Rating: 
Summary: Once a weirdo wallflower, now I'm socially confident!
Review: 10 years ago I felt like a soul going about in a suit of armor fashioned from rusty scrap metal which had once been a septic tank. I had problems stemming from my youth.The time had come for me to change or I was going to die, either of lonliness or suicide, so I got into therapy. I started feeling better soon, but needed to build new, practical habits. I hardly knew where to begin; books seemed a good place. I found Alan Garner's book and seized it immediately. It's a wonderful book if you desire practical conversational skills that will touch many areas of you life in a positive way. Garner gently guides you step-by-step from finding others to meet, to starting conversations & keeping them going, to resolving conflicts once you're in a relationship. How fascinating for a young man like me to know the freedom of exchanging silly pick-up lines (or begging) for the calm of honest interest and realistic expectatations. I am no longer bewildered about why some people are much more successful that others socially, and if you read Alan Garner's book you'll join in the understanding. May you set yourself free.
Rating:
Summary: Great Info!
Review: Althought most of the information seems common sense, if you actively try applying each one of the tenets in the book it works great. The book does a great job of breaking down the kinds of conversations and what to do in the different sitatuations. Definitely would recommend !!!
Rating: 
Summary: Definitely Worth Reading
Review: Conversationally Speaking is surprisingly subtle and deep despite or perhaps because of its simple, straightforward language, methods and anecdotes.
Many a time, at the start of a chapter, I'd think, "where's Garner going with this", or "that seems a little obvious" only to be completely surprised and profoundly taken aback by his shrewd observations and wisdom, a few pages later. This book bears multiple readings because it has much to say in despite being concise. I especially like the chapters on Self-Disclosure, Self-Defeating Rules, and IDF (Idealization, Frustration, Demoralization) disease, which were real eye-openers. If I have any criticism of this book, it would be to say that, like many a self-help book (like The Seven Habits, and First Things First), it features many proactive strategies, in this case for overcoming shyness and improving all relationships, but it doesn't deal with the limits of those strategies, i.e. it doesn't overtly state that sometimes the best thing to do is cut your losses and ditch a relationship that's not working. Instead there is an implication to not give up on anyone, and to shrug off others' bad behaviour, rather than trusting your intuition and calling it what it is.
Keeping that in mind, the book is still worth every penny.
Rating:
Summary: Not perfect, but definitely good
Review: I found this book very helpful, albeit not perfect. It is written in a somewhat academic, dry style, but once you get over that you will find the information is worthwhile. The book is short and has many facts and skills packed into it - so if you want to actually adopt or fully utilize the information, I think a good amount of independent reflection on the material is needed. One thing I enjoyed was that this book is based on actual research - not just one very sociable person's life experiences (which is the basis for other conversation books I have browsed through). Garner reveals many interesting insights into human nature, which are encouraging to the shy and socially awkward! Overall I would definitely recommend this book to someone who wants to learn how to speak more easily and warmly to others.
Rating: 
Summary: For Complete Wallflowers Only
Review: I have a little trouble sometimes maintaining a conversation, and small talk really isn't my forte. I don't ordinarily buy self-help books, but I read the reviews of this one and I thought I'd give it a try. Well, the good news is that apparently I'm much more socially capable than I'd thought. The bad news, for me, is that this book has little to offer to anyone capable of even the most banal responses in social situations. Say, for example, that someone comes up to you at a party and happens to mention that they've just returned from France. Would you (a) ask what airline they took and whether they enjoyed the flight, (b) ask what parts of France they'd visited, (c) offer observations based on your own experience in France, (d) ask the person how, as an American, he or she was received in France given the recent international tensions between the two countries, or (e) offer up any one of a thousand other innocuous responses? According to Garner, you should ask the person "how did you manage to get hotel rooms over there?" or "in what way was the food there different from what we have here?" Well, you can probably imagine how much further the conversation is fated to go once your interlocutor realizes that he/she is talking to a complete ditz: "Well, I called and made a reservation." "It's, uh, French food." I can see these suggestions being of some help if your only other alternative was to stammer out some unintelligible response, or to say, "Ooh la la," or some such thing. Such examples are rife throughout the book, leading me to believe that it could only possibly help the most socially inept among us. Honestly, I'm not trying to be mean-spirited, and I can see how this book _might_ help someone who simply cannot think of a single thing to say. But even in that regard, Garner advances theories and then cuts them short without developing them. About five times I turned the page, expecting to continue reading whatever mildly interesting thesis Garner had put forth, only to find that the chapter had ended! The book is basically a powerpoint presentation for nerds. You're better off just having a little confidence in your own abilities.
