In Session: The Bond Between Women and Their Therapists

Rating:
Summary: A MUST-READ FOR ANYONE OBSESSED WITH THEIR THERAPIST!!
Review: I am a late-20-something female who had seen about 30+ therapists (mostly male) until I finally found one (a female) who I felt really "got" me. I went into therapy with her about 5 months ago and at first I thought we just really "connected." Well about 2 months into it, I ended up completely and utterly obsessed with her, which rendered me not only unable to focus on my primary reasons for entering therapy to begin with, but also on my daily life!! My obsession with her was preoccupying my mind, and on the verge of ruining my present relationship. I didn't know what was wrong with me--I felt like I was falling apart--I was literally at a worse state then than I was when I initially went into therapy with her.

WELL, I stumbled across this book and it is FABULOUS. It is a MUST-READ for ANYONE who has become obsessed with their therapist. It saved my life, my therapy, and my relationship.

It focuses on the *client* for once, makes more sense of transference than anything I've ever read, and is written so eloquently, from a woman who really knows what she's talking about--no dry clinical tone or anything like that. This book literally saved my life, and I cannot recommend it enough.

XXX
--V

Rating:
Summary: The best therapy book I've ever read
Review: I am just an average person struggling through my first real experience with therapy. I never knew what strong feelings I would have or what I was really getting into but sometimes it overwhelms me. This book was great. I have read approximately 10 books on therapy and specifically the relationship in therapy. This one was by the far the most helpful. Not only is it well-written but for me it really helped me to know what other people have gone through in therapy -- that I am not the only one. I think this is particularly good for those of us who sometimes feel madly in love with our therapist! Thank-you to the author!

Rating:
Summary: EVERY THERAPIST AND CLIENT SHOULD READ THIS BOOK
Review: I had been in therapy for approximately six months before I realized I was struggling to be honest and open with my therapist. I found, with my past issues, a love that just couldn't be explained. Never being in therapy before, yet being in the Medical Field, I was not only shocked at myself but ashamed I allowed this to occur. It was then I found Deborah Lott's book and I have read it, utlilized it over and over, and I feel it should be required reading for people entering therapy. Not that this intense, in-depth feeling of connection and love occurs with every client, it is so freeing to understand how and why this can happen. Deborah has written a masterpiece on the therapeutic process and allows one to know the potential for these immense feelings to happen, how to deal with them, and honesty is the best policy. When I spoke to my therapist of the emotions I was feeling, he was very supportive and we have left them "out on the table" to discuss as we continue the process of healing. If I only would have known what I do now after reading Deborah's book, I would have saved myself so much energy, grief, and had the ability to be aware and honest with myself as well as my therapist.
I find it is natural to develop these feelings and even though I struggle with them from time to time, I am able to be open and honest, and feel by discussing them, I am healing in other fashions as well. I highly recommend this book to anyone before they even begin therapy and I as well, hope more therapist will encourage and discuss the potential for these emotions to be apart of the entire process during the first visit.
My hat is off to Deborah and I refer to her book often. She has more insight than many of the therapists I know. I would love to see this recommended reading for all therapists as well.

Rating:
Summary: Ditto!
Review: I would just like to ditto all that has been said in the other reviews. Deborah Lott's book is a triumph, to be modest! It makes public all that has been held sacred, oops I mean secret about the therapeutic relationship. She basically puts it all on the table in a lucid and bold way. To say that I admire her courage to publish the unspeakable would be an understatement. You just have to read the book to really understand why the reviews of her book on this site are so true! It's a must for every therapist, therapist in training or anyone seeking therapy.

Rating:
Summary: A delicate and insightful review of a most intimate subject
Review: Reading Deborah Lott's book "In Session" was the most unbelievable, eye-opening experience - it unlocked the door to the prison of my mind. Was I living in a cave? How could I not have known prior to reading this book that there are so many women in the world who have the exact same thoughts and feelings that I do? Exposing this natural phenonemon as real, and extremely common is the cure for what ail's many women. Having unexplainable intense feelings for your therapist and not knowing what to do with them is a very troubling situation to go through. Believing that you are the only one who succumbs to these feelings is almost worse. I have been truly haunted by the feelings of yearning, despair, loneliness and shame. Deborah Lott's book released me from my darkest hours. She has such an incredible insight into the minds of women - it was as if she reached into my brain and pulled out my exact thoughts. I saw myself on practically every page of the book! I thank her so much for freeing me from the guilt, shame, and humiliation that I suffered from before having read her book. I was in the middle of a serious depression, making it difficult to function in the real world, not knowing where to turn or what to do with my feelings. This profound book has showed me why I feel the way I do, and that it is nothing to be ashamed of. It explains what to do when you develop those feelings, and it discusses the ideas of "transference", showing all sides and theories behind the label. Knowing that I was not alone (not even in keeping my therapist's business card close at hand for comfort) with all of my unexplained feelings, was the freedom I was longing for but thought that I would never find. After reading this book, I walked into my therapist's office with a new outlook and a great attitude about the whole experience. I gave him the book - he needs to read it for me, for himself, and most importantly for the next client of his that finds herself in the same situation.

