Rating: 
Summary: a one sided representation
Review: As an Arican American female currenly attending a white university I have seen racism in many forms. I cannot honestly say that I am surprised by the views presented in OCOP, but I am shocked by the pride with which the author seemed to have written them. I know I am a little late reading this book (initially I had decided not to read it) but the constant buzz forced me to buy it. Though I have not completed the text, I can already see why African Americans are in such an uproar. Most people are not offended b/c there is a black upper class with groups like Jack and Jill. What people seem to be up in arms about is the manner in which this piece of history is presented. It seems that the author has gone out of his was to represent the views and often hurtful comments of snobs, while systematically eliminating the views of the more humble upper class. His point is made. He wants us to see the distinction between "them" and "us." He wants those that don't belong to see that they will never belong.Perhaps the biggest problem I have with the book is its false representation of my beloved sorority. Though many of the statements may have been true (in the 40s 50s and 60s) they are not true now. Our sororities are much more than exclusive social gatherings. Yes, we do look for the best- but in 1999 the best is about academic performance, community service, and high ethical standards. His shady representation of greek life caused me to doubt his description of other groups in the text. Apparently the author of OCOP felt privileged to group up in such an exclusive surroundig, and that is not the problem. The problem is that he presents a one-sided view that is designed to isolate the black upper class more than they really are(believe me, these groups are not as exclusive as he tries to make it seem). I have friends who come from generarations of straight hair, light skin and eyes, good family names, AKAs, Links, Alphas, and so on. The humility in their families was not represented in this book. Rather, it made them look like lost souls struggling to feel superior to others (blacks who were not there kind of people) b/c they feel inferior to whites. talk about an identity crisis.
Rating:
Summary: An innocuous an superficial treatment of this subject matter
Review: After reading this book and then reading the often vitriolic comments on this book, the author, and his wife, I just wanted to remind everyone that we all have relatives "from Yale to jail" to quote a friend of mine. Reading the book did not cause me to be ashamed of my background (working-class), nor did it cause me to bemoan the fact that despite my Harvard degree, I will never be accepted by the black elite of which Graham speaks. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. During my four years at Harvard, no one ever asked me what my parents did for a living. In fact, the children of the black elite spent a lot of time trying to fabricate street credentials and other signifiers that they were "keeping it real." As a member of a sorority (blacks had to pledge off-campus at Wellesley and MIT) I attended parties at Wellesley and I don't remember any type of color casting or brown paper bag testing happening. That is not to say that it did not happen. It was just not apart of my experience. As a history buff, I found certain passages of the book illuminating, but it was hard to miss some glaring typos, i.e. Beardon instead of Bearden, and other misinformation, such as the Spelman sorority mishap which other reviewers have noted. My problem with the book is not the subject matter, but that it lacks depth and critical analysis. Ironically, I am heartened by the reviews here at Amazon that express support of anyone who improves him or herself regardless of parentage, background, or socioeconomic status. Some of the personal attacks on Mr. Graham are a bit much, however. I believe in many cases he was exposing the elitist attitudes of some members of the elite, not endorsing them. At least I hope so. Power to the people!
Rating:
Summary: Episcopal Church
Review: It is unfortunate that Mr. Graham chose to write this book of truths and non-truths. I attended a predominantly white high school, was a debutante and attended a HBCU (not one of the elite). I was christened and confirmed in the Episcopal church (not a johnny come lately). The only truth to this book is about people "converting" to the Episcopalian religion because of the "status". Most of the people in the Episcopalian religion are educated and pretentious. My former priest catered to this crowd and lost most of the long time parishioners in the process!! I am a professional on Wall Street and know firsthand how the blacks on the "Street", particularly my old employer, donot speak to one another for fear of being seen talking to other blacks. I attend professional functions and find it amusing and sad to see how we try to "out professionalize" each other. I belong to a few of the organizations mentioned in the book. We do more than socialize. We help in the communities by doing worthwhile projects!! Some of us can correctly speak the English language, dress and carry ourselves in a professioanl manner but we are not bourgeois. Class is taught, not bought! We as a people should stop labeling our differences and start to teach our children to love and respect themselves. It doesnot take a millionaire to do that.
Rating: 
Summary: OKOP...Should have been written by reviewer from Barrington
Review: OKOP should not be considered a reference book since facts and relationships are inaccurate. In fact, there should be a footnote indicating "for entertainment purposes only."
Rating:
Summary: Pathetic
Review: I am African, attended boarding school in England, summer ski camps in Switzerland, played golf near holiday home in Spain. So what? Having read this poorly written book,(this from a Harvard/Princeton graduate?)I feel sorry for Mr. Graham, and his friends. THEY HAVE NO CLASS! Huge, huge chips on their shoulders is all they have, and absolutely no manners. We should all be celebrating. It is just as well they prefer not to mix with us. Mr. Graham, himself, is angry with White people for not allowing him to be white,with Black people for not allowing him to be white. Mr. Graham is angry. Period. And he will never be white! Poor man.
Rating:
Summary: Exactly!
Review: To Young, Gifted and Black in Illinois. Thank you for one of the most sensible responses/reviews I've read so far.
