Heaven Is Gentle: Collector's Edition (Betty Neels)

Rating:
Summary: Boredom Raised to a High Art
Review: This has to be one of the most boring books that I have tried to read. Ever!

Eliza Proudfoot is presumably a competent nurse. She is chosen from a list of nurses to assist in a study of asthma suffers that is going to be conducted in the winter in a remote part of Scotland. She drives to Scotland where she meets a rich Dutch doctor without much personality named Christian. Christian is engaged to be married to a woman named Estelle. The chemistry between Eliza and Christian is zero.

He grumps at her. She goes off in a snit-- she'll show him! A fog and a "blizzard" occurs and he has to show her how to get back to the lodge. There is also a sort of minor "flood" where the burn overflows and water washes in under the front door of the cottage where she is staying. He helps her mop it up. Then she is approached in a local town by a "rat-faced" man who calls her "girlie". (Oh the horror!) Christian rescues her by telling the guy to move along. She bursts into tears. What a WHIMP!

I started trying to think of other situations Christopher could rescue Eliza from in the future. She is filling out forms and receives a severe paper cut. He gives her a bandage. She leaves her pocketbook in a restaurant. He returns it. She sneezes. He hands her a tissue. All about as exciting as what does occur.

The other woman, Estelle, comes in for some lumps by the author. She is too skinny. The author mentions salt cellars in circumstances (a low cut dress) that I think might refer to Estelle's chesticalogical region (MST3K reference) that I really don't get. Dutch breasts-- or salt cellars-- must be quite different from those in the USA. Estelle is also lukewarm on animals and is interested in Roman ruins. If I had to spend time with either Eliza or Estelle it would be Estelle hands down. At least we could talk about something other than asthma and despite the author's effort to make her sound mean spirited she comes off rather well against Eliza's boring self abnegation.

I would give Eliza and Christian about a year and half together before the divorce due to sheer ennui.

Avoid this one unless you have insomnia.