Hold Me Close, Let Me Go: A Mother, a Daughter, and an Adolescence Survived

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Summary: Where is the Mom in this girls life?
Review: A daugther spirals out of control. Yet mom is busy with her new husband (what a gem he is), shuts her daughter out of her home office and generally puts her head in the sand--thinking that simply worrying about her daughter means she is being a mother. A mother stands up and tries to do what is right-takes action and does something.

It is very annoying to read how this mother excuses her own (and her daughters behavior) without EVER learning a thing. Whatever Morgan does, mom grounds her, sends her packing to another relative-does everything but mothers this girl. I would be VERY interested in a book by Morgan--"How I pulled myself out of a terrible time in spite of my mother"

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Summary: you find yourself curious to read about their life story
Review: Adair,the middle aged proffessional columnist ,obssesed with the fear of failure for her duaghter, writes her own biography of her duaghter's teenage years.
The author unconsiously compares her daughter with her own father-the man who has abondoned his wife and 7 children to get to know himself and now at the age of 70 has made no use of his life.
She finds herself scared of the idea of her daughter having the same future as his father's and thus picks on her teenage kid_as she knows her so-with unpredictable groundings and decisions.
Reading this book could be suggested to all obssesed and overcaring mothers or parents who doubt about their parenting ways.I also offer this book to all teenage girls who would like to know why their mothers sometime sound too illogical and vicious.




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Summary: Tell Lara I Love Her....
Review: Hold Me Close, Let Me Go by Adair Lara is a wonderful, terrible, funny, devastating book that took me by surprise and held me in thrall from the first page. I didn't mean to read it. As a 63 year old childless gay man, I had little investment in a book (regretfully) being marketed as a mother-daughter self-help manual. But since I read only nonfiction, when browsing I'll pick up books on any subject, just to see how well the author writes, and so it was with Lara's book. Also, I was struck by the photo on the cover. Anyway I picked it up, began to read, then found I had to buy it. Gay, straight, childless, parent, this book is a staggering read for anyone who loves stories and admires those who can get out of the way and tell them true, even when artful lies are used. Though teenage/family dysfunction is at the center of Hold Me Close, Lara writes of universal experience--one of family, friends, and wrestling demons to the ground to find grace. Suddenly, I am in love with Adair Lara, though my partner of 26 years is not threatened. Read this book. You will be better for it.

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Summary: A Glittering diamond
Review: I was looking forward to reading this book having read Adair Lara's column for years and following the "antics" of Morgan. I thought it might provide some insight into raising teenage girls as I have three myself.

This book was a disappointment from the get go. I was appalled at the lax way Ms. Lara had of "excusing" Morgan's dangerous behavior. She is very, very lucky that her daughter came through the kind of abusive behavior she exhibted, and that Mom allowed, ALIVE! Teens need boundries...teens need parents who know how to say NO and mean it and most of all teens need parents who aren't afraid to make decisions for their "children" no matter how unpopular it makes them. I couldn't believe that when things got bad she sent her away not once, not twice, not even three times...but four times that she shared with the readers. Believe me, there are many times that we "strict" parents would love to send our teenager to live with someone else so we could get on with our lives. Guess What? Being a parent means hanging in there through thick and thin....and why would you send a troubled teen to live with relatives who had trouble sticking to boundries all their lives.

This story was painful at best to read and I kept at it hoping that Ms. Lara would finally stand up and do what was right. I found the ending very hard to take....after many chapters of one destructive behavior after another on Morgan's part all of a sudden she was cleaning the house, cooking, friendly and....graduating from college??

I implore any parent of teens who reads this hoping for advice on how to handle unacceptable behavior to consider it a comical at best and as a guide to what NOT to do with your teen.

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Summary: Lara way too easy on herself...
Review: In the book Hold me Close, let me Go the author, Adair Lara shares her experience in raising her daughter and the good and bad times they shared. This got you really involved in the book, it's strenghts were that it got you involved in the characters lives. You could relate to what they were ffeeling and thinking, because everyone person once in their lives has gone through and felt the same thing. One of the book's weaknesses was that the author exagerates the conflicts a bit much. This makes you think that the book is a bit too dramatical. There are some parts in the book were you could relate to the conflicts that were taking place but your reaction when it happened to you was totally differnt. It was also interesting hearing the authors opinion and how she delt with the situation. Over all I think the book was a very good book, and I would recomend it to any teenage girl who thinks they're the only ones going through difficulties with their parents and their lives.

