The Death You Deserve: A Novel

Rating:
Summary: Read this hilarious book for the time of your life!
Review: British author David Bowker, formerly of Manchester, gives an American readership a first glimpse of his incredible wit in THE DEATH YOU DESERVE. His fifth novel tells the story of Billy Dye, a failed horror writer. Billy's girlfriend has left him. His novel draws no reviews and, thus, no sales. He does interview a local gangster, Malcolm Priest, for a magazine article. Based on a diluted version of the story Billy has written, Priest hires him to become his biographer. Billy's troubles begin for real at this point.

Billy's character is the ultimate "loser." He wades into predicaments that should teach him lessons about the human psyche, but Billy manages to sink deeper into the muck of his own making via his acid tongue. He is soon put at the top of Priest's "hit list." Rawhead is the hitman hired to eradicate Billy, who soon finds himself kidnapped and held in a manner of protective custody. It turns out that Rawhead is a childhood friend from grammar school who had idolized Billy.

Bowker's wit is hilarious. His characters are real yet side-splittingly funny. Rawhead's many-sided character is a hoot to follow. He is both a professional killer and a student of supernatural literature classics, with an extensive collection of signed first editions. Billy is both impressed with and frightened of him. The two unlikely companions are knit by a tighter cord when they run from Priest's henchmen, bent on killing them both.

A little book, THE DEATH YOU DESERVE can be read in an afternoon with a thirst for more. Notwithstanding a couple of stumbles through British slang, Bowker's story is a great read. Billy is the bumbling bloke that endears himself to us by his misadventures in Manchester and beyond. Despite his shortcomings, he deserves a hearty cheer for his fortitude. Names like Chef, Dogman, Beast and Heidi are Bowker's clever insertions that will make THE DEATH YOU DESERVE a chuckle in the memory bank.

--- Reviewed by Judy Gigstad

Rating:
Summary: entertaining crime thriller
Review: Horror novelist Billy Dye needs cash so he accepts the assignment of interviewing the crime kingpin of Manchester, England, Malcolm Priest. Surprisingly, the interview goes quite well as the boastful Priest profanely brags equally about his life of crime as much as his support to good deeds charities. Proud of his efforts, especially getting out with his skin intact, Billy consumes too much alcohol, which leads to his handing in an uncomplimentary picture of Priest.

Sober, Billy wonders if his knees, elbows, or fingers will be broken, that is if he lives to feel the pain. However, Billy gets a break as the editor turns the piece into friendly fluff. Pleased with the article, Priest hires Billy to ghostwrite his memoir. However, Billy being Billy manages to quickly destroy the good will of the article. Priest casts the die that Dye must die so Billy ends up in a graveyard facing execution by Raghead the hit man, who wears a bag over his head to hide his identity from his customers and victims. However, Billy's luck finally changes when Raghead turns out to be his closest childhood friend, who loyally tries to protect his buddy from Priest's gang of thugs.

THE DEATH YOU DESERVE is an entertaining crime thriller that satirizes invincible hero types defeating armies of trained killers. The story line never takes itself seriously, which leads to readers receiving a wild tale populated by an eccentric cast. Though Billy is the star, Raghead and Priest make the tale as caricatures of criminals.

Harriet Klausner

Rating:
Summary: entertaining crime thriller
Review: Horror novelist Billy Dye needs cash so he accepts the assignment of interviewing the crime kingpin of Manchester, England, Malcolm Priest. Surprisingly, the interview goes quite well as the boastful Priest profanely brags equally about his life of crime as much as his support to good deeds charities. Proud of his efforts, especially getting out with his skin intact, Billy consumes too much alcohol, which leads to his handing in an uncomplimentary picture of Priest.

Sober, Billy wonders if his knees, elbows, or fingers will be broken, that is if he lives to feel the pain. However, Billy gets a break as the editor turns the piece into friendly fluff. Pleased with the article, Priest hires Billy to ghostwrite his memoir. However, Billy being Billy manages to quickly destroy the good will of the article. Priest casts the die that Dye must die so Billy ends up in a graveyard facing execution by Raghead the hit man, who wears a bag over his head to hide his identity from his customers and victims. However, Billy's luck finally changes when Raghead turns out to be his closest childhood friend, who loyally tries to protect his buddy from Priest's gang of thugs.

THE DEATH YOU DESERVE is an entertaining crime thriller that satirizes invincible hero types defeating armies of trained killers. The story line never takes itself seriously, which leads to readers receiving a wild tale populated by an eccentric cast. Though Billy is the star, Raghead and Priest make the tale as caricatures of criminals.

