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Blackenstein

Blackenstein

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Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Unbelievable!
Review: I'm a fan of this movie's star, Dr. Stein! He is John Hart, who played Hawkeye in the television series "Last of the Mohicans," and the lead in The Lone Ranger" (yes there was a second Lone Ranger - Clayton Moore was the first). John is my wife's uncle, and recently published "Cowboys in the Kitchen," a terrific SW cookbook with fascinating anecdotes. John Hart also was involved in the production of the tv series "Quincy." I enjoyed this movie immensely, and though John would probably admit that this is not his favorite movie, he does yeomanlike work within the limitations of a weak script and low budget set. There are some unexpectedly hilarious moments in the film. An athletic and impressively swift young lady is nevertheless caught in a race with the lumbering monster. The monster is immune to bullets, at one point taking a full salvo from a pistol at point blank range. And yet, he meets his demise when a Doberman bites him in the stomach! Look for the incompetent Igor! Unbelievable!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Pointless blaxploitation/horror hybrid
Review: In this film directed by William A. Levey (also guilty of directing the classics Wham Bam Thank You Spaceman and Skatetown, U.S.A.), "Dr. Stein" replaces the arms and legs of a black Vietnam vet named Eddie, but something goes wrong and Eddie becomes a murdering, rampaging monster. This low-budget mess is long on phony-looking gore, but short on plot. If you're interested in blaxploitation/horror hybrids like this, check out the vastly superior "Blacula" instead.

One-half star out of five.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Pointless blaxploitation/horror hybrid
Review: In this film directed by William A. Levey (also guilty of directing the classics Wham Bam Thank You Spaceman and Skatetown, U.S.A.), "Dr. Stein" replaces the arms and legs of a black Vietnam vet named Eddie, but something goes wrong and Eddie becomes a murdering, rampaging monster. This low-budget mess is long on phony-looking gore, but short on plot. If you're interested in blaxploitation/horror hybrids like this, check out the vastly superior "Blacula" instead.

One-half star out of five.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Blackenstein will send chills down your spine
Review: NOT VERY GOOD BUT I LOVED IT. I LOVE CAMP AND THIS IS SUPER CAMP. I AM A LOVER OF BLACK MOVIES AND THIS IS BY FAR THE WORST MOVIE THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN SO I LOVED IT AND YOU MUST BUY IT.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Ed Wood's Got Nothing On This Piece Of Garbage
Review: this could very well be the worst movie i've ever seen. horrible continuity - (the soon-to-be blackenstein has no limbs, but in one scene, you see his legs covered by a blanket) - terrible lighting, lame directing and i think i've seen better acting from kevin costner in "the big chill" where he played a dead man. honestly, the main character looks freakin asleep!

