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Beowulf

Beowulf

List Price: $14.99
Your Price: $13.49
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 3 stars
Summary: BEOWULF WITH CHEESE
Review: If you are a rabid fan of ye olde epic Beowulf, and are dying to see it adapted to film, then this is probably not for you. I recommend The 13th Warrior instead. Actually, I recommend The 13th Warrior to any fan of medieval action or fantasy adventure. My endorsement of Beowulf doesn't go NEARLY as far, and yet somehow, in spite of its many glaring flaws, I find this "adaptation" quite entertaining.

This straight-to-video year 2000 take on the ancient tale stars Christopher Lambert as the superhuman hero Beowulf, except this isn't the Dark Ages. Instead, the events take place in a post-apocalyptic future of gears and steaming pipes (a setting that, I feel, was a mistake). It has Hrothgar the "Border Lord," Grendel, and Grendel's mother, but everything else from the poem is absent, and here the similarities begin to wane. As movies go, this is Fortress meets Mortal Kombat (both of which starred Lambert) meets Mad Max, and thrown somewhere in the middle of this techno-gothic realm is Beowulf. Beowulf himself has become a high-flying martial artist (thanks to Lambert's stand-in, naturally); Grendel's mother has become a sexy porn star succubus who seduces Hrothgar in his dreams; and Grendel is your typical B-movie creature with some purple haze surrounding him at all times to make the costume seem more imposing (and, point of fact, it does make the man in a monster suit beastie seem less like what it actually is).

Not unlike the old fantasy flick The Sword and the Sorcerer, Beowulf still manages to be fun in spite of its many failings and sometimes laughable production values (not to mention laughable acting). I still haven't managed to grasp how it can equal more than the sum of its parts, but if you don't expect a film version of the old epic and instead expect a second-rate Lambert action flick, you might have fun also. (stress on MIGHT - different strokes for different folks...)

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: It's just a movie...
Review: There's two ways you can watch this movie:

#1 - as a film rendition of the great epic poem of the same name.

#2 - as a cheesy action flick.

Once you settle into watching this movie as #2, you'll be Ok. If you expect this to be Beowulf ("þæt wæs god cyning!"), you'll be severely disappointed, as the movie seems to just borrow a few key ideas from the poem, but goes on it's own from there.

It took me about 10 minutes to stop looking for parallels between the movie and the poem, and when I stopped doing that, I was finally able to settle into watching the movie.

I wouldn't buy this movie, but I rented it, and for $5, it kept me busy for a couple of hours.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Many reviewers here don't know what they are talking about.
Review: I enjoyed beowulf i thought it was a cool action movie.

The problem was a lot of reviewers were somehow foolishly hoping it would be something else entirely.I believe the character beowulf(a dragon?) was originally in a poem and was a peice of English literature that was supposed to be great.

However this was just an action flick with nothing to do with beowulf other than the name only.For what it was,it was good.But those foolishly expecting it to auctually be about "beowulf" were letdown.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Unlimited Insanity
Review: Anyone coming for a faithful Beowulf adaptation, or in fact anything remotely like any reasonable Hollywood film one has ever seen, is in for a real surprise. I hope you like surprises, as I sometimes do, because after a third viewing I have to confess that _Beowulf_ is probably the best recent example I have seen of whatever passes for unintentional surrealism these days.

Plenty of people who like their genres served whole have complained that this movie looks cobbled togetther from dozens of different films, and that the parts don't sit right together. I am compelled to agree. Never before have I seen a medieval sci-fi horror western martial arts film with a couple of soft-core scenes thrown in for good measure. No other movie would dare to cut from a crowd of futuristically dressed soliders carrying swords, screaming "Kill the Beast!", straight to Christopher Lambert in a trenchcoat on a horse, accompanied the whistle from _The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly_ on the soundtrack. That's as cool as the unexpected intersection of a sewing machine and umbrella on some psycho future guillotine bed.

