First Comes Love

Rating:
Summary: No Longer a Fan
Review: I'm sorry. I'm aware of all the favorable comments regarding this book, and no one should question Marion Winik's writing abilities -- "First Comes Love" is a well crafted book -- but, being that it is a memoir, I must confess that I no longer like or respect her as a person. This is not a love story -- it is an expose of a woman who decides she is going to have what she wants, regardless of anyone else's needs. Neither do I see her as someone I should admire for courage or long suffering. Sure, she finally decides to care for him as he dies. That is the least that she should do, as far as I'm concerned. She robbed him if the rest of his life.

Rating:
Summary: heartbreakingly honest
Review: Marion Winik's funny, honest, and ultimately gut-wrenching memoir First Comes Love answers, in the end, what true love is. In clear, unwavering prose, Winik tells of her meeting, marrying, having two children with Tony Heubach, a gay ice-skater. Given their differing sexual orientations -- Winik is straight -- sex never was a big part of their relationship. Drugs, however, were, and it is the drugs which first brought the two together and drove them apart as Tony desperately sought any respite from the AIDS that killed him (neither Winik nor their two children ever tested positive). The most accurate phrase I can come up for Winik and Tony is that they were "soul mates", and this compatibility on levels more intimate than intercourse made their relationship work. Involving as it does drug addiction and AIDS, many parts of this book are sad. Winik and Tony, however, shared many good times together, including a number of years when they were off drugs, were happily married with young children, and before Tony became symptomatic. This book deserves a wide audience both for its honesty and for Winik's marvelous writing.

Rating:
Summary: One of the most moving autobiographies I have ever read.
Review: This may be the only book I have ever read where I wanted to contact the author and let her know how much her story had moved me. A genuine love story . . . one that left me awash in tears by the time I finished (which was uncomfortable because I was sitting on a beach surrounded by people)! I have recommended this book time and time again to my friends, who wind up thanking me for the loan (and, to date, I've always gotten the book back -- which makes me quite happy)! Marion Winik has a wonderful "voice," a sincere ability to convey emotions without concern that others will sit in judgment . . . I have become quite a fan.

Rating:
Summary: Amazing Story of What Love Can Do
Review: Yes, the two main people in this memoir are self-indulgent, but there is one, and only one, thread that holds them together: Love. It cannot be sexual attraction, because one is gay and one is straight. And the thread of love holds and holds and holds and finally snaps. Marion Winik's writing held me from the first chapter to the last and never snapped.