Open Embrace: A Protestant Couple Rethinks Contraception

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Summary: The truth is often simple, but not always easy...
Review: As a protestant who does not believe in using unnatural means of birth control, I too struggled to find resources outside the Catholic faith to educate myself. I ended up digging through and using what there was and just adapting it to my Protestant faith. I am thrilled that this very succinct, honest book is now available to share with my protestant friends. Don't assume from the get go that you know what the authors are going to say. Realize that the heart of what they are asking you to do is seek the heart of God concerning your birth control method. The reality is that most Christians don't even think twice about taking the pill or getting a depo-provera injection. It isn't something that they talk or pray about or really examine, it's just what everyone is doing so they do it too. And to the previous reviewer-- have you ever heard of monogamy? It means that you are with ONE person, not with one person AT A TIME. This book is for people who want to follow God's plan for sex and marriage and therefore do not have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases. Yes, that IS possible. My husband and I are proof of it. We married at ages 25 and 24 both virgins who have never given STD's a second thought.

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Summary: Heart-warming, challenging, inspiring, counter-cultural
Review: Bethany and Sam Torode have written a superb and charming little book! Open Embrace is a marvelous meditation on what it means to have an authentic and all-encompassing pro-life outlook on sexuality and marriage. The theology of natural family planning is not merely Protestant, it is broadly and classically Christian. It is also radically life-affirming, and in our contemporary culture of disposability and death, it is a joy to read of the Torodes' faith and idealism.

As a teacher and a youth worker, I have noted that most teenagers and young adults with whom I interact are passionate idealists. They want their lives to be imbued with significance and meaning. They want love without limits. As one of my high schoolers put it, "Everything I do matters: what I eat, how I spend my money, what I drive, whom I touch, whom I love and how I love them". Our culture at large is contemptuous of such apparent naivete. But as Christians, we are called to be naive like children and to love without limitations.

The kind of selfless, servant love that Jesus offered to his church is reflected in Sam and Bethany's wonderful book. They believe in love without limits -- not in the sense of indiscriminate promiscuity -- but in the sense that they courageously embrace the awesome consequences of love. Sex and life are inextricably bound together, they claim, and they make that claim with such joyousness and such sincerity that it is all but impossible not to be captivated, convicted, and convinced.

One of the favorite passages of any youth worker is surely 1 Timothy 4:12: "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity". In this humble and beautiful book, Sam and Bethany set that example. Hurrah.

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Summary: Natural Family Planning for Protestants
Review: In the book's introduction, University of Texas at Austin philosophy professor J. Budziszewski addresses the three goods of marriage: procreative, unitive, and sacramental. The error of our time, Budziszewski writes, has been trying to tear the three apart. "By saying 'yes' to union but 'no' to procreation, we still get a kind of union, but it goes bad; it ferments, turns sour, and begins to stink," writes Budziszewski.

With the problem thus stated, the purpose of the book then is to put the 3 back together. The authors do so both successfully and efficiently. Open Embrace, although small, is filled with great wisdom.

Catholics practicing Natural Family Planning will find nothing new here, but then that is not the book's intended audience. Rather, the Torodes have written a book for other couples like themselves - Protestant couples that were never taught to oppose contraception.

Like Kimberly Hahn, and others who have traveled the same road before them, Sam explains that he originally, incorrectly assumed that the Catholic Church's prohibition on contraception was a superstition, leftover from the Middle Ages. After a friend explained that the Church actually had reasons for its teaching, he decided to research the subject himself. The book is the result.

Beginning with what it means to be created in the image of God, the Torodes reason that our sexuality reflects God's likeness. It is from this "theology of the body" then, that the Torodes logically embrace a vision of married love and the one-flesh union which cannot be diminished or compromised through the action of contraception.

Their logic is clear, simple, and easy to follow. Desiring to conform their desires and actions to the natural rhythms of the woman's body, they lead the reader to Natural Family Planning. There, they encounter a profound, biblical perspective on the meaning of sex - namely, that love cannot be contained in just two bodies. Marital union reflects the Trinity.

