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The Goomba's Book of Love

The Goomba's Book of Love

List Price: $22.95
Your Price: $15.61
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 5 stars
Summary: the goombas book of love
Review: As soon as I heard that Bobby Bacala had a new book out, I had to get one right away! I even bought an extra few to give out as Christmas presents (just like I did last year with the Goombas guide to life). When I am stressed with my everyday life I like to pick up his book(s) and get away from it all for a little while because Steven Schirripa is definitely an entertaining writer..... I'm looking forward to another book before next Christmas, too??????? Thanks!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: the goombas book of love
Review: Being married to a wonderful Italian, I could relate to the book in so many ways. If you're not Italian - never fear! You'll find stories and lines which you'll be telling and re-telling for months. Be one of the first to own this great book!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Extremely funnny
Review: Being married to a wonderful Italian, I could relate to the book in so many ways. If you're not Italian - never fear! You'll find stories and lines which you'll be telling and re-telling for months. Be one of the first to own this great book!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Another Guide to The Goomba World
Review: Even better than the original, "Book of Love," digs deeper into the true passions of the goomba--from food to cars to oh, woman, of course.

What are some goomba characteristics?
It's already pre-determined that the real old-school East Coast Italian-Americans must drive Caddies, wear Fila jumpsuits and sport gold chains. But these "traditions" aren't just done for the hell of it. There are reasons why the guido does certain things...

CLOTHES: Most Italian goombas wear colorful Fila track outfits as casualwear because having an easily recognizable matching uniform is essential. Also, because most guidos are a little on the heavy side, the Filas flatter the body shape and are comfortable all year round. Of course Fila is an Italian company so that is always the best brand. Guido dress-up attire is usually a dark matching suit (with either a tropical print silk shirt underneath or a dark shirt with brightly patterned tie for real formal events). The guido likes to stand out and always lives by the credo that tasteful gaudiness is classy.

ACCESSORIES: Most Italian goombas wear tons of gold because it makes them look like they have some money, even if that's not the case. The money that the guido does carry is in a roll with a rubber band around it with the big fazool (a ten spot) on the outside. Bracelets, watches, pinkie rings, and of course, necklaces are always worn. The religious emblems (Christ on the cross, Holy Mary) are usually around the neck because most guidos are Catholic.

CARS: Most Italian goombas drive old Caddies and Lincolns because they are big, powerful and roomy. Other guidos may pick a Monte Carlo or Mustang or another flashy sportscar but traditionalists will go for the Caddie. Most Mafiosos drive Caddies because they are flashy and represent luxury to the fullest but regular guidos who can't afford brand new ones go for second-handers and spice them up with tints and sound systems. And of course, the red horn is hung from the rearview mirror and the Italian flag decal is on the back bumper. I don't know about guidos outside of my neighborhood, but Jersey guidos never drive Japanese cars, only American cars.

FOOD: Most Italian goombas eat Italian-American food, not Olive Garden garbage but food from old-fashioned local spots run by fellow guidos or better yet, from Mama or Nonna. Meatballs, macaroni, eggplant, pizza, gabagol, and other old-fashioned goodness. Why? Because it tastes the best of course, and is the most filling. The guido will eat other non-Italian foods at times (it must be satisfying) but none of this modern new wave kind of eclectic cuisine is eaten, and an Italian meatball is always chosen before an American meatloaf if the option is given.

ENTERTAINMENT: Most Italian goombas like Joe Pesci and other Italian actors because they are the most relatable. These guys come from the neighborhood and talk, act and look like the local guido. That's why every Italian guido from Jersey thinks they can be on "The Sopranos." The guido has a fascination with the Mafia because of the similarities but also adores non-gangster portrayals as well, like Rocky Balboa and the all-time King Guido: Tony Manero of "Saturday Night Fever." Music is a huge part of the guido lifestyle. Anything Italian from Sinatra to Bon Jovi to Angelo Venuto are listened to. The music is usually light and danceable, none of those deep Celine Dion ballads or country tunes.

ATTITUDE: Most Italian goombas are from the East Coast so they have that "numero uno" attitude. Guidos haggle when buying something to get the best prices, are outgoing, do everything to the extreme, and show pride in all of their interests-the main one being the Italian-American heritage. Guidos never back down from fights and always go after what they want, whether it's a job or a girl or a calzone. Guidos talk with their own slang, use hand gestures, and strut. The guido's life is a constant hustle, book smarts are not always top priority when Italian charm and quick wit can be used instead. And when all else fails, God and mama are always there. The guido loves all the guido stereotypes, plays them up and doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks.

HOME LIFE: Most Italian goombas are married to a guidette who can cook and look hot doing it. Guidettes can give their men agita and turn them on at the same time. The guido-guidette relationship is always emotional, and the harder the fights are the harder the you-know-what is. The bedroom has a Crucifix above the bed, the sofa is protected with plastic and the house must have a leather recliner, a crystal chandelier, a white and red checkered tablecloth, a mini Tower of Pisa statue in the backyard, and an Italian flag on the front lawn. The kids are junior guidos and guidettes of course, and will grow up to be adult guidos and guidettes. There are always cousins and other relatives dropping by. The closeness of family and friends is always evident and the high level of drama exists because the guido is emotional and passionate about everything.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: The Goomba's Book of Love
Review: I knew guys like this growing up! This book is HILARIOUS!!!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: The Goomba's Book of Love
Review: I knew guys like this growing up! This book is HILARIOUS!!!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Wonderful
Review: I loved this book. I found it to be very funny (..). Great entertainment.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: even better
Review: i really didn't think it could get any better than the guide to life but this book of love is absolutely hysterical and not to mention loving... can't wait for the next one... highly recomended.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: The best compliment I can think of.
Review: I really enjoyed this book. It was a few good laughs over a few good dumps. What else can a Goomba ask from a book sittin' on the back of the cammode.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Goomba's Book of Love
Review: I wanted to read more. It was fantastic!


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