Paper Daughter: A Memoir

Rating:
Summary: my own experience
Review: "Paper Daughter" reminded me of high school essays a couple of Asian kids in my class wrote, with the same undertones of filial piety and selflessness required to survive in their families.

I can understand where Elaine is coming from as a result of reading these essays, and "Paper Daughter" is similar to a high school essay taken to a whole new level -- to the level of life.

She was very descriptive in describing her childhood, but it was much too rushed in the end. I didn't learn much about her high school experience, which is one of the most crucial times in your early life, and I had no idea what had gone on past eighth grade. Furthermore, I'd love to know how she was treated in Harvard, as she grew more and more detached from her family.

The author has an easy - going writing style which makes this book a good read, and I would definitely recommend it to anyone interested in reading an autobiography about a nonsuperfluous, unpretentious, normal human being.

Rating:
Summary: An Engrossing Memoir
Review: After I read this book, I feel really shock. The author show no respect to her family especially her parents.
I understand her difficult of live (poverty) but its doesn't mean she can judge her parents and show no respect to them.

Rating:
Summary: Two worlds
Review: Come experience two worlds that never really meld into one. A Chinese daughter of immigrant parents who tries to live in both worlds, old China (her parents may be here in the States, but never truly become part of the culture) and the USA . She finds she cannot live in both worlds without deep resentment and frustration and opts to reject her parents old ways in the end. This was an excellent view of the frustration and pain for both sides involved. Gives you a view of those who live in America, but are not really a part of it.

Rating:
Summary: Eh, no big deal
Review: I read somewhere that the events in a person's life are only interesting to that person. So true in this case. Yeah, yeah, Asian girl picked on my American classmates. Asian girl must learn proper American table manners. blah blah blah. The flowery, overly-detailed descriptions were lame and contrived. It could have been a good story if it wasn't so full of self-pity and a narcissistic attitude. Poor child, auntie won't hug her. Poor dear, she can't date outside her ethnic background. It seems more like the diary of a confused and angry adolescent. Now, Amy Tan, that's an interesting writer!

Rating:
Summary: Eh, no big deal
Review: I read somewhere that the events in a person's life are only interesting to that person. So true in this case. Yeah, yeah, Asian girl picked on my American classmates. Asian girl must learn proper American table manners. blah blah blah. The flowery, overly-detailed descriptions were lame and contrived. It could have been a good story if it wasn't so full of self-pity and a narcissistic attitude. Poor child, auntie won't hug her. Poor dear, she can't date outside her ethnic background. It seems more like the diary of a confused and angry adolescent. Now, Amy Tan, that's an interesting writer!

Rating:
Summary: Refreshingly accurate
Review: Not only did I find the book an amazingly accurate account of Chinese values, but I admire it greatly as well. When I picked up this book I read it twice in a row. It takes a lot of strength to go back to your past - not only to reconstruct the thoughts you had, but to be true to yourself in the process of writing for the eyes of others. I feel Mar's memoir is accurate because many of the feelings she recounted I myself have felt. Being only 23, things are fresher in my mind, and it is somewhat easier for me to truthfully admit at least to myself that I had such anger towards my parents. But I also remember that underpinning all our conflicts is a great, great love. THIS IS WHAT MAR WRITES.

Another reviewer of this book said: "I hope the author is not expecting any sympathy or respect for this book, since she obviously lacks any for her own family. I was offended at the way she exposes her family's privacy with little thanks or appreciation for their struggle." This reviewer is missing the point somewhat, as if he/she read only the parts that were shockingly angry. First of all, it can't be denied that Mar has committed no "sin" in writing frankly about her family, flaws and all. Would it be a real memoir if she had not?

Second, and more importantly I think, is that Mar's book says much MORE than just "I hate my embarassing family." Her memoir does rare work: it documents how psychologically American culture (with its comparatively disbanded family structure) requires us to traumatically break from our families (our mothers, especially). The fact of this break is most significant in Mar because her mother did not learn that this is what Americans do, instead, Mar was so traumatized by her youth (surrounded by racists and classists) that she actively sought to buy into American culture and all its discontents. This book speaks volumes about American culture because Mar has the point of view of an outsider choosing to come in.

Rating:
Summary: Enjoyed it tremendously & highly recommend it.
Review: This is a book for everyone.

Richly descriptive, bravely revealing, and intensely engaging, M. Elaine Mar's writing has the remarkable effect of bringing the reader right inside her own feelings and senses, as if to experience her story firsthand.

Its touching vignettes from a family life so infused with both love and pain; its thoughtful depiction of the experience of a working-poor, first-generation immigrant family in modern U.S. society; and its revealing account of a young girl's struggle for identity in world filled with contradictions, are what make this book worth reading.

While I might agree that Ms. Mar doesn't bring everything to a tidy resolution at the end, I'm compelled to point out that this is a memoir, not fiction. Who among us does have everything resolved in life? This book - - as with life - - is more about the journey than the destination.

I enjoyed Paper Daughter tremendously, I wholeheartedly recommend it, and I look forward to more from this author.