A minor weakness of the book is that it makes no attempt to examine contraception from a moral standpoint. Rather than suggesting that contraception is evil or sinful, the Torodes are content to say that it is not "ideal." Again, one must remember their audience.

At one point, the authors quote Toni Weschler, who does not discourage couples from using condoms during their fertile time. Any Natural Family Planning instructor, however, can explain that in addition to the high failure rate of condoms, the use of condoms will negatively impact a couple's ability to recognize signs of fertility.

While they do not address the moral theology, the authors do present a convincing argument against the many defenses of contraception by Christian authors (Dobson, LaHaye, etc.) that say that contraception can be used for good or ill depending upon one's intention.

The book stands as a challenging critique to a culture where the contraceptive mentality treats fertility as a sickness and children as inconveniences. The Torodes lay to rest the long-held myth that all NFP is the Rhythm Method and also address the many marital and child-spacing benefits of modern, scientific NFP. Finally, they demonstrate how the contraceptive mentality leads to abortion-on-demand.

In the book's final section, Bethany writes a touching affirmation of what it means to be a mother. Her chapter, Be Not Afraid, reflecting both Scripture and the favorite words of Pope John Paul II, will warm the heart of any mother.

The book's great strength is that it wraps a very Catholic message with Protestant gift wrap. Many Protestants refuse to hear the Catholic perspective on contraception simply because it is the "Catholic perspective." The Torodes, however, quote from a variety of Catholics - Mother Teresa, various Popes, G.K. Chesterton, Fulton Sheen, and others. For example, in the book's second section, Sam provides a historical perspective on contraception. He effectively uses the early Church Fathers to demonstrate the Church's condemnation of contraception and abortion from its very beginnings.

I heartily recommend the book not only for Protestants, but also for the 95% of Catholics that ignore the Church's teaching on contraception. It would make a wonderful engagement or wedding gift for young couples.

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Summary: The Antidote to Pre-Marriage Counseling Books
Review: The preface says: "the previous generation pioneered in forgetting the oldest things. Perhaps this generation will pioneer in remembering them."

If you are looking for an alternative to Birth Control in your Christian marriage, this is the primer for you: a first-person account by a husband and wife team, Sam & Bethany Torode, on the merits of Natural Family Planning (NFP) in their marriage and a short survey on the fall from grace of contemporary Evangelical leadership in the realm of sexual intimacy and attitudes towards the procreation of children. This is a very well and personably written marriage account with grounding in the historical and doctrinal position of the Church through the ages, transcending any particular denominational affiliation. An exhilirating, joyful marriage primer to be recommended for engaged couples, newlyweds, and a sobering side-hand indictment of popular attitudes inside the Evangelical community.

This young couple articulately reflects a growing conscience across Christian denominations on the physical dangers of the birth control pill and on the spiritual benefits of listening to the wisdom of Christians who have gone before us. A hard hitting book that is destined to help rally a coalescing movement in the Protestant Evangelical world . The writers write with a comfort level that comes from growing up in the Evangelical church, but also from first-hand experience in rubbing shoulders with other living and genuine believers in the Orthodox and the Roman Catholic community. "We are not alone!" is the refreshing rallying spirit of this marriage primer.

This book has a "rage de vivre" that is refreshing, unequivocally prolife, and completely in sync with other Christians who have embraced and experienced the notion that in Christian marriage can be found joy and contentment as God intended it to be. Instead of a gradual dissapearance into oblivion, the Christian life is meant to be one of perpetual and exciting growth, and in the area of sexuality and the procreation of children, the Torodes leave no room for exception. This is the antidote to your average pre-marriage counseling book. It will make you believe in love all over again.

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Summary: Reactionary and dangerous
Review: This is nothing less than a program for the propagation of STDs and misery, wrapped in reactionary religious dogma. Beware!