Our Kind of People: Inside America's Black Upper Class

Rating:
Summary: Informative But Misrepresentative
Review: Lawrence Otis Graham wrote a book that ended up being disliked by plenty of Afro-Americans (as the reviews on this site make clear), yet hugely popular. And one must wonder about this development. Like many readers I found the book to be mediocre and felt annoyed with Graham for claiming that the Afro-American elite are principally concerned about who your family is, no matter what you, personally, have accomplished. In that he is thoroughly wrong. Maybe a very very tiny fraction of the elite is obsessed with something so trivial and insignificant. But coming from a family who has been part of the elite for quite some time and having grown up amongst plenty such people, I can attest that no one I know of would think less of, say, an Afro-American cardiovascular surgeon who grew up in a public housing project, never knew his father, and had eight siblings all by different fathers. In fact, they would probably feel more respect for him for having risen from such an environment to accomplish all he did, than someone of the same profession who came from a home where his parents were doctors or lawyers. So I can understand the anger of a lot of people at Graham for giving such a misimpression in a book that the major media has implied is the first and last word on the Afro-American upper class.

Then there is the other issue that seems to have stuck like a bone in the throats of a lot of Afro-American readers. The color caste system amongst the elite. First, I don't think that it's nearly as important as it was many many years ago. And second, I think that it is a misplaced concern. What I mean by that is that the real issue with regard to Afro-Americans and beauty is less that of color than it is other features, such as whether or not one has a chiseled nose (an issue that obviously was important to Graham who had plastic surgery on his), the right shaped lips, etc. And to prove the point ask yourself, How many men would turn down the lovely dark-skinned Naomi Campbell in favor of an overwieght, light, bright, damn near "white" woman? Of course the answer is few to none.

But this issue of what physical features are considered most beautiful is hardly limited to Afro-Americans. Countless Caucasians of different ethnicities have gotten nose jobs like Graham did (for instance Jews). And numerous Jews and other immigrants changed their names once they arrived in the U.S. to sound more anglo. Everyone who ever appeared on these shores to pursue a better life aspired to assimilate as best they could so that they could be accepted by the majority. Yet the only group who has engaged in extraordinary self-flagelation over this yearning (and at the encouragement of those eager to make us feel like second class citizens) have been Afro-Americans. We need to accept it as just one of many indications that we are just as human as everyone else.

In sum, Graham's book is informative. But it is also misrepresentative. And the pity is that in a media world that tends to pick out one source to represent different aspects of Afro-American life, it has received inordinate attention compared to other books that give a far more nuanced picture of the Afro-American upper class. But that's the world we live in. And I remain baffled as to why if so many people hate "Our Kind of People," it's been so popular.

Rating:
Summary: Are They Really Our Kind Of People?
Review: Now after reading this book I have to ask myself are they really our kind of people? The answer to this question depends on the reader, you can't get into their social life if you don't have generations to back you up. What kind of message is this? One doesn't stand on their own in front of this group but with generations of their family with them and if the family does not past the test then you may not neither. On the other hand can we be mad at successful blacks other than athletes and celebrities who choose to surround themselves with those of their some caliber. Now I found myself agreeing with the purpose of the social groups Links, Boule, and Jack & Jill just to name a few to a point but some of their memebers ideas are just plain ridiculous. While reading the book for the first time a lot of statements stuck with me but one new one I found while reading the book for the second time I found a statement that one of the ladies said why she choose to be an AKA and not one of those "lesser sororities." Now the quote pretty much sums up the way this class of people think this quote can be found on page 16 "Now I'm an AKA, and the only other natural sorority for me would be the Deltas. The other sororities were just not a consideration. It's not that I am looking down on them, but the fit wouldn't have been right for me or them. They were a tab bit darker than darker than us. And they really didn't come from our background. We were daughters of doctors, teachers, dentists, pharmacists, and such. They were doing good if their fathers were even Baptists preachers." "We just came from two different worlds & we weren't likeminded people. And why spend time with people who aren't similar? Of course they were all quite polite and well behaved. After all we were at Spelman." Graham changed the lady's name now if that doesn't say something is wrong with her statement but the way that whole circle think then I don't know what does. Now even though I might be just a tender 18 and a recent gradute of the class of 2000 I have asked that everyone that is black read this book. This book has become a part of permanet collection because it reminds me of how I never want to think. I leave with the same question that I started with are they really our kind of people? Would you past the test? Are there two kind of blacks the rest of us and America's Black Upper Class?

