Honor Lost: Love and Death in Modern-Day Jordan

Rating:
Summary: A death threat that never was.
Review: I'd like to share with your readers some of my findings about this book, if I may. Thank you.

The author claims in her book (a claim repeated in her review of Queen Noor's book 'Leap of Faith') that many Jordanian women are in jail for their own protection as they fear that they might be killed by their families. As an Australian of Jordanian descent, I know for a fact that it is indeed true and I believe that it shouldn't happen as it is plain injustice that we should all fight.

But, by writing so in her book, the author shot unknowingly herself in the foot because, if she was REALLY threatened with death by her OWN family for 5 years, why didn't she seek the jail's protection against her family's 'death threat' like the other women? Quite the opposite, she spent the last FIVE YEARS of her life in Jordan AT HOME not in jail 'in fear of her family'!

This is yet another undeniable proof that there was NO death threat made against her by her family. In fact, as two reviewers already noticed, her family belongs to a social upper class that does not believe in honour killing. Somehow, she 'forgot' to mention this fact in her book. One wonders why!

If her family REALLY threatened her with death, she would have headed towards the nearest prison asking for protection, the VERY SAME day the threat was made. Something she didn't do for FIVE WHOLE YEARS, by deciding to stay at home. So much for that 'death threat'! Also a death threat that remains active for 5 years is just laughable.

I am therefore sad to say that this book is a pack of lies, written for a gullible and perhaps prejudiced western readership. This 'death threat' claim and episode is just another illustrative example of the tendency of this book to be caught increasingly in the web of its own lies.

So by all means, let us fight honour killing and violence against women worldwide (including my own country Australia) BUT let us not be fooled by this author whose aims are financial and immigration, behind writing this book. Fighting honour killing is one thing and buying this book is another-there is no connection between the two. A carefully orchestrated anti-Jordanian media blitz made the naïve western readership mix between the two.

This book truly does not deserve a place on a bookshelf. Its rightful place is in a dustbin, the dustbin of fake writings where Adolph Hitler's 'diaries' occupy a prominent place already.

Finally, I have found the comments of a fellow Australian (see below) unduly and unjustifiably harsh about Yvonna's review. After all, the review's aim was to help Amazon readers reach an educated view about this book by highlighting some of the vital discrepancies of this supposedly 'factual' book. There is nothing wrong with that. It is called freedom of expression!

Rating:
Summary: There was no unisex hairdressing in Jabal Hussein!
Review: Norma Khouri writes that she and Dalia ran a unisex hairdresser's salon in Jabal Hussein, here in Amman.

Although the style of the book can be enticing sometimes, one fact remains undeniable and obvious to me, as someone born and bred in Jabal Hussein: There was/is no unisex salon in our locality.

Norma Khouri and Dalia most probably ran a women's salon; which is more likely and believable in our prevailing culture where men and women do not mix as freely as in the west. Indeed, with Muslim women wearing the hijab (Islamic scarf), a unisex salon is not only a social anathema but also a recipe for business disaster. So, I have found it mystifying, to say the least, to read the author say that their 'unisex' salon's business was flourishing. In any case, had it existed, we would have known about it, as it allegedly became a success during five whole years. Such a salon cannot be missed over such a long period.

The reason why Norma Khouri bestowed the 'unisex' character upon her women only salon seems to justify the introduction of Michael to set off the 'love story' saga. Whether Michael is a real person or imaginary, the jury is still out.

The fact that Norma Khouri was so 'imaginative' about the setting of this book, for a start, suggests that the whole book 'love story' cannot be trusted as facts can be interchanged with fiction at will. As a reviewer put it, Dalia could have died of natural causes that have nothing to do with honour killing.

Honour killing is a serious matter of life and death that we ought to address objectively and truthfully, with no allowance for fiction or self-declared 'revenge', to fight till eradication the mentality that breeds such willingness to kill innocent lives.

Sadly, judging from this book's endless list of distortions and (indeed) lies, truth and objectivity became the very first victims to be sacrificed at the altar of western commercialism. To make a success of her book, Norma Khouri had to 'tweak' the real events to make them more 'appealing' to the average western reader whose 'civilised' culture has clashed with our 'barbaric' middle-eastern cultures for centuries leading, for example, to the crusades. In fact, here in Jordan, this book is regarded as a latter-day literary crusade by a Christian author, albeit a Jordanian one.

It is pretty clear that this book was conceived for western consumption at the expense of Jordan and the Jordanians. This is why, at best, it is a non-event to us Jordanians. In other words, it will be naïve and misguided to believe that buying this fictional book, in the west, is going to help fight honour killing in Jordan. Buying it for this purpose is therefore a waste of one's money and time.

