Suddenly Strangers

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Summary: Author's Abstract for "Suddenly Strangers"
Review: (Note to Amazon: As an author, I prefer you do not include my number rating of the book. I rate it only because it is required to submit this review.)

We grew up in the rural west in a society dominated by our uniquely American Church, in a faithful Mormon family of eleven children. It was like being raised in heaven. We sang in choirs, milked cows, played sports in high school, distinguished ourselves in mathematics, and at age nineteen, we each dedicated two years of our lives to proselytize our beloved faith in New Zealand and Korea. As we continued in our devotions to God and in our whole-souled quest for exaltation, one of us completed a Master of Science degree in mathematics at Brigham Young University while the other completed a Ph.D. in mathematics at The University of Texas. We both taught mathematics in the college ranks, married beautiful, faithful, hard working women, and started raising children as delightful as any father has ever loved.

We had complete confidence in our God, the eternal essence of our cherished family unit, and we knew the cardinal purpose and nature of the universe. We knew we were a peculiar people; God's chosen, to be exact. The fruits of abundant goodness and accomplishments within the Church were only part of the ample proof of its divine origin. We were at once proud of and humbled by God's goodness to us and for entrusting us with His priesthood.

No unflattering history of our Church by anti-Mormons could divert our lofty gaze. No scientific theory could shake our belief in God's version of the earth's history, the origin of humankind, or in our belief that we were gods in embryo. We looked with pity and wonder at those who would not acknowledge the logic, beauty, and promise of "the only true and living church on the face of the earth." For those few who apostatized from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we felt mild contempt and took solace in knowing that God would deal with them appropriately. We considered our confidence in honest and critical analysis to be compatible with our religious faith. We willingly withheld judgment on the puzzle pieces that did not quite fit.

When sufficiently discomforting observations finally drove us to double check our religious facts, the spiritual crash came with stunning speed and impact. Much of what we once cherished did not survive the initial blow. After the crash, a long and difficult journey began. While under condemnation from family and friends, our stream of jarring discoveries, from months of intense research and introspection, left us feeling embarrassed, angry, amused, bewildered, and invigorated. We also gained new friends and a new world view from some welcomed insights and surprises.

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Summary: Clear, competent, articulate -- a masterpiece.
Review: Among books on Mormonism, this would rate six stars if that many were available. The two brother-authors take you inside Mormonism, present and past, from two honest and intelligent viewpoints. You'll live with them through their upbringing, family life, missionary years, rearing of children. They'll walk you through an unusually masterful presentation of inconsistencies, contradictions and conundrums within the Mormon world (which I know well, having been in it from birth, still a member of record active on an infrequent basis).

Though the church's astonishingly massive lying is clearly and accurately exposed, it is done with understanding, not rancor or bitterness. Sordid reality is documented alongside of the wonderfully enchanting positive side that so many Mormons experience and that most public-relations descriptions feature.

This is poignant, powerful, lyrical writing, not ordinarily to be expected from a couple of "numbers-people," not "word-people." That is, an experienced reader would guess something other than math & science as the academic training of these surprisingly gifted writers.

For those who want a candid and clear view of the best and worst of Mormonism, there is no better book. This spectacular presentation is, without exaggeration, simply in a class by itself. (And, no, I've never met them and have no connection with them.)

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Summary: Their lessons learned can be applied beyond Mormonism
Review: I am a person who is actively participating in a spiritual journey (in a primarily protestant Christian paradigm). In my personal search to broaden my mind about 'who' and 'in what paradigms' God can work, I started reading a lot of books on the LDS faith. My interest in the LDS faith stems from the fact that I had been taught as a child, that the LDS faith was a cult and that, as such, no good thing could come from it. However, I have encountered Mormons here in Idaho that I believe show evidence of a relationship with God. I am not talking about the mandatory 'doing good works' type of fruit, rather I am talking about the type of fruit that I think is not possible to fake: the fruit of love, kindness, and compassion. I see the same evidence of God's hand in Brad's and Chris' life as they share their experience of their spiritual journey.

