How to Get Your Lover Back

Rating:
Summary: Was not helpful in my case
Review: As the other reader writes this book is for men who neglected their women and did not pay enough attention to their needs while they were together. My situation is very different. My lover left me and we live in 2 different places. He loves me but he doesn't want to be with me because he dealt with a lot of my stress in our relationship. Due to long distance unfortunately I have no chance to show him how much I am changed or applying any of the tactics from the book. I am still crushed that we will not get back together.

Rating:
Summary: Life-changing new ideas
Review: Don't be fooled by the cheesy title at all. I was, but luckily, instead of sneaky gimmicks, I found a book that taught one principal idea - if you can and do love your ex 100%, you will want to do what is best for him/her, which is ultimately to give them love, space, and time. This is an invaluable lesson in giving to others, not always putting yourself first. It's a lesson you can apply anywhere, and not only made me want to use it on my ex, but my friends and family as well. Of course, it doesn't work for everyone. What do you do when your ex truly tires of you, and falls out of love? But if in your relationship, there was love, Dr. Harris gives you hope that there IS something you can do - love your lover with all your heart, and things will work out for the best. The greatest thing about this book is that no one loses in the end. There could have been more specifics in the book, though. There was a lot of rambling and no defined clear-cut answers. In a time of despair like we are in, blunt solutions are all we want to hear!

Rating:
Summary: Loving 100%
Review: Dr. Harris really hits the nail on the head when it comes to LOVING your way back!! This book is for those who truly want the love of their life back...What the book teaches indirectly is what is the big picture, winning the battle or having Love in your life, his techniqes make sense and use love/logic not fear. The book only falls short in one category...The lover who is not talking to you. How to re-establish contact and rebuild the bond. If I used this book prior to my relationship ending, I'd still be with my ex. This book has definetly helped me grow and I recommend it..If your reading Dr. Harris...You need to write a book on skills for the LOVER who has relaced you and will not talk to you

Rating:
Summary: Gave me inpiration to try -- and I've succeeded!
Review: Every book has its critics. I bought the book at a time when my lover had left me and had no intentions o returning. He still loved me but didnt want to be with me. I read the book and waited. It took some months but I loved him back to me. Get the book. Read it and get your lover back.. BUT dont forget the techniques learnt to maintain the relationship.

Rating:
Summary: I will get her back
Review: I started this book last night, and as I get into the 'nitty-gritty' of how to get my lover back, I am a thousand times more hopeful than I was before I started reading it. Blase Harris really captures the loneliness and despair of losing the love of your life, but seems also to be documenting the steps I've taken already, since I broke up with my lover a month ago today. He writes, "There is a...very parctical, crucially important reason for getting a lover back. If you don't learn how to make a relationship work, then when? Finding another fish in the sea is not good enough...So long as you and your ex-lover are alive, your relationship is not dead". This gives me the inspiration to continue, and Harris seems certain to help me find the ways and the words to make it happen.

The book is worth reading, if only for the excellent plot summary of Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream"

The title, and rather flamboyant cover of this paperback edition is a little off-putting though.

Rating:
Summary: Gave me inpiration to try -- and I've succeeded!
Review: I stumbled across this book at a local bookstore after I had broken off a relationship.

Although I was pretty embarrassed to be seen buying this gaudy-looking number I quickly found out it was just what the doc had ordered: I had ended a relationship (won't go into details here) but realized that I really had made a stupid mistake; yet, I somehow felt too prideful to try and get my relationship back. Working with this book helped give me the courage to go for it without feeling I somehow was going to lose face in my attempt, which was a big issue for me.

I'm not saying that had I not seen this book that I wouldn't have attempted to get my guy back -- yes, a lot of the book's advice seems to be common sense -- but Dr. Harris' supportive writing style helped give me the backbone to start ASAP by giving me the recipe to apply my efforts effectively and efficiently, instead of letting me potentially stumble and fumble through the process. Via this book I felt encouraged all along the way and gained confidence in my relationship skills.

