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Gigli

Gigli

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Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Monkeytot you need to research before you speak
Review: I just wanted to correct Mr. Monkeytot up there. Jersey Girl is not the sequal to Gigli. Jennifer Lopez isn't even the main female character, Liv Tyler is. Jen is only in the first 10 minutes of the movie!

Anyway, about Gigli, I thought it was OK. Not as terrible as it was being made out to be, but not one of the best movies either. It's entertaining in some parts, and the guy who plays their captive does a good job.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: wrist slitting terrible
Review: this movie is horrible. Just plain bad. Bad plot, bad characters, bad on screen performers, bad camera angles, bad editing. This movie may cause blindness.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Hmmmmm.................
Review: I don't think I even have to write a review...figure it our yourself

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: The Critics Are Clueless! Excellent Movie!
Review: I am not kidding. 'Gigli' is a very good, entertaining movie, with great acting and great cameos by the likes of Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, and Laini Kazan. All three of them shine in this film. Martin Brest's cinematography and style draws you into the acting, and the chemistry between Ben and J Lo's characters is believable to the core. Bennifer is actually very good in this flick. Sure, the plot line may not be as intense and fast paced as a Harrison Ford drama, BUT the film is certainly NOT as bad as some of the reviewers or critics claim it to be! In addition, Justin Bartha's character acting where he depicts an autistic young man is absolutely first rate and just about approaches OSCAR material. He is amazing! It reminds me of Dustin Hoffman's depiction of Raymond in the film 'Rain Man'. It is just as good, and actually quite moving during some very touching, and even sweet moments where he interacts with others. All in all, I give this a 4 star rating because the movie DOES work, with a decent plot line, and some good acting. See it for yourself, and then judge.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: gigli
Review: Note to future directors:
In the future if you are going to direct a bad movie, please and I do mean please make it as short as possible. It is not fair to torture your fellow man longer than needed.
Note to future viewers:
Watch this only if you are a masochist and like to be tortured for long periods of time.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: My verdict? Kaboom! Pieces of Bennifer to the winds!
Review: A collision of sex comedy, gangster motif, psychobabble and "Rain Man," Martin Brest's "Gigli" is an unmitigated disaster of so many inconsistencies and opposing genres that it feels like the movie plays more or less at random, and would nod at being straight satire if a sentimental musical score didn't give it away. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez began their spotlighted courtship with this film, and no wonder they came together: Humans need shelter in storms.

Affleck is the title character, Larry "rhymes-with-really", a head-banging thug charged with kidnapping the autistic brother (Justin Bartha) of a federal prosecutor who means to indict a New York crimelord (Al Pacino). Ricki (Lopez) is an independent contractor brought in to baby-sit the both of them.

In reality, nobody's heart is in the kidnapping, including writer/director Brest, who uses the lesbian Ricki as a platform for his ideas on the gender identity war - we get the bull/cow argument, and a penis vs. vagina summit. Affleck's Larry is a bumbling, chauvinistic fool without class or even much self-control; within days, Lopez, whose creepy performance never rises above a whisper, has deprogrammed his entire thinking. In fact, Larry seems closer in intelligence and ambition to Bartha's autistic, who memorizes rap songs and fades in and out of cinema self-awareness whenever the plots see fit.

Entire chunks of "Gigli" were left on the cutting room floor after failed test screenings, and what remains is an odd series of walk-on cameos with no direction or purpose. Christopher Walken is a cop who drops by to question Larry about the kidnapping. He promptly disappears. A former lover of Ricki's drops by to attempt suicide, she is taken to the hospital, she disappears. There's a quick visit to Larry's mother (Lainie Kazan). Pacino's gangster drops by to shoot a guy in the head, scream a little, then tap his heart in that oh-what-a-day-it's-been! thing Pacino has adopted.

And Brian, the Bartha character, disappears whenever Brest wants to clear time for his two stars; at one point he left alone in Larry's apartment. Then again, he also spends a lot of time in the backseat of Larry's convertible as the two contractors drive around LA. In this era of around-the-clock TV crime coverage, are these scenes to be believed?

Brest has been building toward this kind of boondoggle for years. He wrote and directed "Scent of a Woman," a good movie that was a bit full of itself. Then he directed "Meet Joe Black," a very long movie very full of itself. Brest is a talented writer, and there are lines - entire scenes, in fact - in "Gigli" that work extremely well.