Rating:
Summary: Forbidden Freedom!
Review: This book is more than the story of a forbidden love. It is about freedom denied to both men and women trapped inside ancient tribal laws and traditions. There were many times when I was ready to close the book and throw it away. It is a very disturbing story and not easy reading- it made me feel sick! I can just imagine how difficult it must have been for the author to re-live every minute over and over again! I grew up in Amman and could relate to the places where the story took place and the silly games girls have to play to manipulate their parents and relative males to find ways around the tribal culture that made me leave the country in the first place. Jordan may appear modern, but scratch the surface and you find a place where the rule of law is easily dismissed in the face of the more powerful tribal traditions. The society does not only discriminate against women, it also makes life miserable for men who are not mainstream and those who try to stand up and encourage reform. The only difference, as the author says, is that men get away from it without being killed! Women are not as fortunate.

What is particularly disturbing is that the Government only pays lip service to this issue and does not seem genuine in introducing reform perhaps because it does not want to alienate the tribes who provide pillars of support for the regime. Much more can be and should be done. The late king gave the Parliament a recess when he wanted to sign the unpopular peace treaty with Israel. In the past few years, scores of temporary laws were passed when the Country was allowed to run without a Parliament. It is inapprehensive that nothing to date has been done to address this issue!

It is often said that to liberate women, we have to start by liberating the men. Let us hope that this book will set us on the right path to realise this.

Rating:
Summary: A must read.
Review: Yvonna's review (see below) is inconsiderate to say the least. In my view, this book raises important issues about the concepts of honour killings, and women as property. Who cares if the book may not be 100% factually accurate? The fact remains, that honour killing is a very serious issue which deserves serious consideration from the human rights perspective. If you're out to pinpoint inaccuracies, Yvonna, try the dictionary instead. Less frustrating that way.

Rating:
Summary: Bravo Norma
Review: I read this book outloud to my sister in a few hours, we found are selves gripped in a world where women are treated less than human. No matter if you are christian or musslim,in the Arab world you are seen as despensible! Women no matter what their age or social background seem to be targets of sick parniod minds. I found her truth refreshing, her braveness to pick herself up after having her childhood friend murdered showed great character.
This book is a great short read one that brings you to grip with the killings of innocent women that their only crime was in trying to love and be loved.Every human being should have a choice on who they love and want to share their life with, because that is the ultimate commitment to love and share your life with someone.These women in Jordan should have that fundamental human right.Tyranny of these goverments and arab men should worrie because the CLOCK ON THE WALL SAYS THATS ALL!!!

Rating:
Summary: Norma Khouri could not have witnessed any murder.
Review: Having read the book TWICE and relying on my 20 year-long experience as a specialist nurse trained to deal with traumatic cases, I believe that the author either never knew personally and closely a murder victim called Dalia or, simply, Dalia died a natural death (death is not the prerogative of old age, as a saying goes!).

However, as an incurable romantic, yes I liked the style of this (quite clearly) fictional book. The author truly impressed me with her amazing and vivid imagination for creating situations. They are so believable. Sadly, I know they cannot be true as I have many Jordanian friends, Muslims and Christians. In fact, Jordan is not an unknown country to me.

The psychological behaviour of the author, for 5 complete years, after Dalia's death, purely and simply, doesn't fit in with the horrible death that Dalia was supposed to have experienced, as described in this book.

Before proceeding any further, it is crucial to recall how the author described Dalia's death. The following unsettling details have ALREADY been used as a marketing tool to sell this book in the West so they are in the public domaine: Dalia died at the hands of her father who stabbed her 12 times and waited till she was dead before calling an ambulance. Also the author tells us that she went to the hospital and insisted to see the body of Dalia whose 'face had blood on it'. It is a horrible death by any account.

Any human being who has witnessed such haunting images and heard about such a horrible death that his/her dearest has met, would leave the country IMMEDIATELY AND BY ANY MEANS rather than stay in such a hellish place for just another 5 minutes. Yet, the author decided to stay ANOTHER 5 YEARS at home in Jordan, after Dalia's horrible death, before leaving for Greece then Australia.

TO ME, THIS OBSERVATION WAS THE MOST SHOCKING AND TELLING PART OF READING THIS WHOLE BOOK! IT WAS THEN THAT I REALISED THAT THIS BOOK IS PURE FICTION!

In fact, as noticed by some reviewers, the author writes that 3 visas for Michael, Dalia and the author were to be received to allow them to leave Jordan. So, accordingly, SOON AFTER Dalia's death, the author must have received her long-awaited visa. In this case, why didn't she use it to get out of Jordan, the country that killed her dearest Dalia in such a horrible way?

Indeed, faced with events as traumatic as Dalia's death, other people and families would have fled countries and sought refuge ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD IMMEDIATELY WITH OR WITHOUT VISA. But not the author!

She says, in her book, that she had to wait for 5 whole years for a visa to leave Jordan. What a non-sensical excuse! Michael obtained the first three visas within a year. So why suddenly is the author claiming that five years were necessary to get her second visa?