Rating:
Summary: For Complete Wallflowers Only
Review: I have a little trouble sometimes maintaining a conversation, and small talk really isn't my forte. I don't ordinarily buy self-help books, but I read the reviews of this one and I thought I'd give it a try. Well, the good news is that apparently I'm much more socially capable than I'd thought. The bad news, for me, is that this book has little to offer to anyone capable of even the most banal responses in social situations. Say, for example, that someone comes up to you at a party and happens to mention that they've just returned from France. Would you (a) ask what airline they took and whether they enjoyed the flight, (b) ask what parts of France they'd visited, (c) offer observations based on your own experience in France, (d) ask the person how, as an American, he or she was received in France given the recent international tensions between the two countries, or (e) offer up any one of a thousand other innocuous responses? According to Garner, you should ask the person "how did you manage to get hotel rooms over there?" or "in what way was the food there different from what we have here?" Well, you can probably imagine how much further the conversation is fated to go once your interlocutor realizes that he/she is talking to a complete ditz: "Well, I called and made a reservation." "It's, uh, French food." I can see these suggestions being of some help if your only other alternative was to stammer out some unintelligible response, or to say, "Ooh la la," or some such thing. Such examples are rife throughout the book, leading me to believe that it could only possibly help the most socially inept among us. Honestly, I'm not trying to be mean-spirited, and I can see how this book _might_ help someone who simply cannot think of a single thing to say. But even in that regard, Garner advances theories and then cuts them short without developing them. About five times I turned the page, expecting to continue reading whatever mildly interesting thesis Garner had put forth, only to find that the chapter had ended! The book is basically a powerpoint presentation for nerds. You're better off just having a little confidence in your own abilities.
Rating:
Summary: Highly recommended
Review: I highly recommend this book to people who feel either shy or awkward in social situations. I feel that I have gotten a great deal of useful information out of this book.
Rating:
Summary: Obvious points of consideration.
Review: I often found the writer to be somewhat out of touch and frankly a little on the light loafer side.
Rating:
Summary: GREAT BOOK!
Review: If you have problems starting conversations or keeping them going, this is a very helpful book. However, it's not a panacea- to improve your conversational skill you'll have to practice. Each section describes a single "issue", such as the basics of effective listening, or how to follow up on information you learn during a conversation. None of it will make you gasp and realize that's the hidden key, but it serves as a useful discussion of why each issue is important. Integrated into the discussion are instructions on how to use it in your day-to-day life. Since none of the ideas are much more than fairly well-known components of interpersonal conversation, most of your learning from this book won't come from reading. However, if you follow the author's suggestions and read one section, then practice it for a day, it really is useful.
Rating:
Summary: Excellent book for starting conversations
Review: The book is direct, clearly written, with many practical examples. There are books on the market that are more detailed in specific topics such as active listening, but as an overall practical guide to improving social effectiveness through starting and maintaining conversations, this is excellent. The key to good converstation, per the author, is asking open ended questions that focus on the other person. Be actively engaged in the conversation through active listening. The book also goes into how deliver honest positives, even when that is difficult. You could call this "spin", but it is spin in the more positive sense, as opposed to what some politicians have performed. The book also deals with how to communicate personal information to maintain and develop the conversation, use of body language, active listening, issuing invitation (conversations and other), handling criticism, defusing difficult situations, and requesting change of behaviors in others. As I said, the book is well written, covers each subject well, with plenty of useful examples. If you liked Covey's "Seven Habits", you'll like this book. I plan to make use of many of the techniques.
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