Rating:
Summary: Black Elite In Disguise
Review: The controversial book "Our Kind of People: Inside America's Black Upper Class," by Lawrence Otis Graham, prompted me to write the following essay. The book examines how the black elite -- most of whom are light skin with "good hair" in the black community -- live an insular life. My essay looks at a young black woman - MYSELF -- who looks the part of the black elite, but who is far from it:

BLACK ELITE IN DISGUISE One day when I was at school (Xavier University of Louisiana, a private black college), a young woman walked up to me and asked, "Isn't your last name ________?" I said, "Yes." And she looked at me and said, "You're rich. Why are you catching the bus?" I looked at her, smiled and walked away.

My life growing up in New Orleans as a light-skinned young woman, with "good hair "(I'm only using this for purposes of this story) was quite an adventure. And having the last name of a prominent African American relative only added to the pot. Yes, I am light-skinned, with wavy hair. Yes, I have a prominent last name, but my family is by no means part of the black elite. We are the black elite in disguise.

My working class parents (my father could infiltrate the KKK, while my mother could barely pass the brown paper bag test) worked two and three jobs, to see to it that we lived in a middle class neighborhood (they looked down on folks who lived in the projects or in the inner city). My parents sent my brothers and I to all-black private elementary and high schools, where many of the students were light-skinned with "good hair." In the late '70s, my parents saved up enough money to buy a house in a middle-middle class black neighborhood where black doctors, judges, lawyers and educators thrived. We may have been out of the loop, but we were in the mix. After all, who would know? We all (as long as my mother wasn't around) looked the part.

But at one point my fake black elitism wasn't a match for the many doctors and businessmen sons that I met at Xavier. I fell hard for one brother, the son of a prominent doctor, who even had his picture in "Jet" magazine. I couldn't pretend anymore. And when I let my guard down, that was it. I was kicked to the curb. My good hair, my light skin and my prominent last name didn't matter.

Eventually, I moved from New Orleans to the big city trying to escape the façade. There I thought I would be shielded from the painful memories of my New Orleans. And for a while I was until the white people and folks from other parts of the world became fascinated by my "exotic looks" and wanted to know "what was I." And when I'd tell them "I'm black" the disappointment in their faces said it all.

The disappointment in my parents' faces said it all when I eventually married a very dark skinned man and had a caramel colored baby girl. The first thing on everyone's mind was the texture of my daughter's hair. Like most black babies when they are first born their hair is straight, and so was my daughter's. However, while I was in the mall one day, two black women, at different times, walked up to me and said almost like this, "You're baby is not going to have good hair like you. It will get nappy." I said nothing.

Now that my daughter is much older and her hair is not like mine, many African Americans, comment to the affect, " Too bad she doesn't have hair like yours."

My family didn't have and still do not have the money and all the trimmings that the blacks in "Our Kind of People" do, but I'm not too happy to say that our lives do parallel. And I'm still not happy to admit that I often relish in playing the game - and oh what fun I have zipping down the street in my luxury car. The black elite thinks that I'm one of them, but I'm only a black elitist in disguise.

Anonymous in the big city

Rating:
Summary: Pitiful and Inaccurate. This book is just a crying towel
Review: I agree with the people who think Mr. Graham is crying about sour grapes. The tone of his writings leads one to believe that the traditionally held "black" clubs are poor imitations of exclusive "white" clubs and that he feels cheated because he was born black.

As one reader pointed out, black is what somebody is born. It doesn't have anything to do with club memberships. That is a stupid and lame excuse.

Jack & Jill was created to give black families a forum to meet and a place where their children could socialize. It also provided black families with hosts they could stay with during a time when blacks just weren't admitted to most hotels. (Maybe the management thought we'd darken the doorway -- I don't know).

It is a sad comment in today's world that there is still a need, much less a desire for all black clubs. It would be wonderful if people would be accepted based on other criteria and not bloodlines or physical appearance.

