Honey Are You Listening?: Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and Your Marriage

Rating:
Summary: Helps Spouse Understand ADD
Review: "Honey Are You Listening?" is meant for spouses. Non-ADD partners in a relation are forced to live with the seemingly unorthodox lifestyle and perspective of an ADD person. The Fowlers relate through their experience (he's ADD, she's not) the challenges, followed by their suggestions. It is worth reading.

It is marketed toward a Christian audience, but other than a few "Praise God's," a few mentions about church, and a couple of minor allusions to applied theology, it is really just a book of ideas for helping manage married life. No one will find themselves offended by the religious statements; they are innocuous.

The ideas and discussion are great: Ironclad budgets, how to study, lifestyle organization, communication tips, anger management, understanding impulsivity, and children. It's strength is in communicating that there are solutions and processes for a successful marriage despite ADD.

Filled with anecdotes, a spouse might sigh in relief, recognizing that his or her problems are not unique, and that these issues are not just within their marriage, but occur commonly in an ADD/non-ADD marriage. These vignettes can bring hope to a harried reader.

Where the book is weakest is when the writing becomes cliche and cute, and begins to sound like a seminar. All the chapters begin with 'ADD---' as in 'ADDmitting Anger' and 'ADDvancing Through School'. If you've ever read any literature on ADD, you've heard this and the tales of the distracted, goofy husband. Taking the book seriously when it doesn't is not easy, and it takes away from the good sense the writers describe throughout.

For the reader looking to learn about ADD for the first time, this isn't your book. Read "Driven to Distraction" first, and then come to this one. It isn't too deep so much as it helps to have more grounding in what ADD is.

I recommend "Honey Are You Listening?" by Rick and Jerilyn Fowler. As the spouse understands ADD more, it will help love and a loving marriage flourish. The ADD spouse will feel more support and strength, and a little less alone.

Anthony Trendl