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Rating: 
Summary: Disagree with secularkangaroo
Review: Although the book opens with a discussion of tragedy of the school shooting at Columbine High School, the purpose of The Epidemic is not to pinpoint an immediate or public causes that causes youths like Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold to do what they did, but to highlight their cases as symptomatic - an extreme one, admittedly - of a broad problem of children who grow up oversaturated with stimuli, incapable of emotional development, and uncontrollable at school and at home. All of these, Shaw says, "are signs that our society has become toxic to children".On this foundation, Shaw's goal is to give instructions for parents in preventing these problems before they arrive. This begins as early as infancy, where Shaw encourages the parent to begin a dialogue with the child (at this early stage, the "dialogue" being nonverbal expressions of affection, such as kisses on the baby's head). While the message for parents to be involved in the child's life seems to be self-evident, pressures for the parents in the workplace can threaten the development of this bond. Also, Shaw is very thorough in instructing parents on the *right* way to develop this bond, mixing anecdotal evidence from his practice with broad guidelines and checklists of symptoms to watch out for, so that the time and effort spent with the child won't be in vain. By focusing on the internal family structure rather than the external factors that might threaten it, Shaw's book avoids criticizing many of the outside cultural factors surrounding the Columbine shooting that others have pointed to (whether correctly or not), and thereby makes the book accessible for parents of nearly every political persuasion who are looking for practical childrearing tips.
Rating:
Summary: An important read for parents with "Difficult" children
Review: As a soon to be father I found this book very interesting. The advice is straight forward and direct without presenting a "one size fits all" solution. I've been around a lot a families with young children and it is clear to me exactly which ones need this book. My friends with a troubled 3 yr old who the well meaning father calls "troubled, with issues" really need this book to take a hard look at reality and what they can change. Don't suffer with a difficult child - try this book. It probably won't help all, but definitely will help most.
Rating: 
Summary: Disagree and learn
Review: I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Shaw a few weeks ago and talking with him at length; I took the opportunity to clarify some things in the book.
Shaw does not claim to have cornered the market on perfect parenting; however, he does have some guidelines on how parents can improve their parenting skills, and more importantly, he makes the reader scrutinize himself/herself.
One of the key things that I took away from the book and our conversation was that parents need to set boundaries and stick to them. It is a child's job to find those boundaries, and if we keep moving them back every time the child gets close, the child will not know how to be a part of society. Set the boundaries and stick to them. That said, you, as the mommy or daddy, get to choose where those boundaries are. Dr. Shaw has his recommendations, but it is up to the parents to actually set them and enforce them.
You can read this book and take away the notion that the sky is falling, or you can go away with the idea that we all have some room to improve. Shaw does not condemn working mothers; he just points out that, if you choose to hold a career outside the home, you give up some ability to foster a relationship with your child. It's not impossible, just harder.
However, Shaw does offer some "take it or leave it" advice--such as not feeding a child at night after six months, never sleeping in the parents' bed, etc. When asked why we, as parents, should do as he says, he responded, "Because I'm the expert." Arrogant? Perhaps, but how many of us have decades of experience in child psychology? I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, with the understanding that in my house, I still have the final say--because I'm the parent.
Much of what is spelled out in "Epidemic" is common sense; however, as Will Rogers put it, "Common sense ain't common." With the barrage of parenting books, each offering a different method, it can be hard to decide what is really common sense. The methodologies in this book might seem reasonable, or they might seem like utter nonsense--but most importantly, reading the book will make you stop and think about what you are doing right and what you are doing wrong.
Rating:
Summary: Disagree with secularkangaroo
Review: I have read Dr. Shaw's wise, wonderful book and wish everyone I know with kids would read it. I have friends whose lives and households are absolutely dominated by their infants or toddlers - who can't eat, shower, wash dishes, have a quiet evening with their spouses or do anything normal because they are so obsessed with gratifying every want expressed by their small children. We need a return to common sense and Dr. Shaw is just reminding us that we have the power to make childrearing an enjoyable and rewarding experience for everyone involved. Let's stop raising brats!!!
Thank you Dr. Shaw!!!
Rating:
Summary: This is well worth the money.
Review: I saw Robert Shaw on CNN a few months ago touting this book. Immediately, I knew I wanted to read it. I have friends that make me feel guilty because my children are well behaved and theirs aren't. This book helped me to validate for myself that my sometimes "harsh" or "strict" ways is in fact training them and providing them with "gifts" they can use over and over again during their lifetime. It is a terrific book for parents who need that encouragement that they are doing the right thing for their children, despite the societal pulls that gnaw at you and your family.
