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Rating: 
Summary: Wonderfully written and insightful
Review: As a career foreign service officer, I only wish Margaret Bender had written this wonderful book 30 years ago. Written in insightful, precise and unemotional prose, it provides invaluable insights into the many challenges facing foreign-born women who marry American diplomats and the different ways - successful and not so successful - in which they deal with them. It should be mandatory reading for all Ambassadors and senior foreign service officers who, like me, should have been far more sensitive to the personal and professional issues with which these women and their diplomat spouses must deal. There are wonderful stories of personal courage, determination, and love, along with examples of great resilience, creativity and humor. I was particularly fascinated with the stories of how the parents decided which language(s) they would speak with their children and how varied were the results, both linguistically and emotionally.
Like America itself, the diplomatic service is ultimately richer for the infusion of these women into the community. Margaret Bender has told their tales well and faithfully, and this book should move us all to appreciate these women and extend our hands in welcome.
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Summary: diplomatic life with a twist
Review: For anyone with an interest in what it is really like to be a diplomatic nomad, this book is a must. Bender has interviewed more than 30 diplomatic spouses. All of them are foreign born women married to American diplomats. Though these women's birth status adds an extra twist to their experiences, much of what is stated in the book can apply to all female spouses of diplomats, and probably many male spouses as well. The women quoted in Bender's book, though, are especially brave, because for love they have left the familiar and ventured into the distinctly foreign. Not only do they have their new diplomatic postings to contend with, but also the adoption and integration of their husband's cultures. While American-born spouses might eventually feel that they have gone home when they return to Washington for a tour, these foreign born spouses do not even have that relief. For anyone contemplating life as a foreign service spouse, this book is highly recommended. I would also recommend it to the employed diplomats, who, after reading it, may understand better what their spouses have to experience with the lifestyle.
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Summary: This Book is Long Overdue
Review: In a world where inter-cultural and inter-ethnic marriages are becoming more and more common, it is hard to believe that more hasn't been written on the topic. Although this book definitely focuses on the unique experiences of official spouses in the foreign service, it has much broader relevence. The stories of women who made definite choices to leave their homelands and become Americans is also timely given our current reexamination of "who is an American?" in post-September 11th America. I finished this book with much respect for the ongoing challenges that these women face year after year; as new ramifications of their marriage decisions emerge. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
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