How to Lose Friends & Alienate People

Rating:
Summary: Great Title, Sub-par story
Review: When I saw the clever title of Toby Young's auto-biography, "How To Lose Friends and Alienate People", I immediatly picked the book up, expecting a hilarious novel of self-deprication and public humiliaton. Unfortunatly, all my money bought me was a 368 page psychatrist's session with occasional humourous name-droppings. There are actually a few funny moments inside this novel, but they are buried under seemingly endless complaints about his annoyingly pretentious collegues (he works for Vanity Fair, what does he expect?), his problems with women (which seem to be told by a very longwinded and unfunny version of Woody Allen), and his smug self-satisfaction that he has singlehandedly uncovered irony in the lives of Manhattan socialites (WOW!).

There are brief, shining moments in "How To Lose Friends and Alienate People", where Young makes some interesting commentary, but there's not enough. And most of Young's observations aren't even that original - they have been better told in the past by stand up comedians like Jerry Seinfeld and Paul Reiser (I would suggest reading Seinfeld's "SeinLanguage" and Reiser's "Couplehood" in lieu of this book).

So don't be fooled by the clever title, Young's novel doesn't deserve it, and unless you've got a morbid fascination with trashy coffee table magazines and the hacks who write for them - stay away from "How To Lose Friends and Alienate People".

Rating:
Summary: He might have even written this one...
Review: I'll bet Toby wrote some of these reviews. I would be disappointed if he did not. Anyway, this was a great book. It made me miss the old Spy Magazine of the late 80's. The Hon Young succeeded in bringing the reader into the Vanity Fair world in a way that makes the magazine that much more interesting to read. It could not have come from a better source.

Rating:
Summary: Love Mirror-Image Titles, Themes, & Messages
Review: There are a lot of reasons why I love "How to Lose Friends & Alienate People" -- and mostly I agree with the previous favorable and enthusiastic reviews. I particularly love book titles that play on the mirror-image, opposite re-wording of classic Dale Carnegie and Norman Vincent Peale positive thinking books about American optimism. Irony seems a timely mode for the Crash of 2002 in America ... I like re-worded titles and ironic humor. An intelligent appreciation of the real subtleties and complexities of human life in the 21st century can help us get through it.

Rating:
Summary: How to lose interest and return a book
Review: When I first browsed through this book, I thought it should be an enjoyable expose on the more ridiculously aspects of the New York publishing\party scene - something rich in insight and satire. Toby seemed the stuff of the always struggling, but always failing, guy that I know that I can definitely relate to (at least the always failing part). I was thoroughly disappointed. As much as I wanted to like this book, I found it extremely repetitive and not particularly interesting. Toby, for as much as he bemoans the lack of a meritocracy in America, seems to complain mostly about success not being simply bestowed upon him. This ironic twist seems completely unintentional and grows tiresome very quickly. Whether he's talking about his social life or his professional life, it's the same theme. Having said that, there are some very amusing points to the book (the dating focus group is worth a novel in itself). Toby is at his best when he turns his talent outward and describes the world in which he lives, rather than himself. Unfortunately, there's not nearly enough of that to hold my interest. Worth a read if you have an extra gift-certificate to burn.

Rating:
Summary: If you read Vanity Fair, this is a must.
Review: Toby Young gives the world a backstage pass to the offices of Conde Nast and Vanity Fair. As someone who has lived in the Trifecta of the US (DC, LA and NYC) it was so refreshing to read about someone who can actually call everyone out on that world of PR agencies running the social circuit and people pretending not to care if a celebrity is at a party, when in fact that is the only reason you went in the first place! There is nothing wrong with being so entertained by celebrities, if there were, Vanity Fair would not be in circulation today. Toby is proud to be a celebrity-hound, I love it!! And the author is totally cool, I sent him an email and he wrote me back immediately. Buy this book!!

Rating:
Summary: Bitter, sad, occasionally hilarious but never boring
Review: It is very rare these days that I find a book engrossing enough to read in one sitting and which also makes me laugh out loud. Toby Young, who has an unerring ability to focus on his own shortcomings, does an excellent job of explaining exactly how not to get on in New York. His waggish personality, a healthy appetite for drink and a large stock of off-colour jokes -- all attributes which would serve you well as a journalist in London -- ensure he makes a total mess of pretty much everything he does in Manhattan, the mothership of all that is politically correct in the United States. Indeed, when Vanity Fair boss Graydon Carter fires Young, he tells our hapless hero that he has a brown thumb. "Everything you touch turns to ****," he explains with a laugh. Young is the squarest of pegs in a world where all the holes are round and to make matters worse, a friend of his who went to Los Angeles at the same time strikes immediate and lucrative success. Young is also very funny about his total lack of success with American women, largely because they quickly realise he is broke (and has quite a few complexes, as well as an impressively large collection of appalling pick-up lines). Two-thirds of the way through, the book suddenly becomes more serious as Young realises he has hit rock bottom and starts groping for a way out. To say much more would give too much away but it's well worth sticking through to the end.

