How Could You Do This to Me?

Rating:
Summary: Soul searching read!
Review: "How could you do this to me?" helped me put my thoughts in order. I had pretty much figured out what had happened in my life - why the betrayal took place, why it happened to me and where I needed to go from there. The problem was that it was all so jumbled in my head and I was so emotionally charged that nothing seemed to make sense. I have been able to search my soul, am putting my thoughts together in an orderly fashion in order to move on with my life now.

Rating:
Summary: Succinct
Review: "How could you do this to me?" helped me put my thoughts in order. I had pretty much figured out what had happened in my life - why the betrayal took place, why it happened to me and where I needed to go from there. The problem was that it was all so jumbled in my head and I was so emotionally charged that nothing seemed to make sense. I have been able to search my soul, am putting my thoughts together in an orderly fashion in order to move on with my life now.

Rating:
Summary: Provocative book that encourages introspective analysis
Review: Dr. Greer has tackled the age-old question with simple professionalism. Readers aren't distracted by flower language or psychobabble, but rather intrigued by straight-forward content that encapsulates the pain of betrayal through the stories of others. Using these stories as reference points, Dr. Greer offers her solemn advice to confronting and overcoming betrayal and even provides step-by-step behavioral analyses for readers who seek more definition. Though one might not fully agree with how Dr. Greer characterizes betrayers, it is doubtful one could walk away from the book not learning anything about themselves and those around them. This book will teach you basic communication elements and give you much needed confidence when confronting your own betrayers. You'll also be encouraged to analyze your own behavior through aggressive introspection -- you aren't merely learning to "battle" betrayers, you're learning about yourself. The key is to be open and honest while reading. Be passionate and sensitive and eventually you'll be stronger and more confident, better able to face those who hurt you ... including yourself.

Rating:
Summary: Good for anyone who has mourned a betrayal
Review: Getting over the chessy title, this book has a lot to offer to anyone in any kind of relationship where they've been betrayed. And for those of us (like myself) who have experienced betrayal once too often, it is a great help in healing. I feel better armed to cope after reading this, and hopefully that means that in the future I won't be as quickly betrayed again.

Rating:
Summary: Thank you for doing the work for ME...
Review: How could you not read this book if you have lived through any phase of a betrayal? Greer's advice is solid, practical, and accessible. She breaks it down into manageable steps and works to re-build the esteem that gets devastated by betrayal. This is a "hands on" book, and much cheaper than a counseling session.

I found that I was a little overwhelmed with all the case histories that she used to illustrate her points. Maybe it is the nature of the beast, though. I don't know how she does it. But for me, and reading this book, I feel better and closer to moving on.

You, too?

Rating:
Summary: Helps to articulate tormenting feelings
Review: I bought this book for myself and a loved one who had both been betrayed by someone we thought we could trust to the ends of the earth. It did not involve marital infidelity, but was equally crushing. One of the great problems in a situation like this is trying to find language to express the existential pain that one feels. The wrenching emotions are there, but in order to deal with them, they must first be identified, articulated and defined . This is much harder than it seems. I found the best part of this book to be the way it helped me to get my arms around the feelings, and thus help come to terms with it. The book helped clear a path to understanding, dispelling an undefinable pain, and resolving it into something rationally comprehensible.

Rating:
Summary: No Real Trust after Betrayal
Review: Once trust is broken, it is much like a glass window; it cannot be fixed. It can be taped, glued, pieced together, etc. It can never be the intact and unbroken window it once was. Some things just cannot be fixed as if they never occurred. With that in mind, the emphasis is on whether or not one wishes to fix it and why, and the decision to return a trust that is broken, decisions that always determine the value of the relationship and how deeply woven and connected it is. Recovery from broken trust (not trusts) lies in gently picking up the broken pieces, putting them in some type of order, and attempting to keep them there, an almost impossible task, and one too often for objective professionals. Success is tenuous at best, and unsatisfying at worst because both generally mourn what might have been had the trust not been broken, and the relationship unimpaired by those lingering ghosts. Most do not trust once the trust has been broken, but simulate an appearance of trust that is usually a small fraction of that which was thrown away by the deceiver, and which was forced onto the victim, by the knowledge of the deceit.

Rating:
Summary: Succinct
Review: This book says a lot with few words; it might almost require a second reading to absorb all it has to offer. It gave me insight into the motives of others and invaluable perspective on my own unconscious contributions to some of the "betrayals" I have experienced.