The Mistress : Histories, Myths and Interpretations of the "Other Woman"

Rating:
Summary: Learning from history
Review: At first glance, this book looks more like a history textbook, and if someone were looking for a book to help them get over the pain of an affair, they may feel disappointed. BUT, if you read this book with an open mind, no matter what side of the love triangle you're standing on, you have the opportunity to learn about yourself, your side, and what lies behind all of your motivations and experiences. It is more geared toward the other woman than the wife, but I suggest that the wife read this book in order to understand her own power in the triangle by viewing the side of the other woman.

I picked up this book after ending my second affair with hopes that it would somehow help me to heal from the pain. Although the book did not end up being a "how-to-get-over-it" book, I can honestly say that it was better than any other book that I have read on this subject. It has been my experience that in order to heal and move on from painful experiences, we must first realize the truth behind the actions and this book articulates these truths through narrating the stories of "the other woman" throughtout history.

This book has given me more to work with in my path to healing and understanding. My relationships with my ex-married men are now blame-free and drama-free because I now understand the dynamics of these types of relationships better. If you are thinking about getting into an extra-marital affair, it would do you some good to read this book in order to get a full understanding of what you are actually signing up for. It does a good job of being non-judgemental towards everyone in the triangle, and I believe that all sides should be understood fully.

Rating:
Summary: A must read
Review: Especially for those who label themselves as a "mistress" or those who just want a better understanding of the "other woman" this book is a fascinating read. It's interesting to take a historical look at all the women who have gone before us. (And yet somewhat disconcerting that they thought almost the same things in the same words 150 years ago!) I couldn't put this book down. Thanks to this author for bringing light to a little talked about subject.

Rating:
Summary: Slow in the middle but interesting
Review: Examining the lives and situations of mistresses from historical times to the present allows the reader to see how things change and at the time see how much they remain the same. I thought this was a very interesting book, but it did slow down quite a bit in the middle. The author did not distribute her subjects evenly, but wound up concentrating a number of examples around the end/beginning of the 19th/20th centuries -- so much so that I started to confuse some of them together, especially when she started discussing multiple generations of affairs in a family.
Nevertheless, the book offers insights and understanding to affairs of the heart.

Rating:
Summary: A great chance for self knowledge
Review: This book is a great reason for deeper search inside our selves . How can anybody make comments ,accept or even reward something that nobody would wish to happen to his/her own self by his/her life companion ? The subject by itself demands abnegation even for starting to deal with it . As a man I should normaly hide behind the fact that the book is written by a woman and it is talking about the "womans side ". But I know very well that it could be written by a man as well without the need to change almost nothing . (btw , who would dare to name the same book written by a mans hand as "Master" ?

Truth is Pain. Confession demands Abnegation . Reality demands Courage to be described as it is . People dont like truth to be said . They prefer black holes to exist inside them instead of touching their own wounds . Their "settled" way of life and their "civilized" society prefer to call "abnormal" or "illegal" anything goes "out of line". Its easier and more digestable to reject and judge than to project to their own selves anything wich would possibly make them discover their own hidden desires,the sins they dont dare to do ,their own dark side of the moon.

Keeping distance means safety .

Victoria Griffin s "Mistress" is not written for those who chose to be "safe" in their life.

Very good Victoria ! Thank you for giving us the chance to swim deeper in our souls .

Rating:
Summary: Slow in the middle but interesting
Review: This book starts out wonderfully, with autobiographical insight and a smattering of literary references that bring the concept of 'mistress' from the dim past to the present day. It even changed my views about 'polyamory' just a bit. If I would not choose such a lifestyle for myself, I can now at least see the attraction. And I've realized that my role in my monogamous relationship is far more that of 'mistress' rather than that of 'wife'. I agree with the writer that it is far more satisfying to have someone come home to you because he/she wants to be with you than because he/she is legally bound to do so. Where this bogs down is in the literary criticism (about the last half of the book). While I've read most of the works she cites and analyzes, I haven't read them recently enough to appreciate the depth of her scholarly endeavors, and I didn't feel like dropping _The Mistress_ to go re-read them. I'd love to see a literature class in which this book was taught along with the works Griffin critiques.