Rating: 
Summary: The sky is falling! The sky is falling!
Review: I'll begin with what I like about this book: The chapter called "The Truth and Consequences of Child Care" is a well done illustration of the rock and the hard place parents are driven to today in order to provide for their children while they are very young. The rest of the book is a suave combination of good advice, observations that should be obvious to anyone, and Chicken Little. Shaw is right that parents who buy their children everything instead of spending time with them are probably going to raise jerks. My guess, though, is that any parent who cares enough to pick up a book about parenting is probably smart enough to figure this out already. Shaw is not right that we are all going to hell in a handbasket. Just look at the title of this book: Epidemic, rot, permissive, plague, joyless, selfish. He's just trying to make money from making people think the world is worse than it actually is. The biggest problem I have with this book is that Shaw seems to think there is only one acceptable parenting style. No baby should be fed at night beyond six months of age? All two-and-a-half-year-olds should be completely potty trained? Forcing your baby to sleep in a crib when both you and the baby would rather sleep together is necessary? I've got news for Shaw: There's more than one way to raise a kid, and implying that a child is going to be a sociopath just because he's still nursing all night at 18 months (or isn't potty trained at 3, or has a parent who adds "okay?" to the end of sentences, or...) is ridiculous. There is more than one way to raise a happy, healthy, well-behaved child. I'm sure the methods Shaw suggests work for some folks, but all children are different and all parents are different and all families are different. Take the good stuff away from this book, and take the rest of it with a can of salt. The sky is not falling.
Rating: 
Summary: Agree with the premise . . .
Review: This book was highly recommended by a friend after a conversation in which we pretty much enthusiastically agreed that permissive parenting has had extremely ill effects on the behavior of children around us. I jumped into reading it wholeheartedly, as I, too, have noticed the "epidemic" of households dominated by preschoolers and adolescents. As a child, we knew how to act in a pizza parlor-- we were there to eat, and sit quietly, and talk nicely-- and we knew the consequences if we did not. I've seen so many children with parents who make excuses that "kids will be kids" or are so afraid of being strict with their children that they train them to be selfish monsters. It truly concerns and disgusts me. I thus agree with Dr. Shaw's thesis and the point he is trying to drive home.
Still, I have some problems with the book. First of all, it is awfully long on strongly worded opinions, and awfully short on any scientific or socially scientific evidence or research. Given his academic medical background, I expected more "research"-- after all an "epidemic" is a scientific term, usually quantified in numbers. Instead, I felt like I was reading the rantings of an old man on a train annoyed at the loud children around him. There just does not seem to be much meat to the book. There are anecdotes of incidents Dr. Shaw sees in restaurants or on a beach, followed by his opinion on them, but little if any in-depth analysis or research or statistics cited. Yes, Dr. Shaw, we all see what is happening, but what makes an interesting BOOK is when you study and quantify the trend, rather than just ranting about your random observations.
The other bone I have to pick is Dr. Shaw's chapter and other references regarding the choice to work outside the home. From reading the book, one would think that a child with two parents working outside the home full time is at a serious disadvantage. Sure, he gives lip service to the idea that SOME mothers (very few) can handle it and do a good parenting job, but really presses that people who must have a 2-career household should find a way to both work 2/3 shifts, or have one parent work at home. I find his discussions problematic on a number of levels. First, there are a number of studies showing that there is little or no effect of parents working outside the home, and that, in fact, children attending quality preschools do better in school and social activities when tested at intervals than do those who stay at home exclusively with their mothers. I'm not sure whether the one study he cites or these other studies are "right," but what bothers me is his complete neglect to even mention or grapple with this conflicting research.
Also, on my own anecdotal level, my husband and I are planning to start a family soon, and have been worried about this issue. I've felt particularly guilty, because my husband is a medical resident making very little money. Sure, I could stay home, but on his salary a family of three would be at the poverty level in a major city like ours. I will go back to work after a 4 month leave, and will return to a job as an attorney. Dr. Shaw acts as though every parent has the "choice" to stay at home and do freelance work of some kind if they need the money, or work night shifts. With our school loans and the cost of college, and the amount of effort it took to become a lawyer, I don't think I'll be giving it up to lick envelopes at home. Still, I wondered if that was selfish, until I looked around me. I have so many girlfriends who are moral, well-balanced, successful amazing women with good family lives, well-behaved children, and great hearts. And every one of them had a working mother, whether she was a CEO, like one friend's mom, a best selling author (another), a doctor (another), a Harvard admission officer (another), a farm worker (another), or a single blue collar mom trying to get by (mine!). I can think of one particular woman who is ill-adjusted, uneducated, bitter, lazy (refused to work before she even had kids, but still complains about what she and her husband can't buy)... and her mother stayed home. I'm NOT saying this is the normal outcome of SAHM's AT ALL-- it is an amazingly noble choice. But my point is simply that Dr. Shaw cites almost no research, and MY anecdotal evidence suggests that good moms are good moms, no matter their choice. He also doesn't address the possibility that perhaps seeing their mothers in such roles provides value to daughters and to sons, and also helps them with gender role stereotypes and work ethic later on.
