In Every Pew Sits a Broken Heart: Hope for the Hurting

Rating:
Summary: Caution . . .
Review: I bought this book because I was looking for encouragement from someone who has "been there." Ruth honestly describes the gut-wrenching emotions and devastating ramifications of her experiences, and she shares some very good thoughts on repentance, God's forgiveness, and setting boundaries. She also speaks to caregivers from a standpoint of knowing from experience what is helpful. The book cover and reviews speak of her struggles, but not until the end of the book does the reader see the grip that her struggles have on her even as she is writing. Her struggles do not disqualify her from having something of value to say. But I am concerned that she is--and has been in recent years--looked to as a source of inspiration and maybe even authority to those going through difficult times. She talks about falling completely into the arms of the Lord and leads her readers in that direction, but it is painfully apparent at the end of the book that she still has serious issues with that, and one is left wondering whether she trusts God with abandon even at this point. The choices she has continued to make almost seem to indicate that she doesn't believe He is as trustworthy as she is telling us He is. Certainly one does not have to be flawless to have a testimony, and Ruth rightly points out that it is the very fact that she is flawed that qualifies her to testify of God's grace and forgiveness. But I came away from this book unconvinced that she has allowed herself to experience the depth of healing and develop the trust that she talks about. And that part of me wants to say, "Show me by your life that you believe what you say." That doesn't happen overnight, and none of us ever completely "arrive." But I'm not so certain that Ruth is ready for the adulation as an overcomer that will likely be afforded her as a result of this book. It's a tough call, because I think one of the problems in the Christian community is that we tend to not be fully open about our struggles while we are in them. We don't want to draw attention to ourselves until/unless we are victorious in the widely accepted sense. Ruth has taken the risk of being honest and therefore, incredibly vulnerable in a very public way. She hasn't had a great track record of reliance on God, but she now must live that out more than ever to be able to withstand the scrutiny of her life that her story will invite. God has already provided the strength she will need for that inevitability--she need only trust that it is there and avail herself of it. And in that, there is a lesson for all of us.

Rating:
Summary: Step of Faith
Review: I enjoy listening to testimonies. It's one of my favorite parts of a worshiping service. Testimonies encourage, enlighten, edify, motivate and inspire. With this said, EVERYONE has a testimony. Ms. Graham has step out on faith to tell her heartbreaking story like so many of us have. For most women, we go through so much with men in marriage. I believe that a lot of it can be avoided if we FIRST seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Then if we want a Godly husband, He'll present you to one. If you are His child, and you ask him for food for the nourishment of your body, will he give you a rock? Of course not. He will give you what you need. We fall into bad marriages because we followed the lust of our flesh instead of the voice of the Almighty God. Therefore, we reap what we sow. There are consequences to every action---whether good or bad, whether happy or sad.

I also like to recommend a wonderful book for women of all ages and race entitled: WOMAN TAKE YOUR POSITION by Beverly Rolyat. This book is exceptional for women who are considering marriage and for those who are already in a marriage. You will be highly enlightened and spiritually blessed beyond belief.

Rating:
Summary: Healing
Review: I found healing for my heart in every page of this book. My situations are different, but the healing is the same. I felt more peace with God after I read this book. Ruth's story is very honest and real. I think it shows that we all struggle, stumble and fall, but God is there. He is working even when we don't know it or feel it.

Rating:
Summary: Immature counsel
Review: I will give Ruth Graham credit for one thing and one thing only; she shares very openly about her life.
But there are several very problematic issues with the book: firstly, she comes pretty close to blaming God for every incident in her life. She says things like "but God wanted it differently" all the time when something really bad happens. Probably, she wanted to say that God is always supporting us unconditionally - even when we face consequences of our own poor choices and living in a fallen world. Secondly, she gives some horrible, horrible advice on parenting. I was totally shocked that no editors had the nerve to remove or totally rewrite the parts about her daughter's first pregnancy and her manipulative and destructive behaviour towards her daughter. Thirdly, she is in the process of her third divorce as this book is being published. If she wants to have any credibility, she waits a year or two before publishing so that she could have gained some perspective at least. That's actually advice she gives in the book. Why doesn't she practice what she preaches?
In conclusion, the book tells of an interesting life, but is packed with poor theology and even worse psychology and advice. Stay away!

Rating:
Summary: Salve for a Broken Heart
Review: I'd gone to the local Christian bookstore looking for another "dealing with divorce...." book to add to my ever-growing library of books on the same topic. When I first saw this book sitting on the shelf, my first thought was "yeah right, what would Ruth Graham, daughter of THE Billy Graham, know about what I'm going through?" But in the first few pages, I realized that she knows exactly what I am going through, the disillusionment, pain, and suffering caused by conditions she didn't create, and the struggles and turmoil caused by poor choices and circumstances she did have a part in creating. Although I bought this book because of the pain of divorce, (I would definitely recommend it as part of a divorce support group study) it's readership far exceeds just those going through divorce. I read the book in one day; I could not put it down. It helped me so much to gain insight from someone who has actually "walked in my shoes" and felt what I feel, said what I've said, thought what I've thought, and struggled "just like me". A "must read", this book provides inspiration and encouragement to anyone sitting in the pew with a broken heart.

