Rating:  Summary: This book saved our marriage Review: The way this book presented the idea of in-the-box and out-of-the-box is what makes this book's ideas seem new and cutting edge. However, look deeper into the meaning of the book, and you'll see that you really get nothing more out of this book than if you had read something like the Bible, which has been around a bit longer than the "Box" theory. I am not pushing for everybody to read the Bible, but just to present a perspective on the kinds of ideas you can learn from reading such a widely available religious book that you may already have lying around the house.For instance, according to this book, you're only really out of the box when you examine yourself and view other people as people and not as mere objects. And looking at the faults of others is of no benefit while examining yourself with a more critical eye can help you get out of the box. "And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not perceive the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye,' when you yourself do not see the plank that is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck that is in your brother's eye." Luke 6:41-42 In the box, you're forgetting about the plank in your own eye and only noticing the speck in the other person's eye. Therefore, you're not seeing clearly. Because the whole purpose of this book is to allow people to perceive correctly, I believe what this book is trying to say is very simple. As a result, there are any number of ways you can achieve the aims of this book without necessarily following the exact steps laid out in this book to get out of the box. And the other major precept in this book? Genuinely care enough about others to see them as people, not as objects. As it turns out, the Bible's greatest commandment is to love God and to love people. To me this means seeing people as they really are and correctly providing for their needs, in essence truly caring for them and not caring for them for your own sake as the book points out. Understandably, this book took some principles from well-known literature that most are familiar with and repackaged it in a way that seems more profound and applicable to the corporate world. The methods with which Tom the everyman tries to poke holes in the "Box" logic and the way Bud adeptly answers all of them also gives this book an air of scientific and socratic methodology that completely separates this book from any ties to religious literature. Same ideas. Different model. Don't get me wrong. I agree with what the book is trying to say in that you shouldn't see people as objects, but as people with real needs, hopes, and fears. And perhaps because of the very way it was packaged to reach people who may not otherwise read a more complete book on the "Human Sciences" than the Bible, I think this book did its job and even got its ideas out to people who have a disdain for any religious literature and believe that the Bible is a waste of time for them. Therefore, I laud the Arbinger Institute's marketing strategy of packaging well-known ideas into this product and getting it out to the right people, and I give it 3 stars as a result. All I'm saying is, as far as profound and ground-breaking ideas, you didn't see it here first, folks.
Rating:  Summary: I suppose it could be useful ... Review: This book is outstanding in helping with judgements and self-deception. The principles are taught and reflected in a business relationship enviorment. The new guy ends up learning how to deal more effectively with people at work and at home. This book is not just for business people. Leadership of Self-Deception is about every relationship. The story and concepts in the book help to open the veil that covers our minds and hearts which cause difficulties with people. The ideas within this book take you to the deepest levels of judging and dealing with people. You learn how to change your viewpoint to have healthy vibrant relationships with coworkers, family, friends, and anyone you meet. This book took me to a deeper level then Who Moved My Cheese and The One Minute Manger. There are twelve inches which seperates are head and heart. This book helps to bridge the gap and open us to better relationships.
Rating:  Summary: A Must for Lovers of Platitudes and Nice Sounding Banalities Review: This very thin book's premise is that we are mostly trapped in "the box". This is a state of mind where we think of ourselves and not of others. By objectifying others and by filtering our perceptions to protect our self image, we get locked into couterproductive interactions with other people. It reminded me of two other similar books "Who moved my cheese" and "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". All three books feel life changing and inspiring, but they fail to change lives. The common element is the simplistic notion that one simple thing (or 7 things) is the magic bullet that is going to change everything. The 'religious' flavour is consistent with the reviews that say "this stuff is all in the bible". There is no practical advice about how to deal with abusive and exploitative people, how to balance your own needs with the needs of others etc. I don't dispute the need for everyone to be self aware and aware of their effect on others, to question their assumptions about themselves and to look at themselves as part of a social system. But there are plenty of better books about that. For example "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman - which has much wider applicability than just marriage. The Arbinger group runs courses and seminars to fill in the blanks. However given the cost of the book it should have more practical detail to deminstrate that this is not just a bunch of nice sounding words.
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