Rating: 
Summary: Adrift in my fifth IT job in six years ...
Review: Adrift in my fifth IT job in six years, I borrowed this book from a female colleague in the marketing department. I found myself reflecting on the career of my grandfather, a machinist who packed up everything to follow the aircraft industry when it consolidated on the west coast, and was fortunate enough to retire as it started outsourcing work, first to cheaper locations in the US, and then Asia.Faludi is on to something. Her subjects are not archetypes, but they are good anecdotal evidence of something going on, perhaps the inability of large groups of men to prosper and contribute in an increasingly corporate, service-oriented, image-conscious, media-influenced world. The chapters on displaced defense workers and Cleveland Brown fans were especially heart-rending. My one criticism of this book is that the chapters on the Spur Posse and the porn star detracted from the overall thesis. I can understand the author's unwillingness to throw out good research, and the chapters were certainly interesting, but they weakened the overall thesis. She should have restricted her discussion to men and groups whose ways for coping, however dysfunctional, were basically non-pathological and socially acceptable.
Rating: 
Summary: The contradictions between "Stiffed" and "Backlash"...
Review: As a man and Faludi fan, I jumped at this book when it came out. I read Backlash, and found Faludi's arguments urgent and persuasive. It won many awards precisely because it presented exhaustive research and brilliant reportage. In Backlash, Faludi made some very strong, brave claims, and they wound up totally convincing because of her disection of each issue. I was very disappointed when I finished Stiffed, to find that Faludi used the very methods of research she vehemently (and astutely) criticized in Backlash! Backlash was ground-breaking because Faludi dismantled the "research" and "evidence" presented to America by the media, who never bothered to analyze the studies they were reporting on, e.g. irresponsible journalism. She managed to skillfully show how even the studies by top-notch, esteemed scholars were just methodologically flawed, biased diatribes. She even criticizes Queen-Feminist Betty Friedan for asserting in The Second Stage that men may not be able to bend for every feminist demand simply because men already feel so weak in this culture. So, then, after being so impressed by Backlash, I pick up Stiffed. The first chapter is precisly arguing what Friedan (and five or six male authors she included in Backlash) was villified for. But the most glaring, irrepairable flaw in Stiffed, as other reviewers have alluded to, is this: many of the influential research done is the 80's was effectively weakened by Faludi's observation, in Backlash, that small samples were used to explain the attitudes and behaviors of all American women. In fact, THE book on the effects of divorce on women, was viewed as obsolete by Faludi because the author relied on 20 or so women, who were dealing with special circumstances. When reading Stiffed, one can't help but remember this powerful argument against misrepresenting a population. In fact, Faludi, in Stiffed, relies on 10 men...and men who no doubt were included for their unique and extreme situations. Faludi dismissed the women in the divorce study becuase they were welfare recepients, which, she argued, would no doubt present unique struggles. Then, in Stiffed, she asks the reader to accept the underlying issues and negativity in men based on her sample. (Porn Stars, Sylvester Stallone, the Spur Posse, students at the Citadel) You get the point. While the topic of man's futile quest for masculinity is VERY important and relevant, the bottom line is this: AFTER READING STIFFED, ONE CAN'T HELP IMAGINE, HAD IT BEEN WRITTEN BY SOMEONE ELSE, WHAT A BRILLIANT AND ENTERTAINING JOB FALUDI WOULD HAVE DONE BUTCHERING THE METHODOLOGY AND FINDINGS IN HER BOOK BACKLASH! Trust me, this is not the book to read if you were empowered by "Backlash," and want it to remain a source of reference and scholarly achievement.
Rating: 
Summary: She's tied it all together
Review: Displaying fascinating and unique case studies, Faludi's Stiffed is a terrific contemporary sociological analysis of what has been happening to the American male over the last forty years. She's definitely hit on something and her conclusions seem to be right on the mark. To boil down the six-hundred odd pages into a succinct conclusion: Faludi combines bad dads, the U.S. culture of superficial consumerism, and of course the diminishing amount of well paying, unionized blue-collar jobs, to prove that many American men have been getting kicked in the teeth over the last four decades. Faludi does a tremendous amount of leg work in interviewing everyone from male porn studs and ghetto gangsters to midwest gun huggers and fanatical football fans. The most jaw-dropping chapter is her analysis of the bullying and hazing that goes on at the Citadel. Here is a bunch of macho superpatriots who have bought into the American dream their entire lives, yet when they graduate they'll have a good chance of serving drinks at Orange Julius (through no fault of their own and much like college grads everywhere).
