How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide For Adults

Rating:
Summary: Varied responses to death of a parent
Review: Although not as good as Therese Rando's HOW TO GO ON LIVING WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE DIES, this is good in presenting a wide variety of responses to the death of a parent. I think a key here is recognizing that there is not just one "proper" response to the death of a parent, but that a wide variety of responses are possible and appropriate. The format of a therapy group allows the presentation of different responses and different weays of working through grief. I think the reviewer from Hawaii who criticzed this book was looking too much for something to mirror her own experiences, instead of accepting this simply as the presentation of a range of exeperiences none of which may necessarily mirror what one feels oneself. As with the book by Rando, I found this most useful simply because it said to me that I shouldn't necessarily have the same experiences others would have or have had.

Rating:
Summary: Varied responses to death of a parent
Review: Having lost both my parents in the span of the last three years, this book touched on many important points on the stuff you really go through. It's not the answer but is useful in giving a general roadmap and tools of recovering from what is without a doubt the toughest experience in life.

Rating:
Summary: More helpful books are out there.
Review: I agree with the other reviewers, especially in that it does not spend a lot of time providing "answers"; the title is definitely misleading. A far better and more sensitive book is by Alexander Levy, "The Orphaned Adult". Please read it even if if you have a surviving parent.

Rating:
Summary: What to expect, not what to do about it
Review: This was the first book that I bought after my father died. At this writing, I'm a 28 year old female with a surviving mother and brother. My mother was the one to go to group councelling, but being a private person, I felt otherwise and sought solice in a book. Boy, did I end up in a "group" with this book. Basically, the book is pretty much written about a group going through "death therapy" and all of their different experiences and reactions. Granted, I could relate with some of them and discovered that some reactions of my own and my family was normal, but the frustrating thing was trying to understand how to handle them. I kept saying to myself: "Okay, I know that's happening, but what do I do?" In other words, I unfortunately did not find much comfort within this book as it really gave me no answers. Whereas the author claims to her group in the beginning: "You're coming into this group, but don't expect results" seems like a cop-out. Why on earth did I buy this book if I wasn't looking for answers? Isn't that the point? Unfortunately, it read like snippets of novels about these people's lives and really didn't give much more information than what they were going through. It was only until the last chapter (roughly 10 pages out of 236 to be precise, that the author gives 10 paragraphs on how to handle a loss. Then why did it take 226 to get to what I wanted?) I was uncomfortable with the book from the beginning. In fact, throughout most of the book I found it unbearable. Reading the tragic things these people went through really did nothing but depress me. Whether it was reading on how they were fighting, or sleepless nights crying or how family feuds got downright nasty over inheritance, it took me six months to get through the whole thing. I was seeking comfort -- not looking for people "just like me." It seemed more of a pity party than help. I wanted to make progress, not reflect on anger and sadness. I don't recommend this book if you've recently suffered a loss. I'm afraid that it didn't give much comfort to me and I will probably toss my copy. It's not very spiritual, and I found it more to tout how great the author was as a psychologist than a genuine benefit to the bereaved. I recommend you shop around or seek out councelling through your funeral home or church (either or usually know of support groups.) This book really didn't do much for me at all and I won't be recommending it.