Just as important, I am grateful to have felt that I had someone in my corner, cheering me on. Harris has a lot of wisdom about relationships in general that will keep me on track with my guy, with whom I couldn't be happier. This book was well worth the investment -- especially since it took so little of my time to read it -- for the results that I have gotten.

Rating:
Summary: I was disappointed
Review: I was disappointed in this book. Granted there was some solid useful advice: That you should show by word and deed how much you truly love your ex and put your own neediness on hold; use positive visualization; don't grovel or argue. My problem is that all such useful advice is presented in a general and abstract fashion, whereas the material that is concrete and specific is severely limited in application. For example, almost all of the couples in the case histories are already seeing one another regularly for dinner and a movie. But Dr. Harris offers no real advice on how to get to that point! What if you are not regularly seeing your ex at work or school or for "catch up dates?" There is an extremely limited chapter at the end, almost like an afterthought, on "Dealing With A Resistant Lover," that needs to be expanded! If your lover isn't "resistant," you don't need this book in the first place. A big chapter up front, on "Sex With Your Ex" seems largely gratuitous. If nothing else, the placement and weight given to these two subjects should be reversed. I'm anxious to try out the good stuff I learned from Dr. Harris. I just wish he had told me how to get close enough to my ex to do that. Sorry, but his advice to send cards and/or gifts at Christmas and birthdays doesn't quite cut it.

Rating:
Summary: Good advice in book will help to not lose the next one
Review: The advice seems to be good advice to use in any relationship. You also have to know your own situation very well and know when not to use his advice. My ex would feel crowded if I sent her a bunch of sweet cards like the book says to do and would feel like I was trying to manipulate her, therefore I took it easy on the cards. My ex may never get back with me because we are long distance but I feel I am loving her much better than before because of this book even if she doesn't realize it. Remember to NEVER tell your lover that you read this book, especially if he/she is nervous about being manipulated.

Rating:
Summary: This book is for men who have neglected their women.
Review: This book was written by and for the typical obnoxious man who takes his woman for granted until she finally ups and leaves. Since the type of woman who tends to be with a neglectful man in the first place is love-addicted, it's not that hard for a man in this situation to get her back by "loving 100%" as the book suggests. Since he was loving-not-at-all previously, this is generally impressive. The man will tend to go back to his old neglectful ways after he "wins", and the book takes pains to caution against this.

Unfortunately, this book will tend to attract female (and male) love addicts rather than the male avoidance addicts (to use Pia Mellody's terms) to which its geared, and thankfully the author realizes this. He takes pains to distinguish between the craving of need and excessive dependency versus real love. He even provides self-tests that will highlight love addiction, and counsels against even trying to get your lover back if you are struggling with this problem.

As a woman in recovery from love addiction, I did find the book to be helpful, though I do not believe that it will help me to get my lover back. My situation is different from the author's situation and his sample cases in the book. My ex-lover didn't leave me because I was neglecting him. He left me because I was falling all over him, trying too hard, and smothering him with my need. I don't think anything on earth can empower me to get my lover back, and the sooner I know this the better.

I found the book helpful because of how strongly it counseled again doing anything incompatible with dignity and self-respect--even when faced with your ex-lover's new lover--and I needed to hear that. I may have lost him, but I don't want to lose myself, as well. I will have occasion to see him tonight, which is why I bought the book, and I will consider the evening a success if I manage to smile and behave with self-respect and integrity. I don't want him to read fear, longing, and misery in my face when he sees me, and that's the way it's been for the last year. I think my ex-lover may be "impaired", as the author terms it, in his ability to love (as I was when I was with him), so sadly I don't think I can expect him to come back to me, no matter what I do. But if I can stop acting so pitiful around him, that in itself will feel like a home run to me.

I hope that desperate love addicts don't take this book as encouragement to stalk their ex-lovers. I recommend that anyone who reads this book also read the book "Obsessive Love" by Susan Forward. Sending flowers and gifts to an ex-lover who says s/he is no longer interested is an extremely bad idea. In the book "Getting Your Lover Back", the ex-lovers were obviously still interested--they accepted dates with their ex-partners. If your ex-lover says she or he does not want to see you or hear from you, respect his or her wishes. To do otherwise is stalking, not loving.