Rating: 
Summary: Real Boys
Review: Real Boys by William Pollack, Ph.D. is a definite resource for any educator or parent. Although the content of the book does not seem to present "new" evidence or findings, the material forces the reader to become more aware of the moral and emotional development of boys in constant struggle with the Boy Code and our adult reactions to this struggle. The case histories offered in this book are concrete examples of a variety of developmental issues, such as sensitivity, separation, relationships, adolescent sexuality and expressions of love and anger. Even if these individual cases had been fictitious, the description of the difficulties experienced by the characters and the solutions suggested were food for thought. Only one example of these readings would be the connection referred to in the section on the generative father. The reference to the Biblical characters of Abraham and Isaac is used in this book as an example of the care for the next generation. This section on the father-son relationship took on a whole new perspective after I read that reference. Real Boys refers to the protection of the father for his son. If one continues with this thought, the occasion of the exchange was during the binding of Isaac as a sacrifice. Abraham says, "I am here, my son." Any book, in this case Real Boys, that inspires the reader to continue contemplating and searching beyond the written word, is worthwhile to read. This connection of our modern problems to an ancient relationship is only a hint of the interesting connections in Real Boys. Through the use of specific case histories and the general information such as the delineation of myths and truths, views on man's work, sports, peer pressure and what parents, families and educators can do, Real Boys contained theory and practice in one easy to read book. The section on depression describes particular instances and assists the reader in recognizing the telltale signs of depression. One can refer back to any of the sections in this book, as the situations arise. From the preliminary stages of repressed expression to the extreme of violence and suicide, the reader can take whatever tidbit might be helpful from this useful information. These sections are written with the straightforward language of any lay person, while noting the appropriate time to seek a referral for a professional.Many resource books regarding development are either theory or practice using excessive technical jargon or superficial examples. Real Boys presents some obvious observations regarding the emotional and moral development of boys and other insights which may not be as overtly expressed. The Boy Code referred to several times in this book is not a unique concept and one that most individuals, if asked, would agree exists. The utility of such a realization, that such a "standard" exists, is similar to the awareness of the usage of "wait time" in the classroom. Most educators, without realizing, wait seconds for a student's response to a question. By identifying "wait time" and including this area in the evaluation of a teacher, the teacher becomes more conscious of this tendency and more conscientious in waiting a few more "seconds" for a response. "Wait time" still exists, as does the Boy Code, but the adult's reaction may become more patient, sensitive and effective. Real Boys conveys the message that our responses to such a code can make the difference in the appropriate cessation of certain expectations from boys which may not be realistic, reasonable or healthy and the perpetuation of the expectations which encourage healthy emotional and sensitive moral growth for any child. Discussion and practical attention to these issues may result in the increased awareness of how we treat each other and a decrease in the behavior that negatively reinforces their perpetuation, particularly in our schools.
Rating: 
Summary: NOT for parents
Review: I read a different book every month on some issue related to parenting, and this was one of the least helpful or relevant. Much of it was pedantic, some of it was common sense, and a lot of it was just plain not rooted in, or applicable to, reality but was instead too laboratory based. I would not be at all surprised if the author has no children of his own. However, I do appreciate the overall concept of what he is discussing and the book does provide some food for thought.
Rating:
Summary: Rereading Real Boys
Review: As a father of one son in 1999, I initially read Real Boys, and was extremely moved, both at the insights to my life and to how to help my son. How many times has my wife or mother, sensing something wrong with me, asked 'what's going on?' My refrain, constantly, is 'not much'. How much better a platform for conversation is it to shoot hoops with me, or prune the roses, or clean the garage?
Now in 2005 I have two sons and a daughter, and I thought it was an appropriate time to re-read the book. My oldest son is in school, playing sports, and starting to eschew all feminine. Last night I curled on the couch in the semidarkness and began the book. Tears streamed down my face for much of the first couple of chapters. Toward the end of the evening, my wife walked down the hallway toward me. Before she got there, I wiped any tears from eyes and cheeks and got ready to respond to her throw away question 'what's up' with my 'not much.'
Rating:
Summary: Coddling is not the answer
Review: This was a book I was assigned to read for a graduate level diversity class. In a group consistng of myself and three women, our opinions on specific topics in the book varied. However, we all felt that the author was telling us that we need to coddle our boys.
In "Teachers as Cultural Workers"(1998), Paulo Freire discusses the differences between authoritative, authoritarian, and passive teaching, with the passive approach caused by parents and teachers "coddling" the child. Boys do need to be expressive, but not to the extent that Pollack would have.
The other issue I have with the book is his noted studies. Not only is the reader left not knowing which study belongs to which statement, but also some of the studies are extremely outdated. For example, Pollack notes results of a study linking gay boys to being hereditary through a report from 1953! ...
Rating:
Summary: Our Boys Need Our Help
Review: William Pollack has called us all to action to save our boys. He has researched and captured the problems that our boys face today. Read this book and hear our boys cry for help. Share these insights with your friends and family, and make a difference to help save our boys.
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