One thing the author gives minimal attention to is the way many blacks treat one another. Just try being black and Irish and looking mostly Irish. Just try having to explain to people your entire life that you're black when you aren't readily recognizable as such. It is the hostility that comes from within that is so much more insidious and detrimental that the bigotry from outside the black group. I like it when others point out that speech, grammar and behaviors aren't black -- one's bloodlines and heritage is what determines their racial makeup, not their behavior. The argument that I have had to put up with my entire life is one of not "acting or speaking the part." If I wore the costume of a different nation and incorporated that country's speech patterns, would that make me a member of that nationality? Would I be Japanese because I put on a kimono or French because I learned the language and insisted on moving in only French circles? Speech and behavior do not a race make. It is the family bloodlines.

I think Mr. Graham needs to get the clinkers hammered out of his thinker. This book is just a crying towel and one hopes he will one day communciate the message of self acceptance instead of self doubt.

Rating:
Summary: LUDICROUS! AN EXCUSE FOR SELF PITY
Review: This pathetic work is just an excuse for the author to feel sorry for himself. Being black is not a handicap, as this author would have his readers believe. Eric Moye's review was 100% RIGHT ON TARGET! I agree -- that stupidly written, ludicrous chapter on passing was an insult to the intelligence of all who have ever read it. I know that there have been many people who have passed for various reasons -- job chances, social reasons, etc. (One of the major news magazines did a whole segment on passing and how it divides families). The presentation Mr. Graham gives this topic is just plain stupid. It is embarrassing. I think Mr. Graham has a lot of racial identities on his plate in addition to a lot of hostilities. One wonders if he feels insecure about himself for being black.

There is nothing in the world wrong with being black. If you are, great. If you aren't great. You are you. Race is not the only identity by which you are known. It is a part of who you are and not the total. I think Mr. Graham is in dire need of counseling. Instead of straightening his hair or nose, he needs to straighten out his mind.

Rating:
Summary: Pathetic
Review: What a shame to see this type of wasted talent. After reading (and enjoying) Graham's "Member of the Club", I expected so much more. Sadly, what we have here is little more than several hundred pages of the way some Blacks have emulated the worst traits of some Anglos.

I am reminded of the old adage: "From those to whom much is given, much is expected". One could not tell from this self- aggrandizing, pseudo-intellectual, shallow drivel what good Graham seeks to do for anyone other than himself. The organizations which Graham lauds have done some good work (like the Links' scholarship program), but far too much of this book is wasted naming which member of Congress or Mayor is in one of these groups. The book would be half its length but for its repetitive nature. We here learn time and time again, who is in the Links, ot the Boulee of the Committee of 1000, and where they sent their children.

What stands out the most is the attitude of those who consider themselves DuBois "Talented Tenth". Too much of the commentary found here about other Blacks is what one would expect to hear from old Klansmen. Indeed, as is apparent from this work, we are too often our own enemy, looking down surgically narrowed noses (more on that later) and less well off Blacks.

Tragically telling is a ludicrous chapter on the ABC's of "passing". It seriously suggests changing religions (like joining the Presbyterian Church) or even more incredulously, the Republican Party) in order not to be considered Black. The bottom line of course is to avoid associating with other Blacks. And that racial superiority is the constant theme of this whole book.

Sadly and predictably we learn (almost at the end of this book) that Graham seems to hate that which he is and will always be: A Black man in America. For that reason alone, there are some people who will never accept him, regardless of how many times he and those who think like him put on their tuxedoes and sip champagne from fine crystal. This fact is lost on him, and as much as he tries to be different, he cannot escape his birth defined existence. The money which he spent on the narrowing of his nose (which he reveals in a later chapter) was wasted. He would have been better off spending his cash getting some help for his terribly confused psyche.

Rating:
Summary: amusing
Review: I find it amusing that when discussing the "three colleges that count", he forgets to mention Florida A&M University ,which has graduated more black baccalaureates than any other university in the country, which is also held in high regard, and the school from which the present Supreme Basileus, Norma Solomon White, of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc is a graduate. I wonder why.

Rating:
Summary: passing thoughts.....
Review: I would suggest to all who have read Mr. Grahams's book to read Ms Felicia Lee's excellent review in The New York Times Book Review. (February 21st 1999) It is on the money. It seems to be the most balanced and rational review that I have read by anyone yet. The opening paragraph says it all, and judging from the customer responces, we have got a long way to go.

