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Anaconda

Anaconda

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Rating: 4 stars
Summary: A great B-movie
Review: Yes, I know Anaconda isn't one of the best movies ever made, but it wasn't supposed to be. It was basically a homage to creature features of days gone by like Abominable Snowman and Alligator. You can wax poetic about the terrible acting, screenplay, and special effects, but you simply can't deny how much fun it is to watch. Among the cast, Eric Stoltz is an anthropologist who spends most of the movie comatose due to a wasp, except when he is needed. Owen Wilson is the sound man who takes every oppurtinity to make out with the production manager (some ex-porn star, I forget her name). However, the ones that seem to be having the most fun are Jonathan Hyde as the snotty and very British narrator, and Jon Voight, who really slices the ham extra thick as a semi-psychotic snake hunter. All this adds up to one hell of a good time if you're not expecting something on the level of King Kong. Enjoy!

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Anaconda
Review: A group of filmmakers looking for a lost native tribe instead finds a man-eating monster in this thriller. Terri Flores (Jennifer Lopez) is a documentary filmmaker on assignment to make a film about the Shirishama Indians of the Amazon, a mysterious tribe known as "The People of the Mists." As Terri and her crew - cameraman Danny Rich (Ice Cube), sound engineer Gary Dixon (Owen Wilson), anthropologist Steve Cale (Eric Stoltz), production manager Denise Kahlberg (Kari Wuhrer), and host Warren Westridge (Jonathan Hyde) - head down the river, they discover a man whose boat has sunk and desperately needs rescue. Paul Sarone (Jon Voight), the mysterious stranger that they save from the waters, claims to know something of the Shirishama and says he will take the crew to them. Instead, he guides the group to the hiding place of the fearsome Anaconda, a gigantic snake that swallows a man whole, vomits him up, and eats him again. The snake is worth a fortune if captured, but its not going to go without a fight.

Among the film's many delights are laughable dialogue and cheap shock thrills (so many objects leap out at viewers unexpectedly, you would think the picture was filmed in 3D). All of these elements keep the film's energy up as the body count predictably mounts. The anaconda itself is a supernaturally gifted critter with the ability to swallow a man whole, yet still maintains the fitness to move at the speed of lightning. Stalking its prey, the snake switches back and forth between a CG Loch Ness Monster to what seems to be a length of over-sized garden hose. Then there's Voight as a Great White Hunter with a marble-mouthed accent. Voight knows how bad the script is here and just sinks his fangs into a juicy, sleazy, horny, greedy character. This flick is trash, but it's fun trash.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: The best comedy I've ever seen!
Review: This has to be the funniest movie I've ever seen to date. I never knew that Jon Voight could do comedy. He pulled it off so well! The facial expressions are excellent. Jennifer Lopez is not so good, but she decent enough to keep the movie going. Ice Cubes' character steals the show with his hysterical one lines. I couldn't ask for more in a genuine comedy.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Entertaining B-movie schlock.
Review: When critiquing a movie like "Anaconda", it is important to remember that you must not judge it so seriously. It is primarily what it is: a fluff piece of Saturday night popcorn-eating cinema, a grand waste of time not without some redeemable points. The story centers around a sociologist (Eric Stoltz) who plans an expedition down the Amazon River in South America in search of the fabled Shirishama tribe; he collaborates with long-time associate Jennifer Lopez, and a cast of others who are there to film the voyage. On the way, the crew pick up Paul Cerrone (Jon Voight), who is stranded in the middle of the raging river during a storm. Once aboard, Cerrone becomes an ominous presence; things seem to be taking a turn for the worse when a humongous anaconda (a sort of predatory snake) makes itself known, and the expedition becomes a personal crusade by Cerrone to apprehend the beast...alive! The effects are serviceable, but are not going to blow you away. The acting is really much better, but Voight as the villanous Cerrone really climbs up the ham meter with his constant toothy leers. Ice Cube and Jonathan Hyde are humorous supporting cast members, the former a streetwise camera operator, the latter the smarmy English narrator. If anything, Lopez and Kari Wuhrer (late of MTV's former gameshow "Remote Control") are nice to look at. Sure, "Anaconda" is formulaic horror fare, but it is one of those cheesy movies you love to watch when you have nothing better to do. Much of the film was shot on location, and the Amazonian scenery is pleasant to watch.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Entertaining Film, Though Not For The Faint of Heart
Review: A film crew comprised of actors Eric Stoltz, Ice Cube, Jennifer Lopez, Kari Wuhrer, Owen Wilson, and some others take a trip down to Brazil on a river to film some things, but are conned into trapping a gigantic snake - that will attempt to eat every member of the crew, eventually - when they meet a scheming snake trapper played by Jon Voight.