She does a masterful job of dissecting the after effects of the My Lai massacre, specifically how American life has treated both Lt. Calley and the heroic whistleblower. Moreover Faludi documents all sorts of bizzare behavior on behalf of virtually the entire My Lai platoon. Stiffed is almost seven hundred pages and contains loads of information, but because it's so interesting and well written, and includes the unique dynamic of having a feminist intellectual lending her talents to the plight of the American man, it's quite an enthralling and fascinating read. I left this book thinking that Faludi's really tied it all together and has come up with a coherent, holistic and acurate picture of what's actually been going on. Stiffed is an excellent addition to Faludi's library which contains the already classic "Backlash." If you've read either one, than you owe it to yourself to read the other.
Rating: 
Summary: Terrible
Review: Faludi starts with the best intentions- to find out why modern men feel alienated in America. Then flat out denies that it couldn't have anything to do with the actions of women, particularly the feminist attacks on male traditions. This is, of course, trash. Men are so confused today because we are told that we need to be sensitive and understanding, then are castigated for not having backbones. We are told that our decision to have a child or not is put 100% in the hands of a woman, but we're still on the hook for 50% (at least) of the bill. We are told how abusive we are, when the statistics clearly show women are just as abusive as men. Civil law is written not to protect women, but to take revenge on men because women are automatically seen as victims. Men are assumed guilty till proven innocent (Kobe Bryant and Adam Lack at Brown University). Women live an average of 7 years longer than women (100 years ago life expectancy for women was the same as for men), but 69% of the research done by the NIH is directed towards women's health to deal with the 'health crisis' women face today. Also, women think they can raise their sons to be men. Just as men can't teach their daughters to be women, women can't teach their sons to be men. Boys need men to teach them. This need gets stronger with each passing year as boys grow up. Finally, when boys are teenagers, fathers are much more important to the development of boys than their mothers. This too is dismissed by Faludi. Women these days are reluctant to cut the maternal ties to their sons, not allowing them to become independent. This, in effect, stunts boys' emotional growth. It is true that in the past, men needed to understand the needs of women. The world changed to recognize this. Today, women are better off than at any other time in history. Today, though, if we tell women they need to understand our needs, we are decried as misogynists. Just as men need to understand women, women need to understand men. All Faludi looks at are the symptoms and outcomes of alienation, not the causes. Don't waste your time with this book. I could only get through the first 150 pages before I had to stop reading. If you are truly interested in the problems facing modern men go to http://www.menweb.org/, and if you are interested in problems facing both men and women go to http://www.ifeminists.net/index.php (Wendy McElroy is an excellent source).
Rating:
Summary: Terrible
Review: Faludi starts with the best intentions- to find out why modern men feel alienated in America. Then flat out denies that it couldn't have anything to do with the actions of women, particularly the feminist attacks on male traditions. This is, of course, trash. Men are so confused today because we are told that we need to be sensitive and understanding, then are castigated for not having backbones. We are told that our decision to have a child or not is put 100% in the hands of a woman, but we're still on the hook for 50% (at least) of the bill. We are told how abusive we are, when the statistics clearly show women are just as abusive as men. Civil law is written not to protect women, but to take revenge on men because women are automatically seen as victims. Men are assumed guilty till proven innocent (Kobe Bryant and Adam Lack at Brown University). Women live an average of 7 years longer than women (100 years ago life expectancy for women was the same as for men), but 69% of the research done by the NIH is directed towards women's health to deal with the 'health crisis' women face today. Also, women think they can raise their sons to be men. Just as men can't teach their daughters to be women, women can't teach their sons to be men. Boys need men to teach them. This need gets stronger with each passing year as boys grow up. Finally, when boys are teenagers, fathers are much more important to the development of boys than their mothers. This too is dismissed by Faludi. Women these days are reluctant to cut the maternal ties to their sons, not allowing them to become independent. This, in effect, stunts boys' emotional growth. It is true that in the past, men needed to understand the needs of women. The world changed to recognize this. Today, women are better off than at any other time in history. Today, though, if we tell women they need to understand our needs, we are decried as misogynists. Just as men need to understand women, women need to understand men. All Faludi looks at are the symptoms and outcomes of alienation, not the causes. Don't waste your time with this book. I could only get through the first 150 pages before I had to stop reading. If you are truly interested in the problems facing modern men go to http://www.menweb.org/, and if you are interested in problems facing both men and women go to http://www.ifeminists.net/index.php (Wendy McElroy is an excellent source).