Rating:
Summary: A soulful look into the power and comfort God offers
Review: In Every Pew Sits A Broken Heart: Hope For The Hurting by Ruth Graham (daughter of Billy Graham) with the assistance of freelance writer Stacy Mattingly is a soulful look into the power and comfort God offers to those in pain. From the struggle to forgive, to learning to accept God's healing work, the inner battle to put one's trust in God despite contrary fears and distractions, and much more, In Every Pew Sits A Broken Heart is a thoughtful and deeply spiritual self-help guide for Christians in their greatest hour of need. An uplifting testimony of finding the courage to face terrible hardships.



Rating:
Summary: Being a sheep isn't easy!
Review: Ruth Graham, the beloved child of Dr. and Mrs. Billy Graham, describes life on scary ledges as a lamb who needs her Shepherd's rescue, time and again. For her, what could go wrong, did go wrong. Christians aren't immune from life going terribly wrong. She answers the question - When life knocks us flat; when we choose unwisely - when we can't rise above the pain - when self-pity is easier than forgiveness - what hope do we have?

In her new book, In Every Pew Sits a Broken Heart: Hope for the Hurting, Ruth Graham, encourages those in a dark valley, and those helping someone else walk through dark valleys. If tempted to say, "Well, how can she know my pain?" a reader will learn the answer through her struggles, which were - and are - not much different from yours and mine. The struggles include enduring both people's sins against us, and the sins we commit. Ruth candidly and gently exposed the lies that put her on a lonely, dangerous ledge - or that temporarily kept her from running home to the Father who waits.

As she develops the events that rocked her, she also what she learned: first, suggestions for those who care for wandering lambs, prodigals, or their older brothers; second a checklist of reminders for living through the painful time; third, tips for care-givers, and finally, precious Scripture memory verses. The combining of these helps clarify and fortify hope for the hurting hearts.

Pain, shame and pride led Ruth Graham onto shaky ledges, and her three precious children also found themselves stranded and hurting on ledges of their own. Yet the great Shepherd of the flock came - every time - and led them to safety.

The strength of this book is her candor, her transparency while she confesses her heartaches and failures, from her husband's adultery to their tragic divorce, unplanned pregnancies, depression, eating disorders and coldness of heart. Yet, though it all, Ruth Graham magnifies God's unshakeable love which rescued and restored, repeatedly, while she has been learning who she is in Christ.

Rating:
Summary: The ending cancels any worthy advice
Review: The fact that Ruth Graham is in the midst of a 3rd divorce as she is writing the book shows that there is a serious disconnect between what she says she believes and how she actually lives. What good has all her Bible Study done? All she can say is God has been there to pick up her pieces. It appears she takes the grace of God as a liscense to sin. Harsh words? Yes,but in making herself vulnerable she shows she has a lot to learn and is in no position to give advice.

Rating:
Summary: AWESOME !!!!
Review: Want a book that changes your life? Read and experiencce this one.Ruth Graham has been through the most difficult times with a grace and faithfulness that we can only hope to gain. We can all relate and identify with the struggles and pain she has experienced. I HIGHLY recommend this book.Very real answers to difficult questions.and suggestions for problems. It is well written and the format is different and refreshing. I will treasure this book for a long time. I suggest you buy a copy for yourself and one for a hurting friend.

Rating:
Summary: DEPRESSING...Would not recommend.
Review: With great respect to Ruth Graham I give this review. She is to be commended for her candor and the beautiful way she organized and shared the valuable lessons she learned from her suffering. The voice of this review is humble, soft and gentle. I am aware that all of us are all struggling to walk this walk of life. And especially if we are Christians, we are struggling to walk it with God in Christ, and there is much we can learn from each other's walk.

I began reading this book with hopes and even encouraged others to read it. However, as I got further into it, I started to see a pattern of what appeared to be a misuse (or misunderstanding, if you will) of God's grace, love and acceptance. Certainly ALL of what Ms Graham shares about His total embracing of us is true, but Scripture is very clear that when we violate His principles there will be consequences. She alludes to a few of these, however if this is supposed to be a book with advice, it was not made clear to the reader what these violations were and what were the corresponding consequences. Instead, she whisks these painful results away with a trite 'sounding', "God is going to take care of it all" mentality. There was no hope given for avoiding these pitfalls.

Even though Ms Graham can be commended for her candor, (and we certainly do need much more of that type of transparency in the Christian world..."confess your faults to one another that you may be healed",) to not share the correlation between the violation of God's principles and the consequences we go through is to miss the major part of the lesson He is desiring for His people to learn. In otherwords, if we avoid violating His ways as He teaches us in His Word, we can avoid experiencing the negative consequences. A new or unlearned believer might think it was okay to do many of the things Ms Graham did that were in direct violation of God's ways. She would say she "felt" badly, or she would say "she made a mistake", but she would never say, she violated such and such a principle, therefore her children suffered here or there, and if she had done this instead, they could have avoided so much pain. Quite frankly, she came off as trying to justify her "mistakes"...under the disguise of God's acceptance. I do not doubt that her motive is to serve her risen Savior and be used to help His people.

I came away from this book feeling as if the end was at the beginning again...that there was no hope...that she was going to continue to make the same mistakes, that the children and grandchildren would do the same, and so what's the use of learning? Therefore, there is no solution for anyone else.

Now, again, this review sounds a bit harsh, and I have never written a book, but Ms Graham has...I have made just a many "mistakes" as she has, and I and my children are still suffering consequences of those violations. So where do I come off even reviewing this? Over the years, I did learn of many correlations between our violation of Scriptural principles and what we suffer in this world. That's all. Yes, suffering is our calling in Christ, but it is NOT the same suffering that putting your hand on the hot burner produces. We can avoid much of the suffering we were never intended to endure.