Rating: 
Summary: Good but not Berg's best
Review: I've read all of Elizabeth's Berg's novels, and while this one is good, I know she can do better! I was riveted to the story, but put off by all the descriptions of the characters' clothing. Isn't that the first thing you learn in writing classes? Skip the eye color and find something more insightful that what color shirt the character is wearing! Otherwise, it was an enjoyable read, although not as "meaty" as her other work. I found the man's point-of-view refreshing, and I enjoyed learning what Santas think behind the beard. The daughter's character was very annoying. She acted like a 3-year-old in some scenes, then like a pre-teen in others. Still, I love Berg's writing and would recommend this book to anyone who feels the same.
Rating: 
Summary: Great read
Review: If you think you've read all the novels you can about family and divorce, think again. Ms. Berg manages to tell the unfolding story of a couple dealing with separation, and does so with her usual talent. I especially liked their daughter Zoe's part in the story, I loved their conversations and her reactions. This was definitely a refreshing perspective on the topic and a great read.
Rating:
Summary: This one hits close to home...
Review: Not in my own marriage- but with several friends' marriages. When did they start drawing apart, one becomes complacent with how things are while the other wants more- "the way it use to be with them"...? Griffin wakes up to his wife wanting a divorce. She has found someone who makes her feel important and young again while Griffin goes about his routine. That's just it- it is all routine, taken for granted. Now Griffin is faced with possible life without his wife, Ellen and his eight-year old, Zoe and starting over again - or renewing his relationship with Ellen, getting that spark back.The story is told through the eyes of the husband, Griffin- which is different and very touching. It doesn't take long for Griffin to decide that separation is NOT what he wants and that he is going to "fight" for what is his. He refuses to move out forcing Ellen to live as roommates in the same house. She continues to see the other person while coming home to Griffin waiting up for her. Things are just too difficult at home so Ellen moves her and Zoe to an apartment, getting a taste of what it's like without Griffin being there. It's not like it's suppose to be for Ellen while Griffin tries to date a little and finds out that his feelings for Ellen are still strong and this just isn't right. It's a good story - will Griffin be able to convince Ellen that they can have the feelings that use to be there without giving up what they have now. Ellen finds out that "the grass is not always green on the other side of the fence." Zoe plays an important part as well. She has difficulty coping with what is happening to her family that she has always been able to rely on being together up to now. I like what another review said about it being an "endearing and honest book." I agree.
Rating:
Summary: 3 1/2 Stars: Show Me
Review: People sometimes marry someone who reminds them of their father or mother. This is not a problem I would think if for one thing said parent was a good person and secondly once married you didn't fall back into the parent/child relationship with your partner.
Unfortunately for Ellen in Elizabeth Berg's "Say When," she does. It is obvious that her relationship with Griffin is one of parent/child and not husband and wife. Because Griffin is conducive and receptive to this kind of relationship, he also falls into it head first, but unlike Ellen with his eyes open: "...he'd been waiting for something like this to happen. She was always just beyond his grasp, in one-way or another. He supposed that her cool reserve was one of the things that attracted him to her."
Isn't it funny that we sometimes, somehow get hooked up with the worst possible person for us and that, taking it to the ultimate degree fall in love and even marry him or her? It's as if all your radar is shut down for a period of time and when it is turned on again you wonder, "How did I ever get involved with this person?"
Despite the fact that Griffin is basically a good person, Ellen's radar flips back on and she decides to leave him and her child to sort out her life and to become a responsible adult: "...it's important that for once in my life, I take care of myself," she says. Griffin, like most men in this situation had not seen any signs, noticed anything unusual and when he takes to rifling through her desk for evidence he finds nothing: "It was all inside her, in the ways she'd changed. Little things-or perhaps not-so-little-things-that he simply ignored."
Unfortunately, "Say When" loses steam about 2/3 of the way through and Griffin and Ellen's situation becomes tiresome. And whereas, in the sublime "Never Change" and the humane "True to Form," Berg is at the top of her form, the prose here seems forced and ultimately common and boring: we stop caring about Griffin and Ellen.