Depending on your point of view, everything is wrong or a whole lot works. Christopher Lambert is as convincing as he ever has managed to be (I'd pay just to hear him say, "I'm Beowulf" a few more times), the supporting acting is all slightly off, the lead women are gorgeous, and the soundtrack--

The soundtrack deserves its own paragraph. Ben Watkins of Juno Reactor, currently one of the best two techno outfits in the business, basically remixed a bunch of industrial and used a lot of his own stuff to create possibly the most overblown film soundtrack ever--as might be expected, given how much like a b-action film Juno Reactor's music already is. It's less a soundtrack than an entirely separate movie which doesn't sit well along with the all this stuff from _Beowulf_ it has to accompany. Watkins has killer techno going before the fight scenes can even really get underway, leading to the amusing audio-visual experience of hearing his music brought way down on the mix so we can hear the sounds of people walking around, looking out warily for the monster. Not content to use everyday horror shock cues, he seems to have substituted an electric guitar for the usual "woosh" noises, bringing the film into the fifth dimension, without space or time, where Bernard Hermann has no meaning.

So that's that. I don't know if you'd want to buy it. Try renting it first.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Beowulf as you've never seen it before
Review: I watched a pretty terrible movie called Beowulf last night. It stars Christopher Lambert, which is a pretty good indication of the movie's level of badness. The movie is a futuristic retelling of the Beowulf story, and it does a half-decent job of it until the end, when it suddenly veers into an erotic horror tale. I really don't remember the Old English version having Grendel's mom as a hot blonde porn star. I also don't remember the epic being boring, filled with clichéed second-scare, bad cuts between scenes, or Beowulf being such a wooden character.

The movie had two good things going for it: a great industrial soundtrack (which nonetheless doesn't go with the movie at all), and the way it's made me want to reread Beowulf, if only to clear the bad taste of this movie out of my mental palate. I haven't read it for at least ten years, and it's definitely worth the reread. It also made me remember how I want to learn Old English. I'd love to be able to read the poem in its original language.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Pass On This One
Review: The epic poem that is Beowulf ranks as one of the greatest pieces of literature man has ever produced. When a reader ponders the ideas found within this wonderful work of art the mind simply boggles at the depth and richness running throughout the poem. Glimpses of the old Europe abound in this tale about Hrothgar, Beowulf, Grendel, and Grendel's mother, a Europe of drinking halls, campaigns of conquest, human destiny, and dark monsters creeping through the night. Simultaneously, a reader of Beowulf glimpses the stirrings of Christianity, which would soon overrun all of Europe and put an end to the old ways. Scholars of Beowulf never tire of writing articles and books about this piece of literature and new translations of the work continually appear. If you wish to read Beowulf, and I recommend you do so as quickly as possible, check out the spectacular Seamus Heaney translation. Do not, under any circumstances, watch this cinematic version of Beowulf in lieu of reading the poem. Not only does this movie not follow the epic in any significant way, the film also takes a decidedly B movie approach to the whole topic. "Beowulf" stars Z movie star Christopher Lambert as the enigmatic hero, another point you would do well to consider before popping this disc in your DVD player.

At some point in the future, in a time never elaborated upon by the filmmakers, a fortress stands watch on the borderland between good and evil. The soldiers in the fort, led by a king named Hrothgar and his right hand man Roland, fight endlessly with a mysterious creature who shambles out of the dark each night to claim a new victim. The garrison rapidly diminishes under the onslaught of this malevolent apparition until one day a man rides up to the fort claiming that his destiny involves fighting evil. This man is Beowulf, played with mind deadening woodenness by a bleach blonde Christopher Lambert. The men manning the fort are naturally suspicious of this new arrival, but after Beowulf fights the creature to a standstill the men are more accepting of his presence. In no time at all, Beowulf antagonizes Roland, wins the admiration of Hrothgar, and catches the eye of the king's busty daughter Kyra. The killings continue unabated until the big showdown between Beowulf and Grendel, the name of the being haunting the soldiers in the castle. A further surprise appears in scenes involving Hrothgar's dream encounters with a mysterious blonde apparition, a woman who has something to do with the death of the king's wife and who eventually plays a big role at the end of the film.