The special effects are used to interesting degree, as the Anaconda actually is made to look convincingly real (and, yes, Anacondas are really that big.) Quite a bit of violence, blood, and gore in this one, so I wouldn't necessarily recommend it for those who are faint of heart. Some of this actually gives me the itches when I see it. In fact, I'm a bit surprised that this made a PG-13 rating, as some of the violent scenes border on R-rated material.

This film does not necessarily require a long, explanative review. It's an entertaining, cheesy, fun, disgusting action/horror flick. Heterosexual males will probably want to watch the film to see Jennifer Lopez in an uncharacteristically raw, sweaty, dirtied-up role, as well as for actress Kari Wuhrer. Fans of snakes and gore will probably find plenty to be fascinated with. But, most of all, fans of entertaining, action-packed film will find something here to enjoy. Watch at your own risk.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Basically junk, but watchable
Review: if you want to see an essentially ridiculous film that's unintentionally funny. Eric Stolz and Jon Voight, not to mention Ice Cube and Owen Wilson, must've REALLY needed the money to make this travesty. Jennifer Lopez, considering her talent level, was as good in this as she's been in any of her films ... in other words, spectactularly mediocre.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Anaconda- it's a killer! Or is it?
Review: Anaconda is a distinctly average horror movie, starring such talents as Jennifer Lopez (yes!that's lopez in an early film role), Eric Stoltz, Ice Cube, Owen Wilson, Jonathon Hyde, and Jon Voight, as the bad guy.

The plot: A team of documentary filmmmakers trek down to the amazon, presumably to make a movie about the region's diverse wildlife. On the trip, they stumble across a 40ft snake that is hellbent on making a meal of every single member of the crew. Then Jon Voight turns up, to make life difficult for the crew if nothing else.
As you may have gueseed, plot is certainly not anaconda's stongest point. The acting is surprisingly OK, and for a movie of this nature, features quite an impressive and well-known cast. Given what little material the actors and actresses have to work with, they do a pretty good job. The snake itself is surely the star of the show, and is impressively brought to life with computer effects, and remarkably realistic models for close-ups. Several of the action sequences in the film are of decent quality, and although for the vast majority of it's 1 1/2 hour length the film does little, once the end is in sight it really hots up and becomes quite interesting. Although i souldn't give away the ending to anyone, its fair to say the ending is quite spectacular and uses the effects to good use.
Anaconda is a cut above the average for these reasons, and is a worthy addition to anyone's collection.
What may bore you about the movie is that for a large part, not much happens. Anaconda is good at the end, but other parts of the movie are hardly thrilling. As said before, it plods along for most of the film, and only breaks into a sprint near the end.
So, to sum it up:
PROS: Good SFX, decent action sequences and an above-average casting. Anaconda hardly will take your breath away as the cover design suggests, but it may at least provide you with a decent answer to a rainy day. Seems sharper and slicker than your average monster flick.
CONS: Takes a long time, longer than normal, to get going. Seems as though it is not quite reaching its full potential for a large part of the movie. The kindest thing to say about the plot is its basic.
OK: The acting won't win any awards, but it is fine. Character development is quite reasonable considering the type of movie it is.
The bottom line is to see anaconda, then consider whether to buy it on video or DVD. Some people will love this movie, others will probably despise it. Overall it is a decent adition to anyone's collection, and a horror buff will probably be pleased.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Anaconda (1997)
Review: Director: Luis Lloso
Cast: Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Jon Voight, Eric Stoltz, Johnathan Hyde, Owen Wilson, Kari Wurher.
Running Time: 90 minutes.
Rated PG-13 for snake violence and some language.

Cheesy horror flick that will be pleasurable for those cult-classic lovers; however, "Anaconda" wastes a formidable cast with its poor script and unconvincing special effects. The premise fairly basic--a documentary film team is investigating the swamps in order to complete their film, while area expert Jon Voight explains the ins-and-outs for their production. They are abruptly halted with their filming when one of the crew members is mysteriously injured. They later realize that their expedition is being endagered by a huge anaconda snake (!) that is thirty for blood.

Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube waste their roles as they try and stop the venomous threat from chopping on their entire film team. Voight is good as the creepy expert who wants to use the snake as a marketing tool rather than killing it. The digitally computerized effects make the film more campy than it already is and the script attempts to mix humor with horror--unvailing a poor combination that causes the film to lack sincerity and suspense. If you're looking for a good modern monster mash, pick up "The Relic" instead.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: The Worst horror movie since Orca
Review: This is the worst horror movie I have seen since Orca. The snake looks cheesy and you can tell it is fake especially at the end when It comes down from the celling. It has some corney gag in it and very little gore.

There is one nasty party when the anadaconda regregates the hunter and he winks at the girl. The snake catching on fire and moving is interesting but cheezy.

If you like snake horror movies I recommend you King Cobra which is a little better than Anaconda. The best choice are Python, Phyton II and boa.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: amazingf
Review: truely superiour to the new snake movie crap made todasy this one has some of hollywoods biggest stars a giant snake good gory deaths and a satysfing ending


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