Berg has fashioned a career detailing with and wisely commenting on relationships gone bad and exposing and expiating unfulfilled dreams. And she has done it with style and grace. "Say When" is not Berg at her best but nonetheless, there are still moments of such truth and honesty as to make you gasp with recognition and nod in assent.
Rating:
Summary: There is beauty in simplicity...
Review: That's what Elizabeth Berg does best. She takes the mundane things in life, the normalcy, and she changes it around, to help us remember what we saw once, as well. In this new book, Say When, it opens with a wife and husband, Griffin and Ellen, where the husband has found out that his wife is in love with someone else, and she wants to leave him. To me, this is news enough, because I always feel as though Im reading about the husband doing this to the wife. Needless to say, Griffin is not happy with the separation. He seems to be a character who is happier when married. The twist on it is, is that no one wants to leave the house. The one thing that they seem to have in common, is the great love they have for their eight year old daughter, Zoe. From then on, they try to reside in the same household peacefully, but, instead, they have much anger and resentment toward one another. I noticed that Griffin, like many others in relationships, thought that everyone was happy and satisfied. Instead, he never realized how unhappily married she had become. She used a great metaphor, "I think our marriage was like a house we stopped using. I mean, you know, you move in, and there are all these terrific rooms, .... and you end up being in the same two rooms all the time... We got swallowed up by a domestic routine that didn't leave room for us as the individuals we are." I think the good thing about Griffin, was that he found satisfaction within himself, so that, if she ever did come back, he would know that he was being with her for the right reasons, not because he didn't want to be alone. There is a lot of deconstruction of people and what keeps them togther and pulls them apart. There are a lot of memories and nostalgia so you get to know who you are reading about, wonderful descriptions of people so you feel you can see them, and it was a very quick read. Highly recommended.
Rating:
Summary: Berg doing what she does best
Review: This is a somewhat unusual book. What might normally be told from the wife's point of view: her feelings of unappreciation, feeling suffocated, needing out, etc., is all told from the point of view of the husband. For most of the book, I didn't like Ellen at all. I thought she was a jerk and wanted Griffen to get on with his life. Berg is not that simple though. She lets the reader see--as Griffen sees, and not before--that he is equally at fault for what's going on here. As the book comes to fruition, the reader is left thinking how easily this can happen in a marriage. And how it can sometimes be to NAME what our wrong is and to communicate that in a way that is not going to turn our partner away, but instead make them truly understand. You put down the book and think, hmmm.. And what would have happened if Griffen had moved out as Ellen asked? Which is what normally happens in these scenarios. Interesting book.
Rating:
Summary: Disappointing
Review: This was a fascinating book in many ways. I love Berg's writing and I liked many things about this book, but I couldn't rate it higher because I didn't believe in these people. I liked Frank and I felt bad for him, but I wanted to smack him for allowing Ellen to indulge her immature behavior. And I wanted to shake her for being so immature and self-centered and selfish. On the plus side, even a less-than-wonderful book by Berg is better than the best other writers can produce. Still, I'd recommend waiting for the paperback before plunking down a big chunk of cash for the hardcover.
Rating:
Summary: Just wish that I had liked Ellen....
Review: When Ellen has an affair and wants a divorce, Griffin is (dishonestly) surprised. Zoe, the pampered and loved child is all that matters any more. As the marriage unravels at the seams, the reader is permitted insight into the whys and hows this came to be: "the catalogue of intentional slights, his moments of soft cruelty, his awareness of complicity in creating a relationship that could not work". An unsympathetic wife who is shy and difficult to know, a husband who is passively content and unwilling to see his own lack of contribution. When Griffin refuses to move, the marriage moves on to a "roommate: situation and the two alternate nights out. Ellen goes to her lover and Griffin finds himself employed as Santa and having a couple of dates. Watching lives spiral off and become unrecognizable, the hindsight required to see what really was good and what might not have been - the early contentedness moving onto complacency and becoming contempt. Ms. Berg paints a multilayered picture in this sadly compelling insight of what really does go wrong.