who approved this??? who thought this would be a good movie??? there are scenes of blackenstein just walking. and man does he walk! minutes and minutes of him walking! then he kills someone and walks like there's no tomorrow. then he kills somebody else and dies from a dog bite. and that's about it. you could watch a blank screen for 90 minutes and find more enjoyment in that. i'm pretty sure that the script would have been better if it had been 80 pages of crayon scribblings from my 1 year old neice. in fact, i was just born when this movie was made and it could possibly have been me who wrote the screenplay. if so, then sorry about that, because i wrote one horrible piece of trash. blame my mom for not using the darn thing to wipe my doo-doo with it.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: has anyone noticed some pretty good shot setups?
Review: This has got to be one of the most inconsistent films I have ever seen. Most of the acting is atrocious, the sets in conjunction with the cameras are pretty good, and it features the Frankenstein equipment from the original film (Strickfaden dragged it out for this film and also Mel Brook's Young Frankenstein). The plot is time capsule relevant- a black man comes back from Vietnam with no limbs, and his scientist girlfriend contacts her old professor who has a background in cellular regrowth (RNA, DNA mumbo jumbo for plot purposes... now, if RNA causes people to freak out, wouldn't they just stick with the DNA... oh well, it's all for the good of the monster). Kudos go to this film for portraying a black woman as a take control doctor/scientist and also for portraying VA hospitals as a little subpar (this was the early 70s). Well, the Basket Case boyfriend has some new limbs thrown on, and a lab assistant with the hots for the girl scientist winds up pulling an Rna switcheroo, causing confusion and disemboweling to abound, (or unbound, depending on how you tie your bellybutton). Throw in some bad standup, some mediocre Liz Renay, and some great attack dogs and you're in for a weird time. But just notice the scene shot through the murder victim's droppped eyeglasses, and Blackenstein going out of the lab with his shadow spreading up the wall, and perhaps you'll see what I mean.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: has anyone noticed some pretty good shot setups?
Review: This has got to be one of the most inconsistent films I have ever seen. Most of the acting is atrocious, the sets in conjunction with the cameras are pretty good, and it features the Frankenstein equipment from the original film (Strickfaden dragged it out for this film and also Mel Brook's Young Frankenstein). The plot is time capsule relevant- a black man comes back from Vietnam with no limbs, and his scientist girlfriend contacts her old professor who has a background in cellular regrowth (RNA, DNA mumbo jumbo for plot purposes... now, if RNA causes people to freak out, wouldn't they just stick with the DNA... oh well, it's all for the good of the monster). Kudos go to this film for portraying a black woman as a take control doctor/scientist and also for portraying VA hospitals as a little subpar (this was the early 70s). Well, the Basket Case boyfriend has some new limbs thrown on, and a lab assistant with the hots for the girl scientist winds up pulling an Rna switcheroo, causing confusion and disemboweling to abound, (or unbound, depending on how you tie your bellybutton). Throw in some bad standup, some mediocre Liz Renay, and some great attack dogs and you're in for a weird time. But just notice the scene shot through the murder victim's droppped eyeglasses, and Blackenstein going out of the lab with his shadow spreading up the wall, and perhaps you'll see what I mean.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Awful incoherent mess of a film
Review: This is a terrible blaxploitation feature with a virtually incoherent last half hour. The film has clearly been subject to extensive production re-editing with scenes re-ordered, other scenes missing, and bits of some scenes stuck onto others. There are also numerous censor cuts - all shots of the severed arm of the orderly have been excised and all of the intestine-ripping scenes have been shortened. Once the monster starts escaping and killing people (why is never explained) the film becomes a complete structural mess - can anyone enlighten us as to what happened in the editing room ? And the music is just totally inappropriate all of the way through.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Wanna Sit Slack-Jawed with Boredom? Then This Is For You!
Review: When her boyfriend Eddie Turner (Joe DeSue) returns from Vietnam without arms and legs, Dr. Winnifred Walker (Ivory Stone) appeals to former teacher and Nobel Prize-winning Dr. Stein (John Hart) for help--and Dr. Stein, who has been fiddling with DNA, accomodates them by growing some new arms and legs. Unfortunately, the experiment goes awry, and Eddie suddenly develops a square afro, takes to wearing ankle boots, and sneaks out at night... and one of his first victims is an ugly white woman with a really bad hair-do and bad taste in pink nighties.

On the surface, BLACKENSTEIN would seem everything a cult-movie fan could ever wish. And it is true, there are about six "howlers" per minute in this film--actors who can't act, ridiculous dialogue, bad cinematography, awful special effects, extremely silly make-up, you name it, this flick has it. Trouble is, BLACKENSTEIN is also incredibly, unspeakably dull. In fact, it is so dull that after about ten minutes its dullness overpowers the giggle factor and you are left to sit in slack-jawed exhaustion. The DVD offers nothing in the way of extras and the print is bad to boot--not that it makes any difference where this film is concerned. If you have to buy a gift for some you don't much like, this would be a perfect choice. Otherwise, steer clear.

GFT, Amazon reviewer

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Wanna Sit Slack-Jawed with Boredom? Then This Is For You!
Review: When her boyfriend Eddie Turner (Joe DeSue) returns from Vietnam without arms and legs, Dr. Winnifred Walker (Ivory Stone) appeals to former teacher and Nobel Prize-winning Dr. Stein (John Hart) for help--and Dr. Stein, who has been fiddling with DNA, accomodates them by growing some new arms and legs. Unfortunately, the experiment goes awry, and Eddie suddenly develops a square afro, takes to wearing ankle boots, and sneaks out at night... and one of his first victims is an ugly white woman with a really bad hair-do and bad taste in pink nighties.

On the surface, BLACKENSTEIN would seem everything a cult-movie fan could ever wish. And it is true, there are about six "howlers" per minute in this film--actors who can't act, ridiculous dialogue, bad cinematography, awful special effects, extremely silly make-up, you name it, this flick has it. Trouble is, BLACKENSTEIN is also incredibly, unspeakably dull. In fact, it is so dull that after about ten minutes its dullness overpowers the giggle factor and you are left to sit in slack-jawed exhaustion. The DVD offers nothing in the way of extras and the print is bad to boot--not that it makes any difference where this film is concerned. If you have to buy a gift for some you don't much like, this would be a perfect choice. Otherwise, steer clear.

GFT, Amazon reviewer


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