Rating:
Summary: Glad I'm not "His Kind of People"
Review: I'm not going to attack Graham - his grandmother trying to shade him and his brother from the sun - shed some insight into his identity problems (was that a subtle attack?). Well - let's see - I'm Black (I fail the paperbag test), raised in Jack and Jill, attended private grade schools, introduced to society in a Delta Cotillion (1986), attended a private predominantly white educational institution for my undergraduate and I am currently enrolled in a top 5 B-School in Chicago. According to Graham's definition (and after reading some of their comments), thankfully, I am not a member of the "black elite". My paternal-grandmother, born in 1915, is a graduate of Mississippi Industrial College. My mother and father graduated from a HBCU, Philander-Smith College in Little Rock, Arkansas. A fine institution that doesn't make Graham's list of TOP HBCUs. My family is full of Links, nurses, Girlfriends, maids, Deltas, AKAs, Omegas, Alpha's, career-students, Boule Members, unemployed individuals, lawyers, doctors, single mothers, Vice Presidents, farmers, entrepreneurs, project dwellers, Trucking Company Owners, welfare mothers, teachers, and the list goes on... I haven't kept in touch with my Jack-and-Jill friends, I would have to say it's due to the passage of time, growing up and moving on. The experiences in Jack-and-Jill were rewarding and unique compared to other children in my working-class black neighborhood. I believe it is because of those experiences that I view playing chess, skiing, golf, theater and opera as favorite past times instead of as activities for "white people". My cotillion gave me a self-confidence that I cherish today. I can recall the etiquette classes and still do a mean waltz! I'm grateful to my parents for immersing me in a rich african-american culture, full of soul-food, bid whist and steppin' as well as insuring that I received numerous privileges and the best education that money could buy. I can't help but to think that they would slap me hard, twice, if I were to make many of the comments that Graham's resources chose to make. I just finished the book, the only comment that I have is that no one author can do justice to the "upper-class" black community. Graham's publication is no more valuable than a Cliff Note version of the Bible. It's the type of publication that serves only to further separate us - just look at the polarity of the comments. Let's be thankful for individuals like Graves, Johnson, Madame C.J. Walker, etc. - but let's not disregard the numerous contributions to society by teachers, factory workers, nurses, etc. Those who were maids, butlers, chauffeurs - who worked tirelessly so that their children had the opportunity to rise. Many of "our people" had to just plain work hard to make a living and their hard work and sacrifices should not be belittled or looked down upon by anyone, especially "us", because of what they did or the shade of their skin.
Rating: 
Summary: Shocked and Saddened by Snobbery
Review: I found the book both interesting and disturbing. The historical and factual information about wealthy African Americans, their customs, and rituals was fascinating from a sociological point of view. I was at the same time really disappointed with the racism I percieved in the book. I found the stance that only wealthy Black people want the best for their children in terms of education and other opportunities to be ludicrous. The fact that a person could contribute to the NAACP but not want to socialize with memebers due to their class status seems counterproductive to their mission. Those types of comments ran rampant throughout the book and were hard to read page after page. In places, the book read like a social register of rich people, their social clubs, and vacation homes. I could only read the book in little bits due to the snobbish tone that emanated from page to page. I think the author is correct in stating that this story should be told since African Americans as a group are not a monolith. I just found difficult to swallow the reality that there is so much arrogance and elitism within the African American community.
Rating:
Summary: 2 Stars for Entertainment - Otherwise Book Has Little Value
Review: As I read this book, I went through a myriad of emotions. After it was all said and done, I just felt angry, embarrassed, and most of all sad. The author makes no attempt to redeem himself by countering some of the ridiculous things these people he interviewed are quoted as saying. The author comes across as if these attitudes are normal and okay. I find it hard to believe the people he mentions throughout the book let him use their real names! I can't believe we are still having this conversation about class and color. I felt the same way 11 years ago when Spike Lee's School Daze came out. Same story but it was mostly from the so called, "have nots" point of view. In the end, the "wannabees" still came across as looking comical and way out of touch with reality and that is exactly how I define this book. I am familiar with most aspects of this book. Mainly because I have had a lot of the same experiences. The author makes these experiences sound so elite and exclusive. Believe me, they are not. It's only that way if you make a big issue over it. Those who do are extremely insecure and the author falls into that category. Really it's quite pathetic. I have seen social climbers, such as those mentioned in this book, in full action. I guess the thing that bothers me the most about this book is how the author portrays sororities and fraternities as frivolous and purely social. I am a member of one of the sororities he mentions throughout the book. I work very hard for my sorority and believe me I am not planning any cotillions or parties. My sorority is a serious organization and we are about public service. The author totally glossed over that aspect of Greek Life. The author is obviously an intelligent and gifted individual. He should use his gifts to generate some discussion on how these archaic attitudes can be challenged and ultimately changed. He said himself these attitudes are the legacy of slavery. Its time for us let go of the class and color thing!
Rating: 
Summary: Very interesting
Review: I thought this was a very interesting book and indeed as the author states a part of American history. Every group has its clubs, schools and traditions and black Americans are no different. The Jack and Jill club seems like a smart response to segregation and way to introduce values to the young. I'm sorry the author has had to take such a beating for presenting an interesting look at a little-known culture. I thought he was balanced and I admire his pride in black role models.
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