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How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work : Seven Languages for Transformation

How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work : Seven Languages for Transformation

List Price: $19.95
Your Price: $13.57
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Tools for removing Roadblocks to change
Review: As author of the book "The evolving Self", Kegan is amongst the select few that have written about life's transformations. He really figured out how and why people are "committed" to resist change. Now Kegan offers tools to "transform" from one level to the next. Most of the time, when confronted to change, a little voice inside us will tell us why not the change. According to Kegan & Lahey, this voice speaks with 7 tongues. One could even say that these "voices" make us immune to change. Luckily, for each of the 7 languages, this book offers a powerful antidote.

What I like about the book is that it's practical. It includes exercises and models that you can apply in your day to day practice. As such I recommend it to people who want to get through a transformational stage themselves (as a how-to book) or who want to help others.

What I regretted is that there in no reference section nor any footnotes (contrary to Kegan's other excellent books). In other words, this book makes it seem that the authors "invented" all this, while there are several other books (including my own) that offer solutions to several of the roadblocks mentioned here. To make the reader aware that there are other books helping to get through roadblocks, I especially want to mention Donald Mitchell's "The 2,000 percent solution", which is more practical for a business context. But to be fair, this book also includes some new material I haven't seen elsewhere.

Recommended!

Patrick E.C. Merlevede - author of "7 Steps to Emotional intelligence"

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Basic psychology for business people
Review: Did you ever hear of something called "secondary gain"?

"Secondary gain" is the "hidden", possibly unconscious, reason why a person acts in a way that may, to an external observer, appear to be self-defeating. For example, Joe Bloggs frequently, and apparently sincerely, expresses a desire to lose weight - but he never does.
Why?
Because Joe has an unspoken belief that he will be safe from mugging so long as he looks big enough to wrestle a bull.

This isn't exactly rocket science. The genius of this book is that Kegan and Lahey have taken the "secondary gain" principle and repackaged it (without the usual psycho-babble) in a way that, hopefully, will appeal to the business community at large.

To this end they have developed a means by which people can quickly and easily - if they are willing - uncover what the authors call the "competing commitment" that undermines a person's declared commitment in a given situation.

For example, manager Fred Katz has the declared commitment of empowering his subordinates. Yet he briefs his people on a strictly "need to know" basis (and of course only Fred knows what his people "need" to know).

Using Kegan and Lahey's approach, described in detail in this book, Fred might discover that he has a competing commitment to gain promotion by demonstrating his indispensability. This he can only achieve, as he sees it, by keeping his people dependent on him as the one person in the department who has access to the "big picture".

Will this self-knowledge guarantee that Fred changes his behaviour?
Not necessarily. But at least he has a better understanding of his situation and is in a position to look for ways of achieving *both* commitments (empowerment AND promotion) in a constructive and non-conflicting manner.

Along with the main thrust of the book, the authors make a number of observations that are absolutely key elements of better management skills, including:

- sometimes it's better to let a problem ride, giving yourself a chance to learn from it, rather than trying to "fix" every little blip the moment it appears
- "The changing that people do because others make them costs an organisation a very dear price and is much shorter lived than the changing people do because they have first changed their minds"

This is a book that EVERY manager can benefit from reading, even those who think they have already achieved optimum performance.

My one criticism of the book - the reason why I have only given it four stars - is that flow of the text is regularly interrupted by lapses into poor grammar and sentence construction. And this despite, one assumes, the attentions of a professional editor.
How, for example, did this paragraph ever get into print?:

"But how exactly might we further creating and practicing this language in real life work (as opposed to merely illustrating it)?"

And a few lines later:

"Whatever salable [sic] product they have produced ..."

Surely even a basic scan of the text with a decent spelling/grammar checker would have been sufficient to pick up items like this?

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Seven International "Languages"
Review: Kegan and Lahey explain that their book "is about the possibility of extraordinary change in individuals and organizations. It locates an unexpected source of boundless energy to bring these changes into being" and then assert that "if we want deeper understanding of the prospect of change, we must pay closer attention to our own powerful inclinations not [italics] to change. This attention may help us discover within ourselves the force and beauty of a hidden immune system, the dynamic process by which we tend to prevent change, by which we manufacture continuously the antigens of change." I am convinced that most human limits are self-imposed...that in Pogo's words, "We have met the enemy and he is us." The authors do indeed focus on what they call "an unexpected source of boundless energy" which significant change requires.

Throughout the book, they examine what they call "Seven Languages for Transformation" and suggest how to gain fluency in each. Four are Internal Languages: Commitment, Personal Responsibility, Competing Commitments ("Diagnosing the Immunity to Change"), and Assumptions We Hold ("Disturbing the Immunity to Change"). Fluency in these four enables us to build "The New Machine." There are also three Social Languages: Ongoing Regard, Public Agreement, and Deconstructive Criticism. Fluency in these three enables us to maintain and upgrade "The New Machine."

It is important to keep in mind that we communicate with others as well as with ourselves in three primary ways: body language, tone of voice, and content (ie what we verbalize). Decades of scientific research reveals that, in face-to-face contact, body language has the greatest impact, followed (at a significant distance) by tone of voice and then content. In voice-to-voice contact (eg during a telephone conversation), tone of voice has perhaps three times greater impact than does what is verbalized. I mention all this by way of suggesting that HOW we communicate with others and (especially) with ourselves has a major impact on behavior. Hence the importance of replacing a negative attitude. with a positive attitude. For example, to replace the Language of Complaint with the Language of Commitment.

What the authors provide is a cohesive and comprehensive process by which to recognize, understand, and then eliminate various barriers to personal and then to organizational change. In recent years, organizations throughout the world have invested hundreds of millions (billions?) of dollars in the improvement of systems of various kinds. What is sometimes overlooked or at least underestimated (at great cost in terms of hours as well as dollars) are the negative attitudes of those involved in change initiatives. Kegan and Lahey eloquently and convincingly suggest specific strategies to transform those attitudes through fluency in seven "languages" within the curriculum of what they view as a "new technology" of learning. Those who share my high regard for this book are urged to check out O'Toole's Leading Change and Senge's The Dance of Change.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Superb treatment of the subject
Review: The authors do a wonderful job of tying the science of languages and communication to the business of work and life. Filled with great examples from the world, it is easy to understand and digest.

Recommend also: "The Leader's Guide: 15 Essential Skills" (Ponder) and "7 Habits" (Covey)

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Superb treatment of the subject
Review: The authors do a wonderful job of tying the science of languages and communication to the business of work and life. Filled with great examples from the world, it is easy to understand and digest.

Recommend also: "The Leader's Guide: 15 Essential Skills" (Ponder) and "7 Habits" (Covey)

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Like a mirror to see yourself in
Review: This book does for business leaders and their teams what the 7 Habits (Covey) did for individuals back in the 90s, but it goes a step forward: it's packed with case studies. I won't add to the discussion about the Seven Languages for Transformation, since my fellow reviewers have already gone into extensive detail about them. The key concept that the book left me was the idea of diving into conflicts to have them "solve" you, as opposed to running away from them or trying to solve them. The basis for this idea has to do with the learning opportunities that a conflict has to offer, and the opportunities of self-discovery to dig out blatant inconsistencies between what we say we care about and what our language and actions actually shows.

Overall, the book is a very easy read, whether you do it in order to seriously implement its suggested methodology (and it is one serious set of ideas it carries) or just as a mirror to help you laugh at your so-called professional commitments.


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