There are other books that more thoroughly illuminate a broader swath of LDS history, and there are other books that look more in depth at an individual's experience of specific historical issues such as 'plural marriage', but I have yet to read a book that describes so well what it is like to be a contemporary, committed LDS person who has a collision with the documented history of the LDS faith of which they had been kept in the dark.

Ironically, despite the supposed differences between a protestant's spiritual journey and, an LDS' spiritual journey, I found our spiritual journeys to be more similar than different. The process of first being trained up in and absorbing one's parents religious perspective; going to an organizational meeting frequently (church service, ward) and absorbing the 'culture' of that group; seeing as sacred the traditions/culture of the group; having authority figures that are granted considerable power and are perceived as more spiritual than others; experiencing those same authorities lose their 'pedestal' status as their human foibles and flaws become more evident; reconsidering the sacred nature of group's traditions/group culture; learning how one's own church history has some ugly, self-serving, definitly unloving events/people in it; deconstructing ones spiritual paradigm (the quicker task); and then facing the seemingly overwhelming task of reconstructing a spiritual paradigm (I think this will be a life-long task).

Beyond this book's interesting LDS history and the authors' poignant sharing, if you are on a spiritual journey that has taken you through the forest of organized religion, I think you will find much you can relate with in this book, in form if not in essence.

Rating:
Summary: Their lessons learned can be applied beyond Mormonism
Review: I am a person who is actively participating in a spiritual journey (in a primarily protestant Christian paradigm). In my personal search to broaden my mind about 'who' and 'in what paradigms' God can work, I started reading a lot of books on the LDS faith. My interest in the LDS faith stems from the fact that I had been taught as a child, that the LDS faith was a cult and that, as such, no good thing could come from it. However, I have encountered Mormons here in Idaho that I believe show evidence of a relationship with God. I am not talking about the mandatory 'doing good works' type of fruit, rather I am talking about the type of fruit that I think is not possible to fake: the fruit of love, kindness, and compassion. I see the same evidence of God's hand in Brad's and Chris' life as they share their experience of their spiritual journey.

There are other books that more thoroughly illuminate a broader swath of LDS history, and there are other books that look more in depth at an individual's experience of specific historical issues such as 'plural marriage', but I have yet to read a book that describes so well what it is like to be a contemporary, committed LDS person who has a collision with the documented history of the LDS faith of which they had been kept in the dark.

Ironically, despite the supposed differences between a protestant's spiritual journey and, an LDS' spiritual journey, I found our spiritual journeys to be more similar than different. The process of first being trained up in and absorbing one's parents religious perspective; going to an organizational meeting frequently (church service, ward) and absorbing the 'culture' of that group; seeing as sacred the traditions/culture of the group; having authority figures that are granted considerable power and are perceived as more spiritual than others; experiencing those same authorities lose their 'pedestal' status as their human foibles and flaws become more evident; reconsidering the sacred nature of group's traditions/group culture; learning how one's own church history has some ugly, self-serving, definitly unloving events/people in it; deconstructing ones spiritual paradigm (the quicker task); and then facing the seemingly overwhelming task of reconstructing a spiritual paradigm (I think this will be a life-long task).

Beyond this book's interesting LDS history and the authors' poignant sharing, if you are on a spiritual journey that has taken you through the forest of organized religion, I think you will find much you can relate with in this book, in form if not in essence.

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Summary: ~
Review: I thought the book was interesting and informative.

It's basically divided into 2 parts, in my mind. On one hand the authors walk you through their thought processes as they make their decisions.

Other parts of the book give background info about the church, it's beliefs, and history.

I'd say it's a great resource for anyone who's curious about the Mormon church in general, or thinking about leaving the church.