Rating: 
Summary: Pathology of a Marriage
Review: When Ellen has an affair and wants a divorce, Griffin is (dishonestly) surprised. Zoe, the pampered and loved child is all that matters any more. As the marriage unravels at the seams, the reader is permitted insight into the whys and hows this came to be: "the catalogue of intentional slights, his moments of soft cruelty, his awareness of complicity in creating a relationship that could not work". An unsympathetic wife who is shy and difficult to know, a husband who is passively content and unwilling to see his own lack of contribution. When Griffin refuses to move, the marriage moves on to a "roommate: situation and the two alternate nights out. Ellen goes to her lover and Griffin finds himself employed as Santa and having a couple of dates. Watching lives spiral off and become unrecognizable, the hindsight required to see what really was good and what might not have been - the early contentedness moving onto complacency and becoming contempt. Ms. Berg paints a multilayered picture in this sadly compelling insight of what really does go wrong.
Rating:
Summary: A Wise, Wonderful and Bittersweet Novel
Review: When Frank Griffin learns his wife Ellen is having an affair, he feels his marriage begin to dissolve. And when Ellen says she wants a divorce, his whole world starts to fall apart. Griffin's struggle to save his marriage and his realizations of his role in its demise are at the center of Elizabeth Berg's latest novel, SAY WHEN. Griffin and Ellen seem to have it all: a home in the suburbs, a beautiful and smart daughter, and a relationship that has lasted. Still, Griffin's suspicions of his wife's new relationship are confirmed, and he must call into question his marriage and his emotional history with Ellen in order to secure their future together. Neither Ellen nor Griffin is initially willing to leave their home or their daughter. So the two live for a time as roommates, even as Ellen continues to see her lover. Griffin is torn between his need for Ellen and wanting her back, and his anger and loneliness that drive him to begin a relationship of his own. Griffin's daughter Zoe is a source of comfort to him in the midst of marital turbulence. She is a wise little tomboy who reacts to the turmoil (as well as social pressure) by both pulling away from her parents and exploring her femininity. In Zoe, Ellen and Griffin have a gauge for their relationship and their emotions. Griffin is also grounded by his seasonal job as a shopping mall Santa Claus. Working as Santa turns out to be an unexpected and much needed distraction, besides being a simple and effective way to put his life in perspective. After Ellen finally moves into a place of her own, Griffin is stuck with the emptiness she leaves behind. He is also left to try to understand the things she has told him about his treatment of her over the years. Griffin begins to see his role in Ellen's leaving and starts to reevaluate their relationship and his feelings for her. Just as Griffin starts to get comfortable with the idea of Ellen being gone for good, he rallies one last time to win her back. It is possible that, just as they told Zoe, Ellen will be back for Christmas. SAY WHEN is not a long novel; in fact it is concise and conservative with its words. But the emotional life of Griffin, caught at this moment of crisis and reflection, is powerful nonetheless. Berg's prose is deceptively simple, neatly packaging a complicated story. Griffin is an undeniably real character; he is written with honesty and integrity, yet his flaws are large, many and important. Zoe, too, is an interesting and realistic character. Ellen is harder to understand; she is complex, sad and just as confused as Griffin. Because the story is written from Griffin's perspective, Ellen is harder to understand and relate to. She is elusive to the reader perhaps because, despite what he says, she remains elusive to Griffin. Capturing the nuances, the hope and the frustration of a marriage in trouble, Berg has written a wise, wonderful and bittersweet novel that raises many questions about love and relationships. Griffin is, in many ways, an everyman. We know Griffin and relate to him and really want this marriage to work. Incredibly insightful, SAY WHEN is a novel unafraid to explore issues of modern marriage, and the fantasies and realities of love and intimacy. --- Reviewed by Sarah Rachel Egelman
|
