Dancing in the Dark : The Shadow Side of Intimate Relationships

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Summary: This book spoke directly to the stuggles I have faced.
Review: As I read Doug and Naomi Moseley's book, I couldn't believe it! It was as if it was written about me. The interactions they decribed between couples switching from the mother/son to the father/daughter roles describes exactly what I have faced and been so frustrated with but also have felt powerless to change. At one point, they talked about relationship behaviors among people who are forced into adult/caretaker roles at a very young age. This serves them well in the first half of their life because they are responsible, caretakers, and it is easy to attract memberm of the opposite sex who want a mother or father (or son or daughter)in a lover. In the second half of their life, however, this becomes frustrating if they are the kind of person who wants MORE from a relationship. Most importantly, Doug and Naomi offer hope that we can move beyond these ingrained patterns and into a truly integrated, adult relationship. I can only hope there is no shortage of men seeking this as well

Rating:
Summary: This book spoke directly to the stuggles I have faced.
Review: As I read Doug and Naomi Moseley's book, I couldn't believe it! It was as if it was written about me. The interactions they decribed between couples switching from the mother/son to the father/daughter roles describes exactly what I have faced and been so frustrated with but also have felt powerless to change. At one point, they talked about relationship behaviors among people who are forced into adult/caretaker roles at a very young age. This serves them well in the first half of their life because they are responsible, caretakers, and it is easy to attract memberm of the opposite sex who want a mother or father (or son or daughter)in a lover. In the second half of their life, however, this becomes frustrating if they are the kind of person who wants MORE from a relationship. Most importantly, Doug and Naomi offer hope that we can move beyond these ingrained patterns and into a truly integrated, adult relationship. I can only hope there is no shortage of men seeking this as well

Rating:
Summary: This book offers realistic and practical help.
Review: Dancing in the Dark is a realistic and helpful guide to having a better relationship. The Moseleys present real-life scenarios that helped me clearly see the patterns of behavior that I unconsciously enact in similar situations. I had no idea that so many of my relationship issues were so common among others. What's so great about this book is it not only helps you become aware of your own behaviors that can lead to the downfall of a marriage, but gives you the tools to change them. I have also participated in the Moseleys' workshops where they bring to life the concepts from this book. They have taught me powerful methods of communicating with others and how to be honest with myself --- practical tools that have changed my life. This book is highly recommended.

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Summary: amazing
Review: I bought this book to read as I crossed Canada in a car with a female friend. We read this book out loud to each other as we did this journey. What I find so amazing is how accurately they discribed my relationship with my husband. We have just seperated after a 33 years. I wanted to grown up and have a relationship with an grown up. So often I felt like he was my sone. He would tell me he felt like he was living with his sister! Long story, but we are now seperated. This book has given me the aswers to why and how, instead of just feeling like maybe I was crazy. As the two of us read this book, we also see how we use these patterns with everyone who we have a relationship with. Not just the male/female things.

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Summary: Eye-opener!
Review: I was introduced to the Moseley's work and book over 7 years ago. They opened my eyes to the patterns that live in us all. Those powerful patterns appear to pursue us relentlessly and many of them do not have our best intentions at heart! Getting acquainted with them moved my life forward , even to writing my own book which I called THE NAKED THERAPIST. The Moseley's work got me there! Thank you. And I recommend this book for those courageous enough to face life on life's terms.

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Summary: Dancing in the Dark: The Shadow Side of Intimate Relationshi
Review: I would give "Dancing In The Dark" 4 stars, and Douglas and Naomi Moseley's new book, "The Shadow Side of Intimate Relationships" 4.5 stars, except for one thing. The books are the same, with some new material. Much of the new book is word-for-word identical to the old book, page after page. Nowhere does the publisher say this - not on the front cover, on the back cover, or in the introduction. Instead, the publisher seems to have tried to trick readers who bought the first book into buying the second book. An honest publisher would have called the new book "2nd edition" or "Revised edition". I encourage authors to revise and improve their old books, but not to trick readers into thinking they've written an entirely new book.
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Review by Thomas David Kehoe, author of "Hearts and Minds: How Our Brains Are Hardwired for Relationships"

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Summary: Finally, the WHOLE picture.....
Review: My 20-yr marriage ended when I uncovered my husband's secret life. It was easy to blame him for everything, and to refuse to see my part in the "dance." During this horrible three years, I read everything from serious psychology, to all of John Gray (Mars/Venus), to various big titles on divorce and betrayal -- plus sat through countless hours of expensive therapy. This book explained more about what was really going on in my marriage than all of the above combined! It is so refreshing to read a book where the "experts" get out of the ivory tower and talk honestly about their own mistakes and imperfections. If you want fluff and fairy tales, avoid this book. But if you are ready to understand the complicated dynamics of intimate relationships in unique and exciting new ways, read this book. It will change your life.

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Summary: Very helpful in uncovering deeper dynamics of relationships
Review: This book shed light on patterns that I have been acting out but couldn't see with an objective perspective, particularly the parent/child dynamic. I am sure that I will be noticing these patterns much sooner now. This book also provided significant insight into how I have been sabotaging relationships by my aversion to anger and how this has restricted the flow of energy in my life. While no book can fix anything, this one sure has me exploring parts of myself that I wasn't looking at earlier. Maybe I will be a better dance partner now.

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Summary: Dancing in the Dark: The Shadow Side of Intimate Relationshi
Review: This is NOT a clinical book. I found I lost interest after a few pages, and also after browsing the chapters. The Moseleys talk about their relationship ad nauseum, and generalize these tales to their readers. Sorry folks, regurgitating your own path does not help most people, but it does sway them to buy books...

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Summary: This book offers realistic and practical help.
Review: This outstanding book elucidates with breathtaking precision and clarity the aspects of our relationships that none of us wants to look at - the struggles for power and control, the attempts to avoid experiencing our own feelings of helplessness and inadequacy at all costs, and the ways we unconsciously use our partners, children, and parents to achieve these dubious and nefarious ends. It gives the best explanation I've seen as to why marriages lose their essential juicy vitality and evolve (or devolve) into brother-and-sister or best-friends sorts of arrangements. Finally, it gives clear and practical suggestions as to exactly what a couple can do to create and maintain true adult intimacy, including some very original and helpful suggestions about expressing anger cleanly and effectively. If you want to stay asleep in your illusions, stay away from this book!