Rating: 
Summary: Real information
Review: If you are having trouble with your marriage, you basically have two choices. First, you can go to a psychologist who will sit & listen passively while you try to solve your own problem, afterwhich he or she will prepare you for the impending divorce and make you feel good about it. Or, you can take your marriage into your own hands by sitting down with your spouse and working through issues. The latter is, of course, easier said than done because by the time the marriage is in trouble, a couple cannot have a conversation about the weather without getting into a violent disagreement.
In comes marriage "coaching," a word I would ascribe to this book's premise. Dr Harley's book is focused in on a framework and has identified the major reasons that couples have trouble with their marriages. These include things that are typically "his" misdeeds, like dishonesty, spending too little time with the family, and affection, and "her" misdeeds, which include things like nagging, lack of interest in sex, etc.
Of course, these are generalizations, and any misdeed that might by typically "manly" might apply to the woman, or vice versa. Still, most typical marriage problems likely have the components that are covered in this book.
Lest readers be frightened by this book by some of the negative reviews, let me say that while the author does tend to stereotype males and females, he does so in light of the fact that there are, in fact, differences in the way men and women think. If you wish there were a world where men and women were identical in every way, this book won't be for you. If you think that a man "should not" think of women in a sexual way, divorce your husband (assuming he has testosterone flowing through his body) and marry someone who doesn't. Writing a book that suggests that men or women "should not" think a certain way won't make it so.
As respects cosmetic surgery, the chapter that addresses that issue also notes that no one should have cosmetic surgery unless both ENTHUSIASTICALLY AGREE that such surgery is necessary. I know that some will automatically think that this chapter will have men rushing out to suggest breast implants for their wives. But, in fact, I have known many who have had their lives changed in a dramatic way by having cosmetic surgery to correct things that can't otherwise be changed, such as physical deformities.
You may need to hire a marriage counselor who is open minded enough to use this program as a guide in order to get things started, depending on the state of your relationship. But,in contrast to the "solve your own problem" approach employed by many psychologists, you will actually have a fighting chance of saving your marriage if you have a roadmap to follow, such as the one in this book.
Rating:
Summary: Great Instructions
Review: This book helps readers to survive the entire ordeal by providing them with step-by-step guidance that minimizes suffering and offers hope for a loving and trusting relationship.
I ALSO RECOMMENNDED: SEX AND THE PERFECT LOVER BY MABEL IAM, this book helped me to end a totally dead end relationship.
Rating:
Summary: Great book - saved our marriage!!
Review: This book is excellent and is a must-read for anyone contemplating marriage, having marital trouble, or happily married wanting things to be even more perfect. The previous reviewer may have taken the "needs" too literally. Dr. Harley mentions 5 of the "top" needs, but it is not the same for everyone. As a matter of fact, in my marriage, I have a few of the "male" needs, and my husband has a few of the "female" needs. But it works for us. We were literally on the brink of divorce - only needed to get a lawyer. This book totally changed our thinking. We thought we were meeting each other's needs, but we were really meeting our "own" needs, which are rarely applicable to the spouse. We learned so much from this book, and now give it out as wedding presents to hopefully spare couples from the trouble we experienced. I *highly* recommend this book, and don't know what we would have done without this information. We periodically read it again for a refresher course - and it always works wonders. I have read the John Gray books, but found this book to be the most helpful for us. Our marriage is fabulous now!
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