Rating:
Summary: Collectively men run the world. Individually, we don't.
Review: I believe there have been some major misconceptions about this book. I have heard it said that for men to complain about being mistreated or disenfranchised, white men no less, is a slap in the face to anyone who is "really" disenfranchised. Therefore books like this amount to little more than whining because, after all, it is white men who run this world. How can people who run the world feel disenfranchised within it? The answer is found in the title of my review: collectively men do run the world, individually we don't. I was not, by virtue of having been born male, given the golden key to unlock the door to limitless opportunities. All people suffer in this world, and men - even white men - are people. In this book Susan Faludi attempts to understand the suffering men are enduring at the end of the 20th century and the dawn of the 21st. My feeling is that part of the outcry against this book is the fact that it is written not only by a woman, but a well-known feminist woman. And the subject, the sense of betrayal felt by men in the United States, could very easily be interpreted as man-bashing. Is this just another woman shaking her finger at us and rubbing our noses in our mistakes? Saying that we are such idiots that, despite the fact that the world is dominated by and geared toward us, we still find life difficult? Is she saying we are just a bunch of losers? Maybe this book is really threatening because silence and denial of pain is often a mark of masculinity. Men suffer in silence. That's what we are taught. We don't seem to want to break the code of silence, and least of all do we want a woman to break it for us. The myth of masculinity holds that men are not supposed to feel any pain; if we feel pain then we are not "real men." In this book Susan Faludi argues that many of us are in a lot of pain, largely stemming from the breakdown of father/son relationships, and then she offers compassion for that pain. Is this a mother kissing our wounded knee to make it better, and embarrassing us in front of all the boys on our block? And reminding us that, contrary to our delusions, we are still just boys? Actually, Susan Faludi isn't saying any of this. What she is saying is that times have changed and that - perhaps this is what is most painful of all for us to hear - this is not so much a "man's world" anymore. The model of masculinity many of us are working under, or are trying to work under, is now outdated. "One day son, you too could be President of this great land of ours" is not so readily believable anymore. Reality has set in, and it is a different reality from what our fathers had prepared us for - given, of course, that we had fathers at all. I don't believe that it is a slap in the face of anyone who suffers to suggest that men suffer as well. Men do suffer, and part of our suffering stems from not knowing what is expected of us anymore. What role are we to fulfill? How are we useful anymore? Are we gentlemen for opening the door for her? Or are we chauvinists for even considering it? Are we losers for even having to ask? Maybe we are just people, people who, like everyone, often feel let down by the realities of living in this world. And, by the way, the fact that men suffer is not an excuse for the fact that men often make others suffer - and Faludi suggests no such thing in this work. No, the sample of men she interviews is not entirely representative of the average man. And the fact that most of the men she talks to are from occupations that are now faltering will obviously lead to the same conclusion, a feeling of betrayal and disillusionment. But my opinion is that any book that suggests we take another look at the role of men, and the importance of the father/son relationship, and suggests that we may be human after all, is valuable. I am thankful that Susan Faludi wrote this book, and I even told her so when I met her at a book signing tour promoting this book. "The great thing about being a man in this country," reads a satirical email I recently received, "is that you could be president - in this lifetime. The bad thing is that if you get your hand cut off at work, you may be called a 'sissy' if you cry." But let me ask you: how many of us are really going to sit behind that desk in the Oval Office? Last I checked, that job is pretty much prohibitive for the average man. The rest of us continue to get our hands cut off and yet are afraid to cry for fear of dispelling a myth that does not even apply anymore. We need a new myth, one that allows for men to admit to feeling pain. One that allows for men to express pain and still be recognized as men. In STIFFED: THE BETRAYAL OF THE AMERICAN MALE, Faludi suggests just that - the creation of a new myth or model. Until that time, we can hold on to the myth of masculine invulnerability. We can hold on to the myth . . . the myth that is killing us.