Rating:
Summary: dirty laundry on the elite
Review: if every poor African American, as myself got their hands on the book, I think it would be major trouble. Not because of the accomplishments these African Americans have made, because this part of the book is something to be proud of. But the way that these elite Black people look down on the less foutunate is a the reason why Black America is still suffering as a whole. It sounds like this secret Society of BLACK people are shutting others out of their circle not to let too many of us in. This is a sad reality about our own. Some who have accoplished so much, and still ashamed to be Black. The White super power has shut them out of their circle, so to make themselves feel super, they look down on middle class and poor Black folks. Some of The people in this book are so plastic. Watch out black politicians, when you come to poor and working class neighboorhoods people are going to want to know if you were in Jack and Jill, Links, ect. When you come to our neighborhoods asking for our votes. NO! It's just a matter of time before others find out what we suspected all along. sellouts!

Rating:
Summary: Our Kind of People
Review: As all thoughts on a page and in a book for that matter is a matter of perspective so is this review:

To truly appreciate the works of an authour such as Graham (while not neccessarily agreeing or sometimes not trusting his motives for writing this book and others in the past)is to understand from whence he came.

From his last book "Proversity" to this current book and all the previous writing that he has done regarding his perspective on "Black Folks", I can appreciated his transformation while at times being suspicious of his motives.

I graduated White Plains High School in Westchester County, New York with Graham. For our years at WPHS, I too was an outsider within my "community" and observed him from a far in his struggles to be accepted. And accepted he was not, nor did he stake claim to his African Heritage during those very important years of development as is his focus these days.

When I saw him in later years on the Donahue Show, on the Metro North Train-Harlem Line, and in other venues, he occured to me as trying desperately (in a bittersweet sort of a way) to awaken from the shock of NOT being accepted by White America as the prestigious law firm in NY and giving that up...to becoming a soldier in the trenches of the black community (at the Connecticut Country Club.) If this is how, we awake to a higher good..so be it. Many of us have been there. But Graham has chosen to do something about it. While I hope his motivation is not to right a wrong BUT to become a catalyst for providing proactive soluntions to race relations in America.

I DO believe that this author is living his transformation within the pages of his books. Not that this is BAD or WRONG, I actually think it has been helpful to all the color lines in America because he has walked the tight rope that splits the hard truths about racism on BOTH sides (Black & White).

I tip my hat to this writer for being able to present his HARD TRUTHS in a provocative way to spark so much success and interest. I LOVED "PROVERSITY" and agree with many of the Hard Truths in THIS book. ALL of us, at one time or another (and most DEFINITELY GRAHAM..as been a "WANNABEE" and tried desperately to fit in and played the name dropping, status climbing tunes). One of the missing link not clearly depicted in this book is simply the concept of INTERNALIZED OPPRESSION..which we as a people have been victims of (from the days of breaking and seperating the slaves to segmenting classes and skin shades). Thus, we have often times become the victimizers of our "own kind of people" as we struggle with what W.E.B. Dubois coined the "twoness of the soul." We often WANNABEE so much better than the black stereoptypical images used to oppress us that we are often embarrased by the so-called "disgracers to our race" who don't live up to our "arrival" standards". This syndrome of internalized oppression was in my opinion at the core of one of Graham's earlier editorials in Essence Magazine entitled the "SHAME OF THE BLACK MIDDLE CLASS" a group to which he selfidentified and was now beginning to seek footing. During this time, I imagine his was having difficulties at the Law Firm and realizing that a Black Man with a Harvard Degree is still BLACK in America. I guess it hurts when folks chalk you up to being a product of Affirmative Action and you graduated with honors on your own merit. I believe that this period is at the root of Grahams transformation as a BLACK MAN in AMERICA.

I think whether readers agree with him or not, his books should not be taken lightly. These books have their place and is very valuable especially to black folks living in America has we walk the tight rope between being AFRICAN/BLACK and AMERICAN.

Kudos! to Graham in his ongoing transformation and contribution to the consciousness in AMERICA. I am truly proud to have been a member of his graduating class at W.P.H.S. 1979.