Rating: 
Summary: Overkill
Review: This book made two important points. First, if you don't like the way your ex parents your kids after your divorce, that's too bad. Why do divorced parents think they can dictate to each other how to parent? Part of getting a divorce is relinquishing all control you had over your former spouse. Unless your ex is abusing your children and you are ready to press formal charges, don't expect your ex to be interested in your criticisms of him or her. Second, if your kids are complaining to you about what goes on when they're with your ex, the best thing you can do for your kids is to refuse to play the middleman and insist the kids work out their problems with your ex themselves. I think these are both good points, but this book gets caught up in hashing through all the detailed "methods" you can use to figure out what to do when problems come up. One that seemed particularly useless to me was using the "broken record" approach when communicating with your ex, just repeating what you want over and over. Not very mature or solution-oriented. This book also took an old-fashioned approach to custody, assuming that one parent (usually the mom) is the real parent and the visiting parent is mostly just a pain. For a healthier view of post-divorce parenting, see "Mom's House, Dad's House," "The Custody Revolution: the Father Factor and the Motherhood Mystique," and "Children of Divorce: a Developmental Approach to Residence and Visitation." My recommendation to parents is first, to accept that you can't tell your ex how to act, and second, to try one of the books listed above or "Why Did You Have to Get a Divorce? And When Can I Get a Hamster?" for a more grown-up approach to helping your kids through a very difficult time.
Rating: 
Summary: I recommend this book often
Review: This is a very practical, helpful book--much more so than the title implies! However, the title gets people who are teed off at their ex, and not in the mood to cooperate or get along, to read it. They think, "Hey, yeah, my ex is a jerk! I need this book!" But the book is really about treating others with respect, no matter how they act, and the positive effects such an approach can have. I'm here to tell you it works--I had my own "jerk," and in the three years since we separated, you would not believe how far we've come. I'm an attorney, and I get a lot of requests for help in joint custody situations. I think "Jerk" should be required reading.
Just don't let the kids see it, because it is bad form to call their parent a jerk!
Rating: 
Summary: Terrific hands-on text on ways to negotiate with an exspouse
Review: We use this text in our "Parents Beyond Conflict" course in Portland, Oregon. Parents obtain a real benefit from the concrete examples of ways of processing conflict and communicating legitimate need to the other parent. It is easy to read and has helped most of the parents who have participated in our course.
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