I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One

Rating:
Summary: Sudden Loss
Review: I lost my Dad to a heart attack. It all happened so quickly, yet the grief is endless. It helps to read how others have dealt with sudden death. This book is helpful and also I am using the faith based grief journal,Write From Your Heart, A Healing Grief Journal. Both books are helping me to cope.

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Summary: Understanding grief
Review: I lost my father to a sudden heart attack. It is difficult to deal with any sudden loss and this book is helpful to understanding grief and loss. Since we all experience different situations and losses how we interpret the book and what helps us might vary. I would say this is a good book for anyone who lost a loved one to sudden death. For some reason it is helpful to read stories from someone who has gone through a similar pain.
I would also recommend Healing Stories of Grief and Faith, From Denial and Despair to Comfort and Peace.

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Summary: The book I always come back to, a 9/11 survivor
Review: I lost my husband, a firefighter, to 9/11. Another widower (who also lost her husband in 9/11) began a group to help other widowers. One of the first things she did was purchase hundreds of copies of this book and distribute them to all of us (they covered this on the local news). At first I didn't read the book, but after a few months I began to fumble through it. It brought so much comfort. Losing a soul mate to a tragedy is brings undescribable pain--you can only understand if you have gone through it. Pam's ability to accurately explore and relate to that topic helped me very much. Both authors have survived tragedy and they don't promise quick-fixes, but a path to move toward healing. There is opportunity for relflection, growth and incorporating our loss into our life as we move forward. In the past few years, I have continued to buy more books on bereavement and healing, but this is the book I always come back to. I keep it by my bedside. I always keep a couple copies on hand to give to friends, too.

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Summary: IF YOUR GRIEVING BUY THIS!
Review: I lost my Mom 3 months ago. This book has helped me through my grief. It explains all the stages of grief. I felt like I could really relate to everything, which helped because the people around me are not grieving, and don't feel what I am feeling. Definetly buy this book!

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Summary: Led me through a very dark time
Review: I purchased this book at the recomendation of my therapist, along with the companion workbook. She told me that it was like having a "mini support group" that I could access whenever I need it. She was right. Thank you Pam and Brook for caring enough to take your own difficult tragedies and find a way to help others. I have grown so much as a result of working through this book. You two are wonderful.

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Summary: What a God-send this book is.........
Review: I purchased this book shortly after my 31 year old brother, Chad, became the victim of a homicide. What a relief to read that I was not alone in my feelings, that I wasn't going crazy!!!
This book helped me deal with emotions that I had never dealt with before & get me through some rough times!!! I passed it on to my Mother & it is helping her. I will definitely buy this book for anyone that I am close to should they experience a tragedy/loss as I did. This book didn't solve all of my problems, but it did help me to gain a new insight to understanding things better in this new world to which I have been inducted!!!!!!

Rating:
Summary: Very helpful
Review: I received this book as a gift after suffering the sudden, tragic loss of a friend in a car accident. I read this book in one sitting. Not only is the book full of helpful resources and guidance, I felt the wisdom and warmth only those who've experienced sudden death of a loved one in their lives could impart.
Also, I found the sections on "loss of friends" and other unusual topics (e.g., loss of siblings, and the like) very helpful. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who's been hammered by the unexpected, tragic loss of a loved one.

Rating:
Summary: Title says it all
Review: I wasn't ready to say goodbye is a perfect title.
My loved one died of a sudden heart attack. The memories haunt me still today. I loved him dearly and miss him more each day.
I also bought Write from Your Heart, A Healing Grief Journal to write down my feeling and to create a personal memory journal.
I bought After the Tears, A Gentle Guide to Help Children Understand Death (video) for my children.

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Summary: Nonsectarian Advice for Grieving from Unexpected Deaths
Review: I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye is the best non-religious book I have read on grieving from an unexpected death.

The authors have direct experience with the subject and share their own deep traumas in considerable detail that added to the relevance of the book.

They also sought out the stories of people who had experiences with unexpected death that were different from their own so that you would have specific examples that come closer to your own situation.

In my case, my Father was 87 when he unexpectedly passed away last September. We all thought that he was good for 100, but he died quietly in his sleep that night. Since then, we've all been in one stage of shell shock or another. I can hardly imagine how much worse it is when the person is younger . . . or is a child or sibling. My heart aches for anyone who has had those experiences.

I found the book to be "right on" in describing the issues that my family and I have dealt with. I wish I had known about the book before my Dad died. It would have helped even more then.

The book helps in many different ways. First, you get advice on the help you need immediately after the death. Second, you learn about the various ways that you may be affected. Third, you find out how long the effects may last. Mourning in these situations takes much longer than I realized. Fourth, you find out how to help others grieve. Fifth, you find many old beliefs questioned that don't seem to be true. Sixth, you get help with dealing over the long term. In part two, there are stories that relate to different types of sudden losses: a friend, a parent, a child, a partner, and a sibling. The third part deals with practical resources for recovering including self-help, therapy, exercises, organizations and support choices (including books). The appendix includes suggestions for a memorial service, a eulogy, calls that need to be made and things to ask friends to do.

In one helpful section of the book, an overwhelmed person can just hand the pages to a friend and point. The friend can take over from there.

Even if you don't think you will ever face an unexpected death that is close to you, I suggest you read this book. There's no way to know. When it happens, be sure that you know what to do when you aren't ready to say goodbye to a loved one.

I drew a lot of my comfort during the experience from my religious beliefs. If you haven't yet developed that side of your life, I strongly urge you to do so.

May God bless you!


Rating:
Summary: Healing and Helpful
Review: I've read many books in my attempts to heal after the lost of my husband--this was the first that was truly helpful. The authors' firmly understood what I was going through and presented their advice in a way that was easy to understand and impactful. I hope they will continue to write in this field--they definately have a gift! If you are hurting and need healing, read this book.