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If Only He Knew

If Only He Knew

List Price: $5.99
Your Price: $5.39
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Not aware of my insensitivity
Review: I read this book after my marriage was falling apart. After reading the book and following the advice my marriage is again looking up. Hopefully more men in trouble in their relationships will take the time to read this book prior to calling an end to their marriages.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Should be Required Reading for males 16 years and over
Review: I read this book as part of a small group at church called Joshua's Men. I had already adapted much of my "lovestyle" to many of the concepts in Gary's book. However, there are some crucial points that Gary makes that stab deeply at most men I know, myself included. I you have the guts to read this, and want to have a better life and a better relationship with your wife, or any woman... then you better read this... NOW!!! It will be the best little investment you have made in your lifestyle and "lovestyle".

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: ADVICE THAT REALLY WORKS
Review: I read this book at the suggestion of a marital and family counselor. Everything I read hit the nail right on the head. The book isn't pie in the sky stuff, but real and practical. And when I began to apply the principles Smalley suggests, I found them to be life-changing. Within a number of weeks I noticed improvement in my marital relationship. Now my wife has read the companion book written for women (FOR BETTER OR FOR BEST) and we are purchasing extra copies of both to share with our friends. For practical, real-life advice that works, this book is a must read for anyone desiring a fuller, more intimate marriage.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: I think all married men should read this
Review: I read this book before giving it to my husband. Finally someone put into words what I could not. This book points out how husbands are insensitive to their wives and how they can change that. It shows the differences between men and women, which do make a big difference in a relationship. It also gives you specific tips and ideas on how to show your love and be the husband she deserves. It is not a male-bashing book by any means. I think that some men cannot accept that they are insensitive from a woman's point of view and are therefore resitant to change. Please, read this book. Read it with your wife, even, and get her opinion. You will be glad you did.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: A workable set of tools for understanding a woman's mind.
Review: I wrote 4 stars, but really 4 1/2 would be appropriate. I bought this book while I was a single, young man, because when I saw the cover (the original cover) it grabbed my heart. My motivation was to understand my future wife, if God were to give me one.

After reading just the introduction, I wept and wept. I realized that I had the culmination of a lifetime of hard-knocks counseling experience in my hands, which was about to be handed to me, lock, stock and barrel, for peanuts. And the content of this book is fantastic. I'd call it a "human revelation" (if there be such a thing) in that it emanated from Gary Smalley.

Besides from incredible insight into women-in-general, Gary provides a usable, practical, insightful set of multiple-choice questions which a man can hand to his wife/girlfriend and ask her to fill it out as she feels best, and then "hand it in". With this, the man can find out just what SHE has to say on many different issues. I modified the list even further; the original list has responses like "I agree" and "I disagree" - that's all. I'd suggest modifying it, asking the woman to RATE the responses as "1 to 5", for example, depending on her level of agreement.

I do think Gary is a little unfair towards men, however. He literally says that he is absolutely positive that 100% of marriage problems are 100% due to the man's fault. Ah...excuse me? And then he goes on to make his arguments as to WHY this is so. Apparently, even if a woman divorces her husband, for example, or even if a woman refuses to submit to Christ, or to even ACCEPT Christ as Savior (!!) it's really the husband's fault. That is, Mr. Smalley says that her ROOT problems are ALWAYS attributable to her husband - EVEN IF SHE HAD THEM BEFORE THEY MET. It's really kind of overkill, I think. But if you can read a book without "buying into" every word, I can say without reservation, that this is a wonderful masterpiece!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Manditory Reading
Review: I've been a Men's Group leader since Promise Keeper's in 1994. I've had many man go through this book and believe firmly that this book is required reading for any man. I agree this book can be difficult to digest...my copy has been thrown across the room many times...however, if you do what he says, it works. The real issue guys, is are you willing to die to self and be a living sacrifice for your wife. If not, you'll get what you deserve. This book forces you to look at yourself in the mirror..many guys can't handle that.
The negative reviews here just don't get it.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Not Recommended
Review: It's been a few years since I read this book and I don't have it on hand to refer to, but I can easily say why I have rated it at only one star. Gary Smalley does write convincingly and there are some observations he makes that ring true - these you can glean from other reviews here. However, I found his main premise to be very worrying and it will probably damage more marriages than it helps. Gary puts forth the idea that everything that goes wrong in a marriage is the fault of the husband. He backs this up with anecdotal evidence from his own marriage, such as the time he asked his wife why he was always apologising rather than her and after her reply realised that everything was his fault. He also talks about the man being the head of the household and having the main responsibilities, which is all well and good, but the conclusion he's leapt to really needs rethinking. The burden placed upon his male readers (not to mention the genuine responsibility taken away from women) can only lead to an increase in needless stress.

This book may appeal to those who enjoy sitcoms with bumbling husbands unable to do anything right and who get blamed for everything, but for those who are genuinely searching for marriage or relationship advice, please give it a miss.

Rather than this book I'd recommend almost anything by Schmuley Boteach and some of the books by Florence Littauer.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Outstanding... Makes women understandable (mostly)
Review: Let's face it, no matter how much we men don't like what our spouses are doing, the only person we can change is ourselves. Smalley shows how to change yourself to get the results you want from your spouse.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Men, take responsibility for your actions!
Review: My marriage of almost seven years has been in danger of failing for about half the time. My wife and I are separated due to school commitments. This gave me ample opportunity to read and digest Mr. Smalley's techniques of building a better marriage. He asks men to take charge of the family and take responsibility for their insensitive ways; sincerely ask for her forgiveness and begin again with openess, respect, and love. The text is very easy reading and flows like normal conversation with many case studies and alot of his own insight. Have a pencil handy as he gives plenty of room in the text to take notes along with numerous biblical refernces for personal reflection. I cannot wait to get home and to put into practice the techniques I've learned.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Men, this book will help you realize how insensitive we are.
Review: My relationship IS in trouble, my wife suggested I read this book. I just finished it about 10 minutes ago and will be getting in my car to drive over 1,000 miles tonite to be with my wife and beg her forgiveness for my insensitivity. It will take much courage for me to follow the advice this book offers, but I am confident that it will help me achieve the results that I just don't know how reach yet. I will submit a follow up message after my marriage is back on the right track. I wish I had read this book several years ago, I'm sure I would have avoided offending my most precious wife long ago. Reading this book should be mandatory for all couples (husbands) before the second year of their relationships. I will be purchasing the companion book, "For better or for Best" as soon as the bookstores open tommorow. (Today is Easter Sunday) Steve


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