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Black Samurai

Black Samurai

List Price: $19.98
Your Price: $17.98
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Are you kidding me?
Review: This is single-handedly the worst movie I have ever seen. First of all, the movie was devoid of any plot (at least one that I was aware of). Between fending off dwarves and blind, yellow belt "martial artists" and come-ons from the femme fatale, who looked like a run-down Sheila-E, Kelly should have definitely kept to what he knows best---hairstyling and red track suits.

Action sequences squander great potential: in one scene where the black samurai tours the canopy in a rocketeer jet backpack, he can't find anyone to fight with, so he just lands and the scene ends. In the final fistfight, the enemy goons look like they spent more time playing dungeons and dragons than hitting the gym. I would rather get kicked in the mid-section several hundred times by the midgets in the movie than bear watching this sad excuse for a movie again. Caveat emptor.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: LOVE THE MOVIE, BUT THEY'VE CUT IT
Review: This is singlehandedly the worst movie I've ever seen. Some movies have bad acting. Some have bad direction, bad writing, or just a bad feel. Black Samurai has all of that in spades, and just as icing, bad sound editing, and bad action scenes. Don't waste your time on this movie if you're expecting a martial arts movie on par with.. well, real martial arts movies.

What this movie is, however, is absolutely, although unintentionally hilarious. I laughed so hard my eyes watered up several times. But let's be clear: there are no jokes in Black Samurai. Black Samurai IS the joke, and I think Jim Kelly was in on it.

First of all, the title is horribly misleading. Jim Kelly, while indeed black, is no samurai. There is one scene where Kelly practices with a katana and some nunchucks, but that was apparently just to keep him sharp for later movies; they never appear again.

Secondly, for a government agent, Black Samurai is one evil dude. Even though Kelly is apparently some manner of law-enforcement official, he doesn't arrest anyone. He deals out his own brand of justice: knocking most people out, while selecting a few at random for life-altering injury. In one instance, Kelly chooses a seemingly random opponent and yells THE single most classic line in '70s film: "You never gonna walk again, sucka!", whilst snapping his spine. You cold as ice, BS.

But you don't just have bad titling or random acts of evil to glean cheap laughs from! You still have the veritable treasure trove of laughter that is the sound editing and effects!

First, the punches and kicks for some reason sound just like gunshots. Actual gunshots sound like gunshots too, which sounds confusing, but when you're watching the movie trust me, it'll be the least of your concerns.

Here's the best part: there are entire scenes complete with dialog where nobodys mouths move. Yes, really. No, I'm not making this up. There's a five minute scene where Kelly and an opponent move around sizing each other up. They're talking the whole time, but no mouths move. Maybe they're doing it telepathically. Also, apparently Kelly saw the movie after it was filmed and refused to do the dubbing for his character, hoping the movie would die, because there are several occasions where Kelly is supposed to be talking, but someone else's voice comes out.

This isn't a B Movie. This is more like an H movie. It's WAY down on the chain. I'm buying it anyway! I want to show it to my kids someday when they tell me classics like Ferris Beuller and Spaceballs suck. "...no little Timmy, THIS sucks."

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Maybe the worst movie ever - but a must see!
Review: This is singlehandedly the worst movie I've ever seen. Some movies have bad acting. Some have bad direction, bad writing, or just a bad feel. Black Samurai has all of that in spades, and just as icing, bad sound editing, and bad action scenes. Don't waste your time on this movie if you're expecting a martial arts movie on par with.. well, real martial arts movies.

What this movie is, however, is absolutely, although unintentionally hilarious. I laughed so hard my eyes watered up several times. But let's be clear: there are no jokes in Black Samurai. Black Samurai IS the joke, and I think Jim Kelly was in on it.

First of all, the title is horribly misleading. Jim Kelly, while indeed black, is no samurai. There is one scene where Kelly practices with a katana and some nunchucks, but that was apparently just to keep him sharp for later movies; they never appear again.

Secondly, for a government agent, Black Samurai is one evil dude. Even though Kelly is apparently some manner of law-enforcement official, he doesn't arrest anyone. He deals out his own brand of justice: knocking most people out, while selecting a few at random for life-altering injury. In one instance, Kelly chooses a seemingly random opponent and yells THE single most classic line in '70s film: "You never gonna walk again, sucka!", whilst snapping his spine. You cold as ice, BS.

But you don't just have bad titling or random acts of evil to glean cheap laughs from! You still have the veritable treasure trove of laughter that is the sound editing and effects!

First, the punches and kicks for some reason sound just like gunshots. Actual gunshots sound like gunshots too, which sounds confusing, but when you're watching the movie trust me, it'll be the least of your concerns.

Here's the best part: there are entire scenes complete with dialog where nobodys mouths move. Yes, really. No, I'm not making this up. There's a five minute scene where Kelly and an opponent move around sizing each other up. They're talking the whole time, but no mouths move. Maybe they're doing it telepathically. Also, apparently Kelly saw the movie after it was filmed and refused to do the dubbing for his character, hoping the movie would die, because there are several occasions where Kelly is supposed to be talking, but someone else's voice comes out.

