Miss America by Day

Rating:
Summary: A less safe place for 17,000,000 pedophiles
Review: "Miss America by Day" shows that the more we share about our own experiences, the more others with similar experiences can relate. My copy of this book is filled with "Her too!" comments . . . The fear that friends and family would turn their backs on me if I disclosed, my inability to buy a book about incest because the clerk would "know," the physical ailments of unknown cause that slowly dissipated after I began to recall . . . and the importance of partners, children, friends, and therapists in the healing process.

I especially appreciated the way van Derbur interweaves her personal experiences with research by experts such as Drs. Chu, Hermann, Briere, etc. She did her homework.

(...)


Rating:
Summary: Miss America by Day
Review: As Marilyn shared the details of her recovery, it became clear to me that I, too, could conquor terror and shame.

Rating:
Summary: So informative!
Review: It is hard to find books that relate the emotional truth of sexual abuse, not only from the victim's point of view, but from all points of view. I am not a victim of sexual abuse per se but I have seen the eye of a perpetrator - a man exposed himself to me when I was 9. I am, however, very close to a woman who was abused as a child by a family friend. And, I am now processing the knowledge of an assault that happened between 2 families to whom I am close to. It is incredibly difficult to understand this kind of criminal behavior, and I wasn't raised in the greatest family. It is also difficult to understand the effects of sexual abuse. Thanks to Marilyn Van Derbur, I am able to get a better handle on these very complicated issues. And, more importantly, her description of herself almost parallels the description of someone else close to me who I once believed was simply "abused" in her childhood but, after reading this book, now believe that she may also be the victim of incest. It changed my mind about her obvious pain and odd behavior.

So, I do recommend this book to anyone who has come in contact with a victim of sexual abuse. It will make you think and it will help you understand a great deal more about this very difficult topic.

I am contributing this book to our local library. I was surprised it was not already there.

Rating:
Summary: A Classic -- Should Be Required Reading!
Review: Marilyn Van Derbur's writing style is such that once I began reading it, I could not put it down! She tells her story of suffering and heartbreak but also presents the triumph of healing, a life fulfilled and truly a love story as well! It doesn't matter whether one has suffered from abuse (of any sort)-- this book teaches how to recognize those who have been abused, how to heal or help others heal and how to help prevent abuse.

Rating:
Summary: A Classic -- Should Be Required Reading!
Review: Marilyn Van Derbur's writing style is such that once I began reading it, I could not put it down! She tells her story of suffering and heartbreak but also presents the triumph of healing, a life fulfilled and truly a love story as well! It doesn't matter whether one has suffered from abuse (of any sort)-- this book teaches how to recognize those who have been abused, how to heal or help others heal and how to help prevent abuse.

Rating:
Summary: The powerful autobiography of Marilyn Van Derbur
Review: Miss America By Day is the powerful autobiography of Marilyn Van Derbur, a woman who, once crowned Miss America, was finally at age 53 able to say to the public, "I am an incest survivor." Sexually abused by her father from age 5 to 18, the scars of her maltreatment haunted her for years; Marilyn Van Derbur's personal story is one of seeking peace, working hard to achieve lasting love, and cautioning society against the depredations of the most vile types of human predators. Miss America By Day is a highly recommended addition to Women's Studies, Human Sexuality Studies, and Contemporary American Biography reading lists and library collections.

Rating:
Summary: Miss America By Day
Review: One of the best books I've read in a long time, and a must read for anyone who has ever been sexually abused as a child or for anyone involved in the counseling of people who have undergone this horror. I have only one question. I would like to know why Oak Hill Ridge Press, the publisher of this book, has limited it's availability to the state of Colorado and to online purchase? The jacket of the book states how Marilyn Van Derbur "has devoted much of her adult life to raising national awareness and understanding of sexual abuse and its long-term effects." So why would a book like this which is worth its weight in gold only be available in bookstores in one state in the United State? That's bizarre. Inter-library loan taps into 3000 libraries across the country and in that system there are only 4 copies of this book. Three of those are in Colorado and one is in Nebraska. I was told here in Florida by B. Dalton books that it is because the book is considered Denver history. I read the book and it has little to do with Denver history--it is the beautifully and courageously written biography of a survivor of incest.

Rating:
Summary: Very inspiring story
Review: This book is a must read for anyone going through the process of recovering from the effects of childhood (or adult) sexual molestation. It would also be of good value for anyone who wants to understand more about the impact sexual trauma has on people. As the spouse of someone who went through childhood incestual abuse, I wholeheartedly recommend this book to both the spouse and their partner.

There are two reasons I did not rate this a 5: 1)Marilyn has fallen prey to one or two urban legends about abuse. For example, she repeats the untruth that the phrase "rule of thumb" came from an old english law that you could beat your wife with a stick that was no thicker than your thumb. It's an oft-reported, but completely untrue tidbit that was born out of the angrier, more militant ranks of modern feminism.
2) The book (and Marylin herself) rely very heavilly on anecdotal evidence to support her point, and that causes me to take some of her conclusions and beliefs with a grain of salt.

But despite those minor items, her book overall is incredibly valueable to anyone that wants some insight into the life of someone who deals with and eventually resolves childhood sexual trauma. It can be done....

Rating:
Summary: Amazing, MUST read
Review: This is the best book about incest, surviving, truth, honesty, and healing that i have EVER picked up and read. I read it all in 3 days, and then proceeded to read it again another 3 times. There are certain chapters that I read and skip the rest. She is strong on her views, but more so, strong in herself. It is my hope that everyone will have a copy of this book on their shelf in time. It is a must read book even if you are not a survivor. It will teach you warning signs, how to talk to other survivors, how to talk with children. This book was carefully and honestly written. I wish there were a hundered more out there like this!