Dancing Naked in Front of the Fridge: And Other Lessons from Twins

Rating:
Summary: Non-twins definitely can learn a few things from twins.
Review: As a non-twin, I began reading Dancing NakedŠ (given to me by a twin friend) with low expectations. Surprisingly, I thoroughly enjoyed this well-written book. I am now far more aware of the special bond between twins and I will never look at my twin friends in the same way again. I also thank Ms & Ms Sipes for providing me with valuable insight into relationships of all kinds. Non-twins definitely can learn a few things from twins.

Rating:
Summary: Over depentent authors' offer poor views of being twins
Review: Being a twin myself I was looking forward to reading this book co-written by twins, however I was greatly disappointed by the time I finished. The obvious emotional growth problems the authors' had while growing up has caused them to give a skewed view of how twins react to each other and those around them. While being a twin does create a special bond for the two involved the authors forces tales of how being a twin can ruin marriages or other relationships. They lead you to believe that twins will never succeed on their own and that they remain dependent on each other forever. Their lack of research only offered one set of twins that liked being apart, thus they supported their own views. Although one of the authors has her PH.D, no real research was ever done, only surveys. I hope those who read this realize that not all twins grow up still connected by the umbilical cord and that twins can thrive on their own. I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone unless they have a table with one shortened leg on it.

Rating:
Summary: Great guide for parents of twins
Review: Being the mother of twins, I am glad to read a book that lets me see what is happening inside the twin relationship. My twins are often in their own world and this book has helped me see what it's like in there! "Dancing Naked" is very informative, yet entertaining. I think all parents of twins should read it - - you'll learn some surprising things about twins.

Rating:
Summary: Over depentent authors' offer poor views of being twins
Review: First the good news: This book has something new and interesting to offer. It broadly addresses the question of "What is it like to be a twin?" on very human terms. You won't find much about biology ("then the egg splits...") or statistics ("twins are 300% more likely to..."), which are adequately represented in many other publications. You *will* find out how certain sets of twins *feel* about different aspects of their twinship, and the feelings these twins reveal go far beyond "we hated being dressed alike." As such, the book provides an interesting and intimate view of what it might be like to be a twin (I'm not), and definitely added to what I (thought I) knew about the subject. I think that twins might also find in the book some equally revealing facets of twinship (and perceptions of twins) that they themselves haven't personally experienced or cognized. (But what would I know?)

Next the bad news: The authors both have advanced degrees, and one has a Ph.D. in a hard science. And if there is one hallmark of science, it is skepticism. Yet you will find very little of it in this book. First of all, the "research" to which the authors continuously make reference is, as far as I can tell, strictly of the journalistic variety. There are no citations to published scholarly work, nor is there a bibliography. But, hey, what could be better than anecdotal evidence?

But that's not the worst. Rationality takes its leave entirely at Chapter 6, "Twincidence," where the authors rush headlong into psychic la-la land. I offer some samples:

"We challenge twins to start paying closer attention to those feelings, sensations, and intuitions that are shared with their twins--such flashes are probably signaling a connection with their twins that has yet to be harnessed and cultivated. Personally, once we started looking for twincidences in our lives, they magically appeared, practically around every corner." (p.128)

It's almost as though the authors are *encouraging* the selection bias that infects all anecdotal reports of psychic phenomena. I would expect far more from anyone who has even rudimentary training in statistics.

Here's another one:

"...we suggest that perhaps there are no real coincidences--that all events happen to us for a reason. It is merely our job to pay attention to the meaning these incidents have for us as individuals." (p.130)

Now this is really fine sermon material, and it makes me feel suitably tingly all over, but is this the kind of statement that a scientist should be making without qualification or support? When scientists feel the need to wax spiritual (which is certainly their right), I think they would do well to explicitly state that they are making these assertions based on their own intuitions, and not on the basis of scientific study.

Here's one more:

"Twins are not an accident. The power that created them is omnipotent...Each one of us has a purpose, but twins are blessed with also having a dual life purpose. Let's face it, if it didn't have unique meaning, everyone would be a twin." (p.213)

Wow, this has all the circularity of medieval theology. Impressive, but not what I would expect from a scientifically-trained mind.

In summary, if you like touchy-feely and are prepared to drop your skeptical defences, you may enjoy and benefit from this book. My copy will be in the Brookline library.