This isn't a B Movie. This is more like an H movie. It's WAY down on the chain. I'm buying it anyway! I want to show it to my kids someday when they tell me classics like Ferris Beuller and Spaceballs suck. "...no little Timmy, THIS sucks."

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Don't Bother
Review: This movie was a true disappointment. Usually, when you buy a classic movie that has been transferred to DVD you have a jewel, however in this case buying this DVD is a waste of money. The editing is sloppy and the voice overs are careless. It is an insult when companies claim to have the "original, full length motion picture" and in reality they have a product that has been edited by someone who has no real understanding of the movie or the people who watch them. The only plus is that you get classic Jim Kelly.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Long Live Jim Kelly
Review: This title, as bad in production value as it is, definitely ranks up there with the most entertaining movies I've ever seen. I laughed so hard at times, I nearly cried. Either they were doing this tongue in cheek, which then makes it brilliant, or it was complete schlock. Either way, it's a keeper for the library.

NOTE: I bought the VHS version thinking it would contain the edited footage, but it does not. Seems there is no fully uncut version available, because someone wrote the DVD version is edited. Ripoff.

Jim Kelly is a classic, and when he delivers the line "your credibility has reached an all time low", he is unforgettable.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Long Live Jim Kelly
Review: This title, as bad in production value as it is, definitely ranks up there with the most entertaining movies I've ever seen. I laughed so hard at times, I nearly cried. Either they were doing this tongue in cheek, which then makes it brilliant, or it was complete schlock. Either way, it's a keeper for the library.

NOTE: I bought the VHS version thinking it would contain the edited footage, but it does not. Seems there is no fully uncut version available, because someone wrote the DVD version is edited. Ripoff.

Jim Kelly is a classic, and when he delivers the line "your credibility has reached an all time low", he is unforgettable.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Black Samurai ? Not to be Taken Seriously
Review: When watching this DVD all conventional expectations of standard film making (decent acting, editing, direction etc.), should be put aside. Instead this DVD should be enjoyed for what it is a schlock B - grade cult/martial arts send up that is performed with tongue firmly in cheek. "Black Samurai" is directed by Al Adamson who knows his way around low budget action fare. This film stars Jim Kelly as a wealthy agent for the government organization D.R.A.G.O.N. Kelly is lured back into action when his girlfriend is kidnapped by a group of Haitian voodoo slavers. Things do go from the sublime to the ridiculous as Kelly is pitted against a vulture, a slew of diminutive bad guys and the evil warlock Janicott (Bill Roy) all while never messing up one hair of his immaculate afro. Also, there is a scene of Kelly donning a jet-pack to sneak up on the evil doers that has to be seen to be believed. Adamson keeps things from spiraling into an incoherent mess while keeping a brisk pace. The supporting cast is odd but will be familiar to cult movie buffs including D' Urville Martin ("Black Caesar"), Felix Silla (Cousin It from "The Addams Family"), Marilyn Joi ("Kentucky Fried Movie") and tough guy Aldo Ray ("We're No Angeles"). The primary reason to watch this DVD is for the choreographed fight scenes that are done well enough and really do showcase Kelly's martial arts ability. All in all this film is not going to be remembered as great cinema but the charm of its silliness makes it enjoyable.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Black Samurai ¿ Not to be Taken Seriously
Review: When watching this DVD all conventional expectations of standard film making (decent acting, editing, direction etc.), should be put aside. Instead this DVD should be enjoyed for what it is a schlock B - grade cult/martial arts send up that is performed with tongue firmly in cheek. "Black Samurai" is directed by Al Adamson who knows his way around low budget action fare. This film stars Jim Kelly as a wealthy agent for the government organization D.R.A.G.O.N. Kelly is lured back into action when his girlfriend is kidnapped by a group of Haitian voodoo slavers. Things do go from the sublime to the ridiculous as Kelly is pitted against a vulture, a slew of diminutive bad guys and the evil warlock Janicott (Bill Roy) all while never messing up one hair of his immaculate afro. Also, there is a scene of Kelly donning a jet-pack to sneak up on the evil doers that has to be seen to be believed. Adamson keeps things from spiraling into an incoherent mess while keeping a brisk pace. The supporting cast is odd but will be familiar to cult movie buffs including D' Urville Martin ("Black Caesar"), Felix Silla (Cousin It from "The Addams Family"), Marilyn Joi ("Kentucky Fried Movie") and tough guy Aldo Ray ("We're No Angeles"). The primary reason to watch this DVD is for the choreographed fight scenes that are done well enough and really do showcase Kelly's martial arts ability. All in all this film is not going to be remembered as great cinema but the charm of its silliness makes it enjoyable.


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