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Summary: Wow, the honesty it took to write this book blows me away
Review: It can be very difficult to know how to approach one's children. Many of the advice books make it sound like a cookie recipe; if you measure the amount of ingredients carefully and bake so long, the product will be perfect. In fact, there is no way to know when you start how one's children's lives will work out in the end. Most parents want the best for their children but may not know how to make it happen. It is very hard for parents to face this, let alone write about it for the public. I enjoyed reading Adair Lara's book because I thought it was honest. There seems to be a genre of books about difficult teenagers and Morgan fit the type. At the beginning cuddly and adorable; as she grows older argumentative, yelling, bewailing her fate to be in such a boring family, running away. In fact, Adair's family seems pretty interesting, maybe too much so. And it is true that some of her family events did distract her from Morgan, but can anyone stand to spend 100% of her time thinking about her rebellious and hurtful daughter? And with so many divorced families these days, isn't it better to have her father living upstairs than in some distant city? This book again confirms Tolstoy's observation that all happy families are alike, but all unhappy families are unhappy differently. The only addition I would have liked to see would be a statement that her daughter had read the book and agreed that it should be published.

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Summary: Children can be scary to live with
Review: It can be very difficult to know how to approach one's children. Many of the advice books make it sound like a cookie recipe; if you measure the amount of ingredients carefully and bake so long, the product will be perfect. In fact, there is no way to know when you start how one's children's lives will work out in the end. Most parents want the best for their children but may not know how to make it happen. It is very hard for parents to face this, let alone write about it for the public. I enjoyed reading Adair Lara's book because I thought it was honest. There seems to be a genre of books about difficult teenagers and Morgan fit the type. At the beginning cuddly and adorable; as she grows older argumentative, yelling, bewailing her fate to be in such a boring family, running away. In fact, Adair's family seems pretty interesting, maybe too much so. And it is true that some of her family events did distract her from Morgan, but can anyone stand to spend 100% of her time thinking about her rebellious and hurtful daughter? And with so many divorced families these days, isn't it better to have her father living upstairs than in some distant city? This book again confirms Tolstoy's observation that all happy families are alike, but all unhappy families are unhappy differently. The only addition I would have liked to see would be a statement that her daughter had read the book and agreed that it should be published.

Rating:
Summary: Wow, the honesty it took to write this book blows me away
Review: They say to write a good memoir, you must write as if everyone is already dead. Man, Adair Lara knows how to follow that advice - and apparently is still on good terms with everyone in this book. Stupidly shelvedin parenting sections, bookstores should better market this as memoir. No one, having read it, would take it for a parenting manual. It's one woman's story of her difficulties, triumphs, and failures, challenges and sacrifices, doubts and agonies of blundering her way through parenting one of god's most difficult and brilliant (always a dangerous combination) teenage girls.
Also, as Lara is primarily a humor writer, it's screamingly funny, and laugh you will, when you're not holding your breath to see what new devilment Morgan (the daughter) will get up to next. I think the most profound lesson a parent would get from this book is that if you love your kids and let them know it, you'll all probably survive those difficult transitional years.

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Summary: Sadly, a kindred spirit
Review: Two years ago my grandmother-in-law, sage that she is, gave me this book as my husband and I embarked on the rocky teenage road with our then 13-year old daughter. My similarities with Lara's family are profound: I am married to a wonderful man who has embraced (and adopted) my child from a previous marriage; I have fretted, cajoled, and attempted everything from prayer to tough love to help my desperate daughter find her way; I have talked sensibility into myself, only to lose it in a moment of desperation, panick, and fear. My daughter is now 15 and beginning a new life in an emotional growth boarding school...the last hope of terrified and devastated parents. This book leaves me hope that we, too, can come through this seemingly endless nightmare with relationships intact. I highly recommend this book to anyone dealing with a child with entitlement issues, drug usage, sexual acting out, and defiance issues. My daughter read this book and she, too, has gained hope from it.