Initially, I warmed to "Beowulf." Despite Lambert in the lead role, most of the actors did a better than expected job in their roles. The gorgeous Rhona Mitra did an adequate turn playing Hrothgar's daughter. Charles Robinson, who played Mac on "Night Court," does as much as he can in the role of the fort's chief weapons master, and the actors playing Hrothgar and Roland did acceptable work as well. The set pieces looked better than average for a B movie, as did the armor and weapons used by the characters. The movie starts with a nice fight scene between Beowulf and a small army outside of the fort, and this too gave me hope that the movie would rise above my original expectations. As the movie wore on, I discovered my interest waned considerably. The CGI effects used for Grendel and his mother looked cheesy and uninteresting, and Lambert's portrayal of Beowulf tended to grate after the first thirty minutes. The soundtrack contributed greatly to my sense of irritation. The filmmakers saw fit to imbue this project with a booming techno beat, and used it every chance they got whether the scene called for it or not. Sometimes this music does work, but far too often it distracts and annoys. To keep boredom at bay, I began to count how many times Beowulf executed fancy back flips during the combat sequences. In fact, it seemed that the only thing Lambert's character did after awhile was jump around, strike poses, and mutter cryptic phrases about the evil in the fort. As the final credits rolled, I knew I had just finished watching a typical B movie stinker.

The "Beowulf" DVD is far from a bare bones sort of release. There is a trailer for the film, along with additional trailers for films like "Scream 3." A short behind the scenes featurette is also available. The movie itself looks good for a low budget bomb, and you should still have a good time watching the nice looking women in this movie even if you cannot stomach the lousy dialogue or abominable special effects. "Beowulf" is a must see for those who get a kick out of science fiction cheese films or fans of Christopher Lambert, but all others should stay away.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Destroying a Classic.
Review: I love the poem Beowulf. I've read it several times in the original verse and it is one of the greatest epics in English literature. Several years ago when I heard they were making a movie of this classic tale and that Christopher Lambert was scheduled to star as the legendary hero, I thought it was a good thing. However, I was wrong.

The only thing BEOWULF shares with the classic poem is the name of the hero, the name of the king (Hrothgar), Grendel, and Grendel's mother. That's where the similarities end.

The plot of this film is terrible. The acting is lame (Lambert does a decent job, but his character just doesn't fit in this world). The soundtrack is horrendous and feels like something out of a rave instead of a castle on the outer limits of space. The special effects aren't too bad, but considering the multi-million budget of this movie, they are rather crummy. The lighting in the movie is terrible and detracts from what little action occurs on screen. The dialogue is really bad too, but I guess the sfx budget kept the filmmakers from hiring decent writers.

Overall, BEOWULF is terrible. Not only does it rip apart a classic piece of English literature, but it's even a disgrace to the sci-fi/fantasy genre. Not recommended at all.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Good Action Movie With Midevil Fantasy Twist
Review: It wasn't as good as I had hoped, but it was better than I feared it could have been. Nothing embarassingly awful about it, just a good action flick.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Legend to comedy!
Review: I just about laughed the entire movie when i first saw it. I had read about Beowulf before and decided to rent it. When I saw Christopher Lambert with his white hair and crispy voice I couldnt hold the laugh.
It was so funny to see him flip around and beating up people in the siege at the beginning of the film.

The only things I cant say is good is first the ending. its to macho, Beowulf saves the girl and the castle explodes(!). The other is that they use bodybags, gas torches, modern food boxes and even a nightvision telescope(!) this was a bad flaw, but I just laugh about it.

Otherwise, a great and very funny classic.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: not bad
Review: intelectualy this film wouldn't challenge a skittle, but its very entertaining with good action and great performances by chris lambert and rhona mitra(not that any of the others are any good). its basically a sci-fi based retelling of the poem so purists should stay away but for those of us who don't care really its a good chance you'll like it.

acting: 3/10
direction: 8/10
screenplay: 2/10
visual effects: 6/10
story: 10/10
Characters: 8/10
action: 10/10


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