Rating:
Summary: EVERY THERAPIST AND CLIENT SHOULD READ THIS BOOK
Review: Thank you so much for writing this book. Reading this book has been so beneficial to me and my therapy. I too had transference. It didn't make sense and was uncomfortable to deal with. My therapist was very understanding and helpful but this book answered so many questions and provoked many questions about myself, my therapst and as well as my past that I had never considered. I recommend this book to all who consider therapy. This should be required reading for therapists as well.

Thanks again to this author! Suzy

Rating:
Summary: True to life
Review: This book is an accurate and insightful look into how women react to their therapists and develop such strong emotional bonds with them. I was amazed at the depth of information here and how much I could relate to what was written. Anyone who is in therapy should read this book - as a matter of fact, the therapists themselves would benefit from reading this as well. Outside of Irvin Yalom, this is one of the best books I've read on the subject. I highly recommend it to anyone interested in the subject of psychotherapy.

Rating:
Summary: Buy Two!
Review: This book sheds helpful light on both sides of "the couch." Ms. Lott tackles a huge and disturbing subject with clarity and wisdom. Her insights would have been very helpful in the early days of my social work training, and I suspect many women will be wiser consumers of mental health services if they have read this book.

This book includes information about some of the most serious mistakes clients and therapists make, but it isn't designed to treat those situations. It will give you insight and understanding, as well as much-needed perspective. You'll avoid problems, be more brave in the therapeutic process, and understand the intense nature of the therapeutic relationship.

Buy two - one for you, and one for your client/therapist!

Rating:
Summary: In Session : The Bond Between Woman and Their Therapists
Review: This is without a doubt the most incredible book I have ever read on any aspect of psychotherapy, transference and the therapeutic relationship. Thanks to Deborah Lott's book, I will never be the same. I am both a client and a soon to be graduate student in psychology. This book was lifechanging. It showed me the way to achieve the deepest therapeutic relationship with my therapist possible and in doing so, the deepest healing is occuring. I always believed I had a open honest relationship with my therapist and this is true; however, this book allowed me to see that there were some things I was not saying and feelings I was not expressing, that I needed to. Some that both shocked and scared me. I did not realize this because I had driven these feeling and thoughts underground (particularly ones involving erotic transference, since both my therapist and I are female and heterosexual). These feeling became 'secrets' in my therapy, that prevented progression to even more deeper levels of the therapeutic process. Ms Lott's book opened my eyes to what was going on, helped me understand I was not alone, that these feeling were common and normal and inspired me (despite great anxiety and fear) to confess these feeling to my therapist; to say everything I had been holding back and by doing so experiencing tremendous relief. I have had a very close, deep therapeutic relationship with my therapist for almost 4 years, that just became closer and deeper than I ever imagine. I never knew the fear and anxiety that holding this 'secret' had created. This book and my therapist's reaction of total acceptance and understanding released me from an emotional prison. I was freed to experience trust, freedom and happiness I had not known before. All therapist, clients, prospective clients and student of the disciplin should put this one at the top of their reading list. Ms. Lott's contribution to the field, and to clients as well as to therapists is remarkable considering that she is not a therapist; something one would never know had she not said so in her book. I look forward with great anticipation to her next book.

Rating:
Summary: A must-read
Review: When I entered therapy three months ago I was unprepared for the onslaught of confusing, troubling emotions directed towards my therapist. This book was a Godsend in that it 1.Convinced me my situation is not unusual 2. Helped me to much better comprehend the delicate dynamics of my therapy relationship and 3. Armed me with information so that I do not feel as though I don't know the rules. Deborah Lott writes with grace, artistry and sensitivity on a complicated subject. This book gives me courage each day I sit down with my therapist because I better understand my emotions and his obligations. It is a must-read for any woman in therapy and their therapists. Thanks to Ms. Lott for opening this can of worms!