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Summary: Read it - if only to understand....
Review: In the six years that I've lived in Salt Lake City, I've been struggling to figure out what motivates Mormons to act the way they do - their bizarre behavior - especially toward people who are not of their faith. This well written, fast reading book gave me insight that I haven't been able to glean from a number of similar books (mostly because they were written with what I felt was a bit to much bitterness and exaggeration). "Suddenly Strangers" has a great mix of personal history and well researched Mormon history that I think anyone wishing to just understand the Mormon behavior and thought process will find valuable.

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Summary: The unmistakable ring of truth
Review: So much of anti-Mormon literature is boring, rote, intellectually dishonest and laughably lightweight. This book is none of those things. It doesn't fall into the normal anti-Mormon trap of hysterics (usually expressed through interesting typography like bolding, underlining, italics, exclamation points and all caps -- and sometimes all at once), hyperbole and sloppy reasoning. The book instead sets up the classic paradigm of pitting a priori knowledge against a posteriori knowledge. Happily for Chris and Brad, Locke wins over Descartes.

But this is more than just two peoples' struggle to square historical reality with their religious instruction. It's also a tale of morality, a tale of what one's ultimate values are. It really is, in its small way, a tale of courage. Paul Tillich defined courage as the doing of something "in spite of." At any time, either Brad or Chris could have given up their search for truth with few ill effects. Instead they chose to do the right thing in their minds and both suffered much, and risked much more, as a result.

Additionally, the book is actually quite humorous in parts. I particularly enjoyed the varied and sometime hilarious reactions of siblings and relatives. Everything from "Don't come near my children!" from a sister to serene acceptance from a brother. And Brad's and Chris' parents deserve gold stars for not freaking out like so many of their children did.

However, the book does have some drawbacks. Throughout the book but particularly in the later chapters, the brothers take aim needlessly at various Mormon doctrines. Obviously, some discussion of the questionable events and practices surrounding Mormonism are necessary to understanding why the brothers apostasized in the first place, but toward the end of the book it seems that they employ a shotgun approach, commenting not only on the big issues such as BofM unsubstantiated archeology, polygamy and Blacks and the priesthood, but also on more obscure and less relevant controversies such as Brigham Young's reputed anti-Semitism, the post hoc inclusion of prophesies, Mountain Meadows, Adam-God and blood atonement. It seems that Brad and Chris are merely showing off their knowledge of these issues, as opposed to demonstrating how these issues actually played a decisive role in their apostasy.

Nevertheless, this is an outstanding book and the first anti-Mormon book I've read that has honest emotions and reasoning woven throughout. I found myself nodding in agreement at parallels to my own religious experience, most importantly the experience of fear of confronting received religious faith and the satori of understanding that the defect had been within me all along. I have felt what Brad felt: "I was alarmed by the discovery of my own moral arrogance, by how condescending and intolerant I had been...I [realized I] am the master of my own deceit."

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Summary: A Mormon tragedy
Review: Think, for a moment, of your closest confidant, kindred spirit, and soul mate. Now imagine waking to find they no longer know you. They hardly recognize your face, no longer understand what you are thinking, or share your deepest feelings and greatest fears. They look at you - no, they look through you - as if you are a stranger.

Though you might never guess it from the slick, family-centered commercials they air, this is the all-to-common heritage for thinking members of the Mormon Church, who take the difficult road to intellectual apostasy.

"Suddenly Strangers" is the story of two brothers who were raised in Utah, in an "all-American family" complete with doting mother, devoted father, loyal siblings, and a deep attentiveness to their religious faith. It's hard to think of a more fitting picture than sun-speckled boys and girls working the family farm during the week while attending their deep religious Mormon faith, members of arguably the most successful and fastest-growing American-born religion.

Theirs is the story of courageous intellectual strength resulting in their eventual departure from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and subsequent journey into that realm where family and friends became, suddenly, strangers.

Few religions castigate their apostates as viciously as does the Mormon Church. Those who dare leave discover siblings and once-close friends who now view them contemptuously as misguided at best, and lost souls, or Sons of Perdition, at worst. It is a legacy of shattered familial relationships and lost friends. Parents grieve with despair at the thought of spiritual consequences darker than death. Local congregations whisper quietly while busybodies speculate about the cause of such wickedness in their mists, and wonder in awe at what great sin (was it adultery or fornication?) lead the apostate to lose his way and succumb to the temptations of the devil.