But several of his bits are dated (Brian loves "Baywatch"), one monologue piles on another, and by the movie's nearly 20-minute epilogue, we have grown tired of Affleck's glassy-eyed faraway stare, Lopez's furrowed, understanding brow and the idea that we're supposed to care who's bull, who's cow, who's straight or scared or gay or dirty or clean or, most of all, whose turkey's about to gobbled.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: HA HA HA HA HA HA
Review: Im going to tell you this. THIS MOVIE IS GARBAGE. But so are most of jennifer lopez,s movies.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Why stop at 5 stars?
Review: OMGWTF!?!?!?!1? this movie rocks! bennie is such a cootie and his acting is cootie and better than that from goodwill hunting which i want to give a half star cuz it was bad and things. on the record, jaylo is a good actor and not actress but anyhoo, this movie rocks a party and body and coolio. wasn't he in gigli? sure, everyone was, even me, cuz it roooles. buy this buy this buy this buy this nooow. now. for amazon and for the world!!! plz buy this tnx lol.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Brest's Bankrupt Bennifer Barfitorium
Review: I rented this DVD months ago when it first came out simply to see if it could possibly be as bad as critics have said. I squirmed through it and jotted a few meagre review notes before consigning it to my desk drawer. I was so embarrassed that I hid my notes under my meagre collection of five porn magazines and prayed nobody would find them.
I was very sad to see Martin Brest's name on this film. You may recall back in the 80s that this man was talented. He had promise- he directed the original BEVERLY HILLS COP & the De Niro classic MIDNIGHT RUN. Then at the tail end of the 90s he released his long-time pet project, MEET JOE BLACK; a movie that was half an hour too long despite having Anthony Hopkins and Brad Pitt in it. I was squirming in my seat so much near the end, that I was seriously contemplating peeing into my empty coke cup. But realizing this may have turned me into Dunedin's answer to Pee-Wee Herman (in more ways than one) I put all my willpower to use and made a serious beeline for the bog the second the credits rolled.
By comparison GIGLI is shorter, but also a lot worse and seems to last just as long as MEET JOE BLACK. On evidence of his latest feature, Brest deserves to be blacklisted for life.
Anyhoo, on to the "movie". Ben Affleck is cast as Larry Gigli (but he plays Ben Affleck) : a half-witted, chauvinistic hitman assigned the task of kidnapping an autistic kid who has the ability to learn the lyrics to rap songs (why?). In the biggest stretch of her acting career, Jenny From The Block plays Ricki; a fellow contract killer who also happens to be a lesbian, who is bought in to help the autistic kid change Larry's nappies & look after crime lord Al Pacino (in his biggest career embarrassment since 1985's REVOLUTION).
Through the course of the "movie" Ricki manages to make over Larry from a chauvinistic hitman, to Ben Affleck (the man who accepted an Oscar for a screenplay that two- time Oscar Winner William Goldman doctored. And who hasn't penned doodly-squat since. Hey, his autograph's all he needs to know how to write!). They fall in love, & the kid conveniently disappears from the flick altogether so we can suffer through more pointless Bennifer moments. In fact the "plot" just seems to be a patchwork of bits and pieces thrown in. Some may be horrified to learn that the movie was originally LONGER but some scenes were cut because preview audiences didn't like them. But Hollywood couldn't give a hoot about the opinions of the people: they spoon-feed us their tripe and we movie buffs keep coming back because we're masochists at heart.
In all fairness, GIGLI could have been palatable if Brest had chose to shoot the film digitally, as Mike Figgis did with his film TIMECODE. One frame the movie as we know it, and the remaining three J.Lo's butt wiggling from different angles. Then the film could have been retitled JIGGLY and released with the faint hope that dirty old men in trench coats may unwittingly turn this into a sleeper hit. Oh, well. At least the sleeper part is accurate.
The condensed version of my review could read like this: GIGLI ranks alongside GLITTER and SWEPT AWAY as one of the worst movies I've ever seen. And isn't it ironic to note that ALL THREE of those movies had pop divas as the leads? Maybe this was one of Saddam Hussein's "weapons of mass destruction" that Dubya was on about. If that's the case, then I'm beginning to think that war WAS justified after all. For the love of God, PLEASE don't waste your time with this!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: cool movie
Review: this movie was wicked. and i didn't get bored of this movie which is no doubt.


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