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Summary: An Informative Examination of Guidelines to Follow
Review: When I picked up this book I was looking for some information about the author. I wanted to get an idea on his perspective on shared placement and co-parenting. I had become quite "stuck" in the once traditional way of thinking that the mom should automatically be the primary caretaker (because I had always been). I was extremely concerned that my 4-year old son feel as though he had his "own" home rather than feeling like a ping-pong ball with no place he could call his own. After re-educating myself, I soon realized that my son has adjusted very well and I believe he feels perfectly okay with the fact that he now has 2 homes and 2 families to be loved in. I was delighted to find that the author has written this book in everyday terms and provides some wonderful information on how to handle many aspects of the divorce/co-parenting situation.
We, as divorcing individuals, need to put aside (and work through our own grieving of the end of the marri! age and dreams we had ourselves) or the "negative intimacy" that clouds much of our initial reactions and decisions. The bottom line is that if we are truly loving and wanting to make the healthiest transition from a two-parent home to "2" - one-parent homes for our children, we must make a conscious effort to put our children truly first and not allow our emotions (or the button pushing attempts of the other parent) to trigger unhealthy reactions and/or responses from us. I have realized that if my child's father tries to push my buttons - it is because he is at a different coping level within the grieving process of divorce (negative intimacy) than I am. When I view it from this standpoint, I am much more successful at dodging those buttons!
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