Intimate Connections

Rating:
Summary: Helps you get dates, but doesn't promise instant perfection
Review: Burns' book "Intimate Connections" based on the same cognitive behavior techniques as in "Intimate Connections" did wonders for my dating life.

Sure, it didn't help me find the "ideal compatible mate" for right away. No book could ever do that, and that's not a fair criticism. And to be honest, Burns never onced claimed that his books would help you find the "perfect" mate or indeed perfect anything for that matter.

But CBT helped me to get out there in the dating arena, to not do the things that were self sabotaging and helped me to become more like the person I'd always dreamed of being both in dating and non dating scenarios. And lets face it: you first have to be able to GET dates before you ever stand a prayer of finding an ideal "compatible" mate. To sit around moping that you won't do something until it's "perfect" or be with someone unless they're "perfect" is pretty unrealistic to put it mildly. But it's perhaps explained by what follows:

Burns cites a study in Intimate Connections that showed how depressed people share a trait in common, although to a lesser degree, with the schizophrenic: Both groups tend to not see reality as realistically as the non-depressed and non-schizophrenic. Thus depressed people tend to discount the positives in life about themselves and the world and see things as being much more hopeless and futile than non depressed individuals.

So the point is, if you're depressed and your first impulse is to say that CBT is a bunch of rubbish before you've even given it a try then you may be a victim of those very distorted perceptions that depression causes. Thus you may be depriving yourself of the very thing that might help you.

Consider this: For all you might gain, it seems a very small price to pay indeed: To risk less than eight dollars and possibly have your righteous indignation proven utterly false if you initially scoffed at CBT. To any reasonable person that sounds like NO risk at all.

Rating:
Summary: Treats the Source, Not Just the Symptoms
Review: Dr. Burns gets to the heart of the matter by developing your self-esteem, self-confidence and resilience to rejection (and you will be rejected) before sending you out into the cruel world of dating. He's not a pop-psychologist, but an M.D. world-renowned in his profession for helping people to overcome the sources of their unhappiness. The book is an easy read, and the advice is down-to-earth, practical and seriously effective. It's also [inexpensive], so do yourself a favor and buy it now!

Rating:
Summary: Making your own happiness happen
Review: There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who expect happiness to be handed to them on a silver platter and those who make it happen. Unlike like kooky new age books and dubious pop psych. books that overflow in the self-help sections of book stores, this book is actually based on nearly 30 years of rigorous scientific research that has shown cognitive behavior therapy to be at times even more effective than antidepressant drugs. You cannot argue with science, period.

Some have criticized this book because it insulted their sensibilities; that it presented a scientific view of love, happiness and dating success that is contrary to how they think these things "should" be merely based on second hand opinions, TV movies and mindless talk shows; and Harlequin novels.

Sure, quite often a certain amount of "game playing" is necessary at first in dating. Some dates, for whatever reason, really do test their prospective partners to see how confident and self assured they are, and if you fail their tests then you're outta there. Some may not like to hear that; but that's simply just the way it is. Live with it. You can either do what you've always done and get the same results, or you can read this book and maybe discover how to literally change your world by changing your heart and mind.

This book teaches you what attitudes and behaviors you may have had in the past that were counter productive and how to change them so that you'll be more knowledgeable, confident and successful in the dating world.

It literally teaches you how to empirically prove for yourself that happiness truly literally does come from within, and that simply parroting such happiness phrases without the congruent state of heart and mind within is like reading a book on the piano playing and then claiming that you're a pianist.

So if you truly wish to improve you dating life, set aside whatever overly sensitive sensibilities and preconceived ideas you may have about how dating and romance life "should be" and GET OVER IT! Assume that you know nothing about dating and simply do everything this book tells you to do. Treat it like a scientific experiment, for that's exactly what it is.

Sure, everybody has an opinion, but without empiricism opinions are mere irrelevant armchair philosophizing. Do the work and observe the results then YOU can be the one to speak with authority. All it will cost you is less than ten dollars and a few months of your time. If it doesn't work in your case then you've lost a little money and time, but just imagine how wonderful it could be if it does work. Don't you think you're worth enough for the possiblity to gain so much for such a relatively small expense of time and money?

Rating:
Summary: IF YOU'RE A SHY PERSON, YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK
Review: This book changed the way I thought about myself. I will never be the same again. There are so many helpful things in this book that I can't list them all, but what helped me the most was the realization that I am not a freak. Sounds simple, but I believed that I was, ever since high school. Now I know that I am completly normal, and life is full of possibilities. If you are afraid of people, think that your coworkers are thinking bad thoughts about you, can't even approach someone of the opposite sex, or are just shy, you need to get this book. You don't have to stay stuck where you are. Don't let life pass you by.

Rating:
Summary: a great book
Review: This is a great book for learning how to find a love partner.But this book is like most of David Burn`s books in that it requires some work on the part of the reader to change deeply-entrenched behaviors and attitudes in themselves.If you are willing to do this,the book will help you a great deal.This book shows you that you dont have to necessarily change the person you are,but that you do have to change the way you appear to people.In other words,your posture,your appearance,hygiene,the way you carry yourself.These factors are vital to making yourself appealing to the opposite sex.Before I read this book,I was an absolute slob and a geek.Now,I have enough confidence in my appearance and value as a person to approach females that I`m attracted to and score with them!