I could do without the heavy-handed opinions, and would have loved more hard facts and research. I honestly think Dr. Shaw's got it right-- we are raising joyless, selfish children. Permissive parenting has gone awry. Children are way too exposed to media. Parents don't engage themselves enough in their children's friendships, activities, and lives. They don't put enough limitations on them. My mom did a bang-up job at all of these things, and I think that fuels my horror when I see many children who have succumbed to the "epidemic" Shaw desribes. But, Dr. Shaw, show us the facts, show us the research! Especially if you're going to make me feel bad about our choice to be -- GASP-- a 2-full time career family!
I do think that the book would make a great guide for parents who are starting to feel out of control, for new mothers worried about their choices on feeding and sleeping, and for those looking for a good, effective childrearing and disciplinary philosophy.
Rating:
Summary: A must-read for anyone who has a child with behavioral probs
Review: This was a wonderful book, although yes, a little common sense. I do agree that most who are reading this book are probably already doing a great job. I do think though that those who become defensive about his advice may need to think about if it is because his advice rings true?
I do not think at all that he believes there is only one way to raise a child. I do think that it is a lot of info that people who are having issues are not ready to hear. Let's stop blaming our kids for everything and start accepting our own roles as parents!
For what it's worth, I am a therapist and after seeing many sad children in my office whose parents are pointing a finger at them-- I wish I had had this book to give to them.
Rating:
Summary: What would Dr. Moe, Dr. Larry and Dr. Curly say?
Review: Well, there are a few people here who gave reviews that are so long my clothes went out of style while I was reading them. Here's my Cliff's Notes version for the ADHD people.
This is an excellent book, but as Ann Landers (or was it Dear Abby?)always said, people never see themselves in the letters people write about them. It's always somebody else who's doing the wrong thing. I will bet my right arm that no one will see themselves in this one either, other than those few who are ready to see the light. It's kind of an important job, and to think you screwed up? Yikes. That would be painful. But he is right on the money: the lunatics are running the asylum. I can see it in my own life. We all need to grow a backbone and get real, as his emminence, Dr. Phil, is fond of saying.
Rating:
Summary: What the critics say:
Review: WHAT THE CRITICS SAY:
"Refreshingly parent-centered advice. Reading his book is like having a bossy grandmother sit on your shoulder, doling out old-fashioned common sense."
--USA Today
"Good reading for those who just got home from shopping with a screaming kid in tow."
--San Jose Mercury News
"[Shaw] offers suggestions on how to reverse these trends and delivers them reasonably and persuasively, with the passion of a man who has seen it all and can't take any more."
--Chicago Tribune
"A detailed, instructive journey through a child's life . . . filled with concrete examples."
--San Francisco Chronicle Magazine
"Run, don't walk, run, to your nearest bookstore."
--Scripps Howard News Service
"A convincing new book on how not to raise children. . . . I rather hope his book becomes the twenty-first century childcare bible."
--Fay Weldon, The Times (London)
"[The Epidemic] has gone off like a grenade in the trenches of American parenthood."
--Daily Telegraph
"Robert Shaw . . . has taken the U.S. by storm. . . . Parents are getting it wrong. Not just a bit wrong; not just round-the-edges, straighten-things-up-a-bit-and-everything-will-be-OK wrong, but horribly, monumentally wrong."
--The Guardian
"Shaw's book makes an awful lot of sense. . . . This is enormously empowering stuff."
--Daily Mail
"Finally! A book that critically examines the great disservice permissive parenting has done to our attitudes toward children's development. With a wise and knowledgeable tone, Dr. Shaw conveys his belief in our ability to do a good enough job while he helps us see our blind spots and weaknesses. This book will stay with you from your child's conception to adulthood and then be passed on to your children's children."
Dr. Carol J. Eagle, author of All That She Can Be, Past President, The American Orthopsychiatric Association.
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