How to Get Married After 35: A Game Plan for Love

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Summary: How I came to write "How to Get Married After 35."
Review: I want to tell you a little story. Not long ago when I was single, I was involved in a relationship with a bright, engaging, somewhat older man. We were just coming back from a weekend at a romantic country inn and were having Sunday night supper in a diner. All of a sudden I looked around, and all I saw were spouses, and children, and families. And I got really sad. Why was I sad? Because they were connected in a way that I was not. Reality had hit: I was 40 years old, I had been involved with this particular man for quite some time, and I knew in my heart of hearts that he was totally unmarriageable. That moment of clarity caused me to do a lot of thinking. For one thing, I realized that while I'd always been in charge of my professional life, I had very little control over my personal life. On the home front, I had been drifting. I also recognized that my professional life had not just happened; I had made it happen. Perhaps I could apply this same logic and strategic thinking to my personal life. So I ended my relationship with my unmarriageable "nowhere man," and for the first time in my life, I began to date with a purpose and a plan. I changed my habits. I changed my routines. And I changed some of my narrow attitudes as well -- such as my definition of the kind of man who might be suitable for me to marry. And this new way of managing my personal life -- this game plan, if you will -- eventually paid off, for my strategies led directly to meeting and marrying my husband Charlie. Now, when I was single, I spent more years than I'd like to admit in my ratty bathrobe and fuzzy slippers, making no social effort whatsoever. In fact, there were times when the only new guys I was meeting were pizza delivery men. One year I even slept through my birthday intentionally, because I didn't want to deal with my painful conviction that time was passing me by. So once I met and married my man and achieved this personal life goal, with the unmistakable zeal of the newly converted, I was driven to spread the word. And I began coaching other singles on how to maximize their opportunities for marriage. My relationship consulting business grew. Eventually I looked at the success my clients were having and said, "Gee, this game plan worked for me, it's working for so many of my clients as well. I'd like to be able to share these techniques and this philosophy with a very broad audience. And the result of that desire is my book, "How to Get Married After 35: A Game Plan for Love," published by HarperCollins. The book is for anyone who does not want to leave his or her chances for love in the hands of Fate. While the book was geared for women (simply because women more than men tend to read relationship books), the principles of the book apply to men as well as women. (At my book signings, or during talk radio call-in shows, men often ask if the book is for them, too, and I always say: "Just reverse the sexes as you read the anecdotes, and 80% of the material is going to apply to you. So you're not off the hook, gentlemen! Writing "How to Get Married After 35: A Game Plan for Love" has been an honor and a pleasure, for there is no better feeling to me than being able to motivate and inspire others to fulfill their own potential. I hope you enjoy reading the book as much as I enjoyed writing it. And thank you for your interest in my work. Appreciatively, Helena Hacker Rosenberg

Rating:
Summary: Not worth it
Review: I was pleased with the book -- it's well-organized and upbeat and the lists of questions Rosenberg asks are helpful.

I do think she is overly rigid on her views about what she considers unhealthy "addictions" but her point is well made that those of us who want to get married ought to examine compartmentalizing our work lives better.

She also seems to have a very limited view of peoples' relationships with their pets -- in my opinion the guy with the dog "Elvira" was fortunate that his relationship with the author didn't progress. I got the sense that she views relationships with animals as very "second-class" and I certainly don't agree with that.

Overall, though, I am glad I ordered the book and expect to loan it to friends.

Rating:
Summary: Worth the time to read it
Review: I was pleased with the book -- it's well-organized and upbeat and the lists of questions Rosenberg asks are helpful.

I do think she is overly rigid on her views about what she considers unhealthy "addictions" but her point is well made that those of us who want to get married ought to examine compartmentalizing our work lives better.

She also seems to have a very limited view of peoples' relationships with their pets -- in my opinion the guy with the dog "Elvira" was fortunate that his relationship with the author didn't progress. I got the sense that she views relationships with animals as very "second-class" and I certainly don't agree with that.

Overall, though, I am glad I ordered the book and expect to loan it to friends.

Rating:
Summary: Worth the time to read it
Review: I was pleased with the book -- it's well-organized and upbeat and the lists of questions Rosenberg asks are helpful.

I do think she is overly rigid on her views about what she considers unhealthy "addictions" but her point is well made that those of us who want to get married ought to examine compartmentalizing our work lives better.

She also seems to have a very limited view of peoples' relationships with their pets -- in my opinion the guy with the dog "Elvira" was fortunate that his relationship with the author didn't progress. I got the sense that she views relationships with animals as very "second-class" and I certainly don't agree with that.

Overall, though, I am glad I ordered the book and expect to loan it to friends.

Rating:
Summary: Read THIS book!
Review: I'll admit I didn't expect too much when I purchased this book. I thought it might end up to be very superfical and blame me for not being married at my current age. How surprise I was to find out that was not the case at all! This book puts getting married in to proper perspective. Without blaming anyone or giving quick fix advice on how to "find that special one" it breaks down the ultimate objective step-by-step. The books asks you some hard questions - "Do you want to get married or does someone else want you to get married?" It makes you examine yourself truthfully and gives control where it belongs - in your own hands. I am very eager to try out what I've learned. Read this book - it'll change you like it changed me!

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Summary: Read the Book - Met the Guy
Review: This book changed my life. It helped me to identify the things in me that were blocking me from getting married. It helped me to clarify what were important qualities to hold on to and what were superficial qualities to let go of when looking for a mate. It helped me to define for myself what I really wanted in a guy and to recognize when I was getting it and when I was not.
It completely revolutionized my thinking and years later when I met someone who possesses the qualities I held as important, I did not let the fact that he did not have the superficial qualities, I once thought important, get in my way. We have been together for almost 5 years now and I recommend this book to anyone over or under 35 who complains that they can't find a nice guy.

Rating:
Summary: Not worth it
Review: This book is a lot about the psychological issues for unmarried women. It's very long-winded. I was hoping to learn some specific tips on how to find the right man-- hoping for some new advice. I didn't get that here.

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Summary: A focused, ethical, inspiring approach to dating
Review: This book is well worth reading even if you're under 35. I really appreciate Rosenberg's balanced approach. She aims the book at accomplished, well-educated, independent women, but she makes it clear that she values marriage, parenting, religion, and other traditional values that seem to be given short shrift in many books about relationships. This is also a highly literate book-- Rosenberg illustrates her points with examples from literature and popular culture as well as her clients' stories, and includes a short bibliography for further reading.

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Summary: Yes, but what about men?
Review: Where is the corresponding book for men?