Rating:
Summary: A book to talk about
Review: I have issues with my father, and other issues with my sons. I'm not a feminist, but an ally of feminism. I've been seeking ways to redefine the expectations called "manhood" since my divorce more than a decade ago. I've seen men's movements that get their agenda by taking the opposite position of NOW on every point, and I've heard "enlightened men" claim they'd prefer to live in a matriarchy. Men often feel stiffed, and they're often unreasonably concerned with remaining stiff. So, when an acclaimed feminist takes on manhood in America and listens well, it merits my attention. Faludi's book is based on in-depth interviews of porn stars and movie stars, conspiracy theorists and promise keepers, displaced workers and juvenile deliquents. What holds the book together is the methodology Faludi employed, although she never explains it as such. She sought far and wide for "men in crisis". She tells a good story, an interesting story, and one that will ring true for a great many men, as well as the women who love them and hate them. She tells this story well. One of the consistent themes in the book is a gap between expectations and reality for men of the post-WWII generation, and the crisis of identity they've bequeathed to their sons. This crisis is not the whole story, but it is certainly a major chord. Faludi tells it long, and she keeps you reading. _Stiffed_ is a big book, and those who want her to get to the point and explain what it all means will be disappointed. The few tentative conclusions she draws are shallow and incomplete. It is the process that interests her, rather than the conclusion (some might say that is one of the ways her feminist perspective shows through). However, in this process she leaves out a critical element. She writes of sons and their fathers, but says very little about these sons as fathers. This book appealed to me as a divorced father of two sons, a widowed father of a third, and now step-father to another. None of these roles are highlighted in the lives of the men she interviewed. In a story that often focuses on father-son relationships, Faludi misses the third generation. All this is to say that _Stiffed_ is a flawed book, but it is one of the best flawed books I've read. And despite its flaws, it's well worth reading and discussing. In ten years this book will be forgotten, but only because people have read it, argued with it, and following a similar process have written more.
Rating:
Summary: Just read it.....not the reviews
Review: I put off reading this book so long because I listened too much to the reviews. Actually, it was a review by Katha Pollitt, a writer I admire immensely that precipitated my reading of the book... my thanks be to her for that.
There is so much written about this book on this site that it often obscures the true value of the book. Most of the negative reviews are prickly and leave one wondering if the reviewer has read the book. Much of the focus of the anti reviews seem to be self defensive at best and often anti-feminist and oftentimes an excuse to mount their particular hobby horse of women being the reason for all bad things.
This is a valuable, even-handed book. Faludi delineates the quandary of the modern man with sensitivity and insight, just as many first generation feminist writers did the same for women. I won't go into the meat of the book as so many of the other reviewers, both pro and con, have done this. It is perhaps overlong but the message is so important this is a trivial caveat.
An important book and highly recommended.
Rating:
Summary: Excellent!!!
Review: I was very impressed with Susan's fair and balanced portrayal of men being held accountable by women for power they never had, especially the children of the WWII veterans and subsequent generations. It shows how men feel punished(ands rightfully so) by women on a number of levels. What Susan does is shed great insight from firsthand interviews and background research on how all this has been unfair to men and resulted bitterness towards women.
Though a totally solid solution is absent, this will go a lonngggg way to explaining why the war between men and women in society began and is still taking place to the unhappiness and detriment of both.
Rating:
Summary: SO I give up ....
Review: I'll grant Ms Faludi her presmise -- the need to understand the male psyche in a review of those who have failed and/or suffered the losses of the post WW II generation. But: -- Okay, the citizen soldier was an American hero. And yes, soldiers did learn to support, perhaps even "mother" each other through the war. But, let's not forget that this was all involved with the business of men working together to kill ... other men. Ms Faludi's feminist tools could have been very valuable in exploring this truth. Women have long understood how they have been their own worst enemies. I wonder about the blindness to the legacy of violence created by service in WW II. It certainly undercuts the basis of some of the book's attmept to model male virtue based on the GI. -- Second, to give the book its due, there's lots of good stuff here. I wince at some of the things we do as men, and the book is painfully accurate in places. The blind and silly devotion to sports, the empty whininess of her most failed characters, the goofy self-promotion of the Media-crazed Spurs, all left me wriggling uncomfortably in my chair. It probably would do us a fair amount of good to re-evualte our obsession with sport and "fame." -- Finally, I'm disappointed that a man hasn't written and published a book of this length, stature, and general public presence. Wonder why not? Would it have trouble being published? But I'm most disapointed with Ms Faludi's complete ignorance of the Men's movement. She dismisses the work of Bly, Hillman, Moore and so many others in a way that's almost irresponsible. Certainly, if she'd investigated these in greater detail, she might have found active and successful models of men caring for, supporting, and initiating other men. That may not have been the "job" of the book, it would have yielded a more positive assessment of men's attempts to survive the "disenfranchisement" and loss of the post-war years. One more thought ... and I'm overstating it, but someone ought to ask the question .... Does Ms Faludi like men at all? How? When? At the end of the day, I really don't know what -- if anything -- about men as a gender that she likes.
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