How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty : And Say Yes to More Time, and What Matters Most to You

Rating:
Summary: One of the most useful books I have read
Review: Good information, which is why I gave it a rating of three stars, however the language used in this publication indicates that it's main target audience is women. The constant references to "the demanding boyfriend" or other negative comments directed towards males in general really limits the appeal to this book. There are men who need the contents of this book just as much as there are women. However, the language used excludes that audience base. Too bad. The book seems to promote the attitude that it is the women who are all "mousey" and in need of saying "no", and that all men are aggressive and pushy. I don't know if this was what the authors think, but it was what they communicated. Other than that, their opinions as to when it is OK to lie to someone, and not OK to lie, leaves alot to be desired. If sparing other peoples feelings are the basis of whether or not to lie, that is just as bad for the speaker (now liar) as having to say "yes" when the speaker doesn't want to. Most people have a problem saying "no" because they don't want to become liars, nor do they want to hurt feelings. Lying either is OK or its not, forget the circumstances. Learning to say "no" shouldn't mean you option to become a liar instead of a mouse, it should be about how to truely speak your mind, which is what I hoped I'd find here. Again, too bad. You can enjoy this book, but only with a pound of salt.

Rating:
Summary: Yes or No Quiz
Review: Here's a simple quiz to determine if this book is for you. Answer Yes or No to the following 2 questions, which are situations used in the book.

Question #1 - You are asked to go out on a date with someone that you find unattractive and do not wish to go out with them. You should not just tell them No, but also tell them that you are seeing someone else to show "mercy" on them? Yes or No (The book refers to this as a "face savings" technique.)

Question #2 - Your 6 year old child likes chocolate covered cereal, but you want them to eat something more nutritious. When at the grocery store with your child you should avoid the cereal isle and come back to get cereal another time, thus avoiding the need to say no? Yes or No (The book refers to this as a "prevention" technique.)

If you answered Yes to either question, you will probably agree with the suggestions in this book. However, you are lacking a moral compass and/or are so spineless that a 6 year old can walk all over you. Face the fact that there probably isn't any book that will help you, and this one will only continue to feed your lack of character and self confidence.

If you answered No to both questions, you know more about "saying no" than you can get from this book. Buying this book would only infuriate you as it is filled with excuses, trickery and deceptions. All of which lead to the guilt that the book is supposed to help you avoid.

Rating:
Summary: Yes or No Quiz
Review: I attended a class that Patti Breitman and Connie Hatch gave in New York, and I just finished reading "How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty". This is a really valuable book, written by two people who are clearly committed to providing important infomation that can be used every day. The book is concise and practical, and is written in a supportive way. It is infused with a sense of ethics that is critical to the subject. It's often very difficult to say no, and to do it in a way that protects the feelings of everyone involved can be very tricky. The authors provide example after example of how to maneuver through this minefield. I highly recommend this book--it has value for virtually everyone, and is a thoughtful and caring gift. Midway through reading "How to Say No...", I gave several copies to some very appreciative friends and relatives. Thank you, Patti Breitman and Connie Hatch, for writing such an important book.

Rating:
Summary: Excellent advice for anyone who wants more from life!
Review: I found this book to be an insightful guide to getting more of what you really want in life in a way that reinforces your commitment to yourself. The authors suggestions are thoughtful and well presented. The section on identifing and manifesting what it is you really want, gives the reader a powerful set of tools that can be used in many aspects of life. With practice and patience, I believe that learning to say no at the appropriate times can be a self satisfying experience. There is a plethra of humor along with genuine sensitivity in dealing with this subject matter in many situations. I would recommend this to people from all different walks of life. If you are able to make use of even one of the suggestions in this book, you will have opened yourself up a little more to finding what truly makes you happy and making the time for it in your life. Take what you need and leave the rest. This book is full of great ideas and is one to refer to again and again!

Rating:
Summary: Excellent advice for anyone who wants more from life!
Review: Romance, Work, Money, Kids, and Friends. In each of these critical areas of our lives, Patti Breitman and Connie Hatch offer nugget after nugget of practical advice on how to say no when we feel it is necessary, without endangering a future of possibilities with the people we care most about. On a recent airplane trip, the gentleman seated next to me, upon seeing the title, said he needed to get this book for a friend (male) of his. You can't do better than that - the authors have struck a responsive chord with many of us.

Rating:
Summary: This book set me free
Review: Thank you, Patti Breitman and Connie Hatch, for giving me the techniques to say no and have more control over my life. Your techniques have given me more time, more space, more efficiency. And your suggestions are simple and non-affected. I didn't have to learn a "system"; I just got to pick from some excellent ideas that work for me.

Rating:
Summary: Amazingly helpful book
Review: This book is packed with suggestions and guidance to help learn to stop doing things you don't want to do and start doing the things you do want to do. In a society as sick with codependence as ours is, it's not an easy thing to do -- we've got all kinds of bizarre notions about being polite, being aggreeable, etc. So it takes a lot of effort, learning, and practice to break free. This book shows you how. Additionally, the writing is very good, and the authors have a weird sense of humor that makes their examples just delightful!