Mr. Paradise

Rating:
Summary: Mr. Paradise¿ is a Reader¿s Purgatory
Review: Martin Amis has likened Elmore Leonard to Charles Dickens, but I doubt "Mr. Paradise" was the book to spawn the comparison. Leonard's writing can range from hilarious to just-plain cool, but in his latest novel he seems content to alternate between boring and forced. Leonard's prose is snappy as always, but it's like a high school kid who knows how to mix a good martini-you can't help but admire the facility, but something seems to be missing.... What's mostly missing in "Mr. Paradise" is a plot.

In fact, the plot is so stripped down that I can hardly even gloss it here, for fear of spoiling it-suffice it to say there are two very desirable, shallow, and available young woman, an identity switch, a murder, and a hard-boiled, widowed, sensitive-on-the-inside-cop...wait, wait. I may have already said too much.

Leonard's characterizations (which, at times in the past, have been cuttingly sharp) are deader on the page here than the book's corpus delicti (one of the aforementioned women whose identity is switched, said switching being, as a plot maneuver, incredibly facile, but as a make-the-reader-confused maneuver it works wonders-the two women are entirely indistinguishable in character and affect (actually, this stays pretty much the same even after one of them is dead). Maybe Leonard is making a trenchant critique of the interchangeability spawned by our consumer culture, but somehow I doubt it. If so, how come the reeking-of-authorial-avatar cop falls so hard for one? (No you dirty birds, not the dead one! (although, come to think of it, that would have gone a long way toward jazzing up the plot).

Couple all that with the fact that Elmore Leonard, while he maybe has a handle on cop culture (though I kind of doubt it) just doesn't sound right throwing around terms like "do rag" (neither, in case you're worried I'm getting confused about authorial intent, does his main character). The following conversation, between supposedly-very-dangerous bad guy Montel and fiery-but-cool young Kelley made me cringe in the way I cringe when my parents say "cool."

"We're both in style, huh?" (he) pulled the legs of his pants out to each side. "Diesel, one twenty-nine." Kelley pulled the legs of her pants to each side and said "Catherine Malandrino, six-seventy-five. But yours aren't bad." (162)

Would even the most fashionable foes really compare pants-price during a high-tension face-off? Maybe not, but it sure sounds cool, doesn't it? In the end, Leonard overdoes it in the smooth department. What's all that smoothness hiding, anyway? Maybe the fact that he's used up all his effective gags, and he's flat out of inspiration.

Rating:
Summary: Forgettable Leonard
Review: Over the years I've read a few Elmore Leonard stories and I've noticed a fair bit of inconsistency in quality. This isn't a huge surprise considering the sheer number of books he's written, there are inevitably going to be some good 'uns and some bad 'uns. The good ones (such as FREAKY DEAKY and OUT OF SIGHT) have been excellent, quirky hardboiled stories that are very memorable mainly due to the off-beat characters and unexpected twists that keep you off balance. Then there are the not so good ones that are noticeable due to their instant forget-ability. MR PARADISE falls into the second category.

Tony Paradiso, called Mr Paradise by his two employees, is an eighty-four year old millionaire who enjoyed watching taped Michigan University football games (their wins only) while cheerleaders performed topless next to the television. All harmless fun and he paid well.

His favourite cheerleader is a high priced call girl named Chloe. She's so favoured that he has promised to look after her with a little present when he dies. One evening Paradiso requests an impromptu performance from Chloe, but he insists that he wants two cheerleaders, not just one. So Chloe talks her room-mate, a fashion model named Kelly, into joining them for the night.

The timing was poor for Chloe and Kelly because it just so happens that Paradiso's right-hand man, Montez Taylor had ordered a hit on his boss for that night. Even worse luck for Chloe because she gets caught up in the hit and is taken out along with Paradiso.

Montez Taylor is one of those typical Elmore Leonard characters who comes up with the most outlandish of plans and then sells it well enough to seem plausible - right up until the moment it fails dismally. You see, Chloe wasn't supposed to die. Montez was planning on sharing in her windfall after she claimed it. So a quick change of plans is required. He convinces Kelly to pretend that she's Chloe, sell it to the police and claim the "inheritance" for them.

The flimsiness of his plan is not the only thing working against Montez. The other fly in his ointment comes in the form of the team performing the hit. Art and Carl are a couple of fifty year old hoods who were introduced to the hit man business by their lawyer. Their stupidity is only matched by their ruthlessness. Making no effort to hide their tracks after each job, the only mystery surrounding them is how on earth they managed to stay out of prison for so long.

Frank Delsa is the detective working the case and the eventual protagonist who is faced with Montez's preposterous story. As a character, he is the most normal character in the book and acts as the straight man to the bunch of idiot criminals who are trying to out-think him. His cool, calm thinking was an excellent counterpoint to that of the bad guys. The only downside to the Delsa character is a very unlikely, very clichéd romance that Leonard involved him in. I felt it was out of place and ended up serving no real purpose. I thought he would be a stronger character if he were left on his own.

It's really surprising that this book actually dragged out beyond the 300 page mark. There really isn't a lot to the story and, once the initial premise has been set up, there is only one logical conclusion and that's exactly the way it pans out.

I've enjoyed Elmore Leonard's books in the past, not only for the gritty storylines that provide more than their fair share of surprises but also for the off-beat humour that manages to make the characters just skewed enough to be amusing rather than straight out scary. I found MR PARADISE lacked any of the qualities that would make it more than a moderately interesting story.

Rating:
Summary: Big fun!
Review: Shady characters, brilliant dialogue, irony, masterful writing and a lively and humorous story line are what we expect from Elmore Leonard. "Mr. Paradise," a Runyonesque tale, has all this and more...it does not disappoint.

Eighty-four year old retired mob lawyer Tony Paradisio's favorite pastime is watching tapes of classic Michigan football victories with an escort or two cheering topless in ways not athletically encouraging.

After learning that he has been eliminated from Mr. Paradise's will, Montez (Mr. P's main man) arranges a hit that is supposed to look like a home invasion gone wrong.

The perps and Montez are members of the criminal mindless.

Throw in two corpses, a Victoria Secret model witness, an identity switch, assorted lowlifes, a safe deposit box full of loot, the hitmen's "agent" and Frank Delsa (a resourceful Detroit homicide detective)---and the chase is on.

The bad guys feel a sense of entitlement---leading to their demise. Getting caught being the real crime. Double-crosses, scams and deceptions propel the plot.

The tight prose is filled with accurate conversation in the colorful vernacular of the urban scene.

"Mr. Paradise" is a stylistic, unforgettable, witty, fast-paced read. Elmore Leonard is a consistently entertaining writer---do not under rate him just because you like him.