It's a tale as old as the church itself, but this story loses its effectiveness in the abstract, antiseptic environment of statistics and detached descriptive verse. This is a story that truly can only be lived. For everyone else there are the heart-felt stories of people like Brad and Chris who, through their engaging accounts, have offered us a the opportunity to see life through the eyes of just two of many fine and honest intellectuals who finally found the courage to say "No." "No" to the lies, and "no" to the deception.

In reading this book, you will experience the early exuberance of being a member of the "only true church," content to accept without question whatever your leaders tell you. You'll follow the metamorphosis from unquestioning sheep to thoughtful and critical explorer. Through these pages you will experience the simultaneous despair of learning a lifetime of indoctrination was based on lies, while at the same time learning the un-paralleled exuberance of finally being free to let your intellect soar. And through it all you will see the sudden transformation of family and friends from dearest companions to strangers.

Each person who makes this choice arrives at the conclusion in his or her own personal way. For some it is the many conflicts between Mormonism and science. For others, Brad and Chris included, it is the way the Mormon Church denies some of its most embarrassing and controversial doctrines in public, and misleads its members regarding the role the Church played in Utah's past. Two issues are particularly worth noting. One is the ethical problem of misrepresenting doctrine, and the other is the intellectual problem of holding on to "the only true and living church," given the violent, sexist, and racist doctrines of some LDS prophets such as Brigham Young.

Although the real power of this book is on the emotional level in describing the reaction that Mormons often (typically?) have when someone leaves the fold, Brad and Chris have included some helpful and interesting historical and factual information as well (found in the appendixes). The information relates primarily to two areas: the church's past denial of, and involvement in, polygamy, and especially the unholy tendency of some early leaders to acquire the wives of other men. It most definitely was not (as I was taught) a case of "old women" being given in plural marriage as an act of charity. Rather, it has all the characteristics of good old carnal lust.

The other area relates to violent doctrines taught by early prophets of the church relating to what's called "blood atonement," where the offending Latter-day Saint is expected to relinquish their life (slitting the throat is the prescribed method) in order to atone for sins (like apostasy from the church) that are not covered by Jesus' atonement. The appendix material describes these teachings in detail with excerpts from early church documents, and shows how the bloody sermons of Brigham Young and other Mormon General Authorities led to such horrific crimes as the murders at Mountain Meadows.

For those who have an interest in Mormonism, and want to get a clearer look at the human equation, this book is a must. It's well written, engaging, informative, and (gauging from my own experience) both accurate and relatively typical.

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Summary: I was undone by their honesty...they're telling the truth.
Review: This book is a great way to tell your LDS loved ones the truth...namely that the Mormon church isn't true. I was a (TBM, "born in the covenant", RM, BYU graduate, etc.) kind of Mormon. I really had a difficult time discovering that the LDS church is built on a foundation of lies...completely devastating. Books like this make me realize that I am not alone and help with my recovery from Mormonism. The authors are to be lauded for their honesty and courage.

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Summary: A HEROIC STRUGGLE FOR SPIRITUAL FREEDOM
Review: This book is a well written and very powerful account of the struggle by two brothers who came from a large L.D.S. family who were thoroughly indoctinated with Mormonism. They were brainwashed even from their cribs. These two young men both went on full time L.D.S. missions and did everything right according to Mormonism. Then as professional mathematicians, they finally began to see some serious problems with official Mormon history and church doctrine that created some major damage to their Mormon thought filters. Their heroic struggle over a period of years to discover the truth about Mormonism caused them to be ostracized by many close family members who had been taught that this is the way God wants believers to treat "apostates." (They suddenly became strangers.) I highly recommend this book to all Mormons and also to all Christians who are considering Mormonism.