Rating:
Summary: Plausible, cunning, literary: Brit humor at its driest
Review: What a clever book. Ignore the provocative title - Brits are trained from birth to jettison friends and loved ones and skilled alienation is in their DNA. (I think it's also stipulated in the Magna Carta).

This is the witty memoir to jolt us out of Alertness Fatigue and all the government-induced 9/11 jitters essential to keep us focused on Saddam-bashing.

Here's this self-effacing Brit arriving in the Big Bagel to take Condé Nast by storm and canoodle with the celebs - and he totally flubs it on every front. Any self-respecting dude would pack up and go sell matches down Nacogdoches way, but not them blue-bloods. The Honorable Toby Young pauses only to fire up the word processor and - shazam - he's got a hot book out of it that also wreaks hilarious revenge on those who rejoiced in his downfall in the first place.

The book amuses wherever it falls open: the list of words banned by the Canuck airforce brat editor of 'Vanity Fair', Graydon 'Powerstrut' Carter; Young's brilliant idea for an profile of ubiquitous partygoer Jay McInerney as a notorious recluse à la Salinger or Pynchon; belletrist GW's winning way with the "clipboard Nazis" at the Bowery Bar; the major babes in the C-Nast elevators, sizing each other up "with the cold-blooded hostility of professional athletes", pouncing on any perceived fashion disaster with disapproving comments ranging "from the fairly mild - 'Aggressive choice!' - to the outright rude - 'It ain't working, honey.'"

"Alienate" abounds in such gems, delivered with a sure pen and sharpest ear and with that killer diffidence that makes your upper class Oxford type so dangerous to turn one's back on.

Nor is it just a catalog of TY's pathetic inability to bed any of this great country's Grade 1 beauties. Just when you think he's clowning, out comes Tocqueville from the bottom of the
deck and it's spot-on stuff - like that famed observation that "I do not know any country where, in general, less independence of mind and genuine freedom of discussion reign than in America." Ouch, but also let him try mouthing that around the 'Lonely Pines Grill & Bar' ...

Don't take my word for it: check out "HLFAP" at the library or your local brick n mortar and see if you can stop browsing or grinning. Nice one, Mister Young.

Rating:
Summary: gossip and philosophy, all in one fun read
Review: Toby Young manages to combine gossip, farce and social commentary in one terrifically well written book. While he makes sport of many famous media folk, he doesn't spare himself. This book reads like a primer on how NOT to behave in media circles, with many laugh out loud passages detailing Young's spectacular social and professional blunders. If you are extremely politically correct, this is not the book for you. And if you take offense at any critiques of the American way of life, you won't exactly see eye to eye with Young. I found the book insightful and refreshing, especially during this period of too often blind patriotism. Young writes about Graydon Carter and Alexis deTocqueville with equal facility, and manages to make all of it interesting. You start out thinking Young is a big jerk, but by the end, he's won you over.

Rating:
Summary: It doesn't quite make it...but it's a good read
Review: I was excited to read Toby's work as my career is in the dumps right now and I really needed a good laugh. I didn't find the book that funny (and, I normally love the Brits humor and "get it" quite often). I love the title...how clever.

There are some rather interesting (and valid) points made in the book about America. Some of his analyses are very interesting, especially from his viewpoint of a foreigner. I really liked how he compared the class systems between countries and some of the obvious differences and not-so-obvious similarities. The acadmically inclined viewpoints were the most interesting parts. I found some of the sections to be superficial, especially in the first two-thirds of the book. Most of the partying and socialzing with the "in" New Yorkers was rather boring. He either didn't get deep enough to get to the juicy parts, or he just missed the mark.

I agree with some of of the other reviews on here that he seemed to focus on New York as America (or LA) and really didn't have an accurate view of the whole country. Nevertheless, his insights are interesting to ponder.

It's a good read. It does make you think. But, it isn't as funny or entertaining as "spun."

Rating:
Summary: a fun read
Review: This is an enjoyable book, although I take issue with Young's obsession with the good old days of New York journalism. Miniver Cheevy, anyone? On the other hand, by most accounts the Vicious Circle was full of self-absorbed, backbiting alcoholics, so he would probably fit right in.
One funny thing is that he seems to think he has skewered Graydon Carter but Carter actually comes off looking good, like a relatively decent human being, given the context.