Harriet Klausner

Rating:
Summary: Lame Farce
Review: I'm always on the lookout for crime stories with a twist, and I'm always keen on those set outside London (such as John Williams' Cardiff books or John Harvey's Nottingham series). Alas, this Manchester-set mobster farce proved to be far too heavy-handed and baroque to be enjoyable. The story kicks off when little-read horror novelist Billy Dye (the last name is just a taste of the mostly lame humor) is granted an interview with gangster #1 Malcom Priest (again, har har on the name) for a glossy lad mag. Dye somewhat rashly (or perhaps as part of a subconscious death wish), writes the truth about the nasty gangster in his profile. Thankfully, his editor rewrites it into a fawning puff piece, temporarily keeping Billy alive (although it's no great save, since the only four people Billy seems to know are his hapless agent, his ineffectual publisher, an estranged girlfriend, and his drug connection). This leads to Priest asking Dye to ghostwrite his autobiography, and thus Billy gains access to the inner sanctum.

Bowker attempts to milk humor from the gang's silly nicknames, such as Chef, Dogman, Beast, Heidi, Doll, etc. Quirky gangster nicknames have been a source of mirth in film and prose for quite a while, and Bowker doesn't take it anywhere new. It's all very serviceable, but no one's going to dislocate a jaw laughing at the stuff. After all this setup, the story is unleashed when Priest decides Dye is annoying and orders him killed. This seems to come out of nowhere, and it's a little strange that there's no particular inciting event that leads to this. Alas, the story relies on a huge contrivance to keep the annoying Dye aliveóit just so happens that the Priest's executioner extraordinaire ("Rawhead") was Dye's best chum from childhood.

From there, things just keep getting worse. Rawhead puts Dye into a safe house and starts unleashing revenge on his behalf, leading to some fairly nasty scenes of carnage. And for the rest of the book, it's hard to know who does more stupid stuff: Dye or the gangsters. Granted, it's all a farce, but Dye is truly unlikable, and as it becomes clearer that Rawhead is a psychopath, it's hard to root for him as well. As the book progresses, the only question is how fast all these people are going to die (not fast enough). It should be noted that there's a whole gothic texture the book. Dye and Rawhead bonded as youths over classic gothic lit, and these old ghost tales crop up throughout the second half of the story. It all ends up feeling rather gimmicky, and basically I couldn't read this book fast enough to be done with it. Plenty of people apparently like it though, cause there's a sequel out called "I Love My Smith and Wesson."

Rating:
Summary: A modern day horror story-crude, violent & very, very funny.
Review: The Death You Deserve: A Novel by David Bowker is in effect a modern day horror story along the lines of Exorcist or Silence of the Lambs with one big difference-this book is very funny.

The story center on Billy Dye and his boyhood friend-now professional hitman-now known as Rawhead.

Their friendship as boys was based on a shared interest in the occult and the classic horror stories of the time. It's a friendship cut short by the incarceration of Rawhead after he stabs a fellow student.

Billy grows up to be a failed journalist and novelist of the occult. He comes to the attention on one Malcom Priest, the head of a violent Manchester gang who signs Billy on to ghost his autobiography. Billy's a professional sarcastic SOB and he finally alienates Malcom to the point that he sets Billy up to be hit by Rawhead-his hitman of choice though one he has never seen and knows nothing about.

As Rawhead takes aim at Billy's head with his 44 Magnum he realizes that this is his boyhood chum and spares his life. This, predictably, does not please Malcom and so the chase is on.

Up to this point the book stands as a run-of-the-mill mafia tale. Once rejoined, however, the mutual attraction that Billy and Rawhead have for horror takes over and elements of a classic horror story dominate the action. Rawhead puts Billy up in an old, apparently haunted house-the night hours are filled with groans, screams and the smell of blood. Flies and maggots infest the property. Billy's instinctively knows that there's something wrong here but can't bring himself to depart both because he's a target of subsequent hitmen Malcom hires and needs Rawhead's protection as well as his attraction to the supernatural aspects of Rawhead's persona.

The action-and there is pleanty of action-builds to a tumultuous ending.

Bowker can write. The book is fast paced, hip and riddled with sarcastic and farcical humor. It's also, at points, scary as hell. It's also riddled with lots of profanity and some truly horrific and graphic violence. Readers should beware-this is not a book for the easily offended or those who have any sort of queasy constitution.

This is a wild romp of a story. If you can handle it, you'll be glad you went along for the ride.

Rating:
Summary: The Thrill You Deserve
Review: The thriller writer Lee Child calls this book 'hard, funny and scary' and I'd have to agree. Billy Dye, a Manchester horror writer falls foul of an evil gang boss called Malcolm Priest, who sends a hitman called Rawhead to kill him. But Rawhead turns out to be Billy's old schoolfriend, and he spares the writer's life and hides him in an old house by a churchyard. Then Priest finds out the Dye is still alive and vows revenge on him and Rawhead. Now there's nothing for the two friends to do but wait for nightfall, knowing that retribution is on its way. And as the bodies pile up, Billy comes to realise that the biggest threat waiting in the darkness is none other than Rawhead himself. This is one cool book but be warned- it gets nastier as it goes along and the ending is a real stunner.