If the author was as traumatised as she claims in her book, then why didn't she take ANY plane to ANY western destination IMMEDIATELY and seek asylum? No Western country could have refused her entry. In fact, FIVE YEARS LATER, this is how she gained entrance to Australia.

So why wait for 5 years to do so? Somehow the author -with such horrible events to have 'witnessed'- could not bring herself to leave home and Jordan.

In this book, the author's behaviour for 5 whole years, after Dalia's death, reflects no emotional involvement that is commensurate with the horrible way Dalia was supposed to have died.

During those 5 years, it was as if Dalia NEVER entered the author's life: The author spent the pages of her book related to that period by telling her readers how she used to meet publicly Michael. By reading that section, the reader gets the feeling that it is as if the author NEVER EVER knew someone called Dalia.

Such an emotional detachment over those 5 years can be explained only in two ways: Either Dalia died a natural (not so traumatic) death (illness or accident perhaps?) or the author took a real honour killing story from some news source and made it her own, without even knowing the unfortunate victim. There is so little proof and truth in this book to be able to choose between these two possible explanations.

The 'miracle' emerging from this book is that author 'suddenly', AFTER FIVE YEARS, 'remembered' Dalia and the 'horrible' way she died, just in time to write this book! Her promise to 'avenge' Dalia sounds so hollow and unconvincing.

For this reason, I believe that this book is terminally flawed. As for the 'love' story, I am not even sure who Dalia and Michael were. Are they real or fictional? So, how can I believe anything else written in this book?

This book is such a waste of money and time. What a shame! What a wasted opportunity to highlight the plight of the REAL victims of such honour killings.

...PPS, I would like to point out to the author that violence against women is widespread here in South Africa. So why Jordan ONLY??

Thank you Amazon for this much appreciated space!

Love & Peace To All Mankind!

Rating:
Summary: Compelling and Moving
Review: Honor Lost: Love and Death in Modern-Day Jordan, is a truly frightening look at how men in some cultures punish their women. Even more horrifying, end the lives of their sisters and daughters, because they can't grasp the most basic human emotion which is love. In my "free" opinion, people who practice or recognize this tradition, should be exiled to a large island away from their homes and families to live out the rest of their days controlling and persecuting each other, instead of Ms. Khouri and the beautiful women and children of countries like this. I applaud her for her bravery in writing this masterpiece...

Rating:
Summary: This book made me weep. It is a must read.
Review: When you read the negative review, please take the following into consideration:

It is obvious the reviewer, being male, has no idea what it would be like to live the life of a female in a country that instills from childhood that you will be murdered, by your family for the smallest "offense". A country that not only instills it, but follows through for all to see. A country that shows no remorse for the murder of innocent women. Women who are only seeking basic human rights. He obviously does not have an appreciation for how much courage it took the author to flee her family. Remember, if her attempt would have failed, what would have been the outcome? The same as her best friend, murder at the hand of her family, encouraged by her country. Yes, it took the author five years to make the decision to finally flee. An action most people would never have mustered up the courage to take. Take into consideration too how grief stricken the author was. Again, the reviewer must not have ever grieved to the extent the author has, or he would understand the book better and not have tried to over analyze the authors reaction to her grief.

Yes, Michael hesitated many times too. He hesitated out of love, knowing what the outcome could be.

Rating:
Summary: Book confirms truth about plight of women in ME
Review: This book confirms the utterly horrid nature of the average life of an Arab woman under Islam. Dahlia is at no time treated like a human being in the course of the story, but as property, with her disposition being completely at the mercy of her close male relatives. This book highlights the real world experience of this unfortunate girl against the fictions disseminated so vigorously by the left, where Islam is portrayed as a religion of "peace and justice". Where is Dahlia's justice..in the religious courts, which let her murderer go unpunished? Where is Dahlia's peace..the peace of the grave? In this book, Jordan is shown to be a thoroughly schizoid culture; embracing elements of the West (the King is a huge Star Trek fan, and has appeared on the show), but justifying the most horrific abuse of women thru appeals to tradition. Hopefully, works such as this will prods reasonable men within the country to work for a less barbaric and uncultured civilization

Rating:
Summary: In Jordan, the Price of Honor is often a Woman's Blood
Review: The book shows how much energy/time an Arabic father or husband spends on enforcing how female relatives should behave and dress. The West and East are very different cultures in regards to women. In the West, a woman's reputation/honor is her own; while in the East it belongs to her family. Consequently, honor crimes are not a major crime in Jordan in a court of law. This is because the court acknowledges (by enforcing Article 340 of the law) that the price of honor is OK to be a woman's blood. In the West, a rape victim is usually counseled, helped, and embraced. In the East, the only way to fix the problem among tribal families is through Honor Cleansing (i.e., murdering the rape victims).

Norma and Dalia spent their time in secrecy because they aren't allowed to talk about what's important to them. Actually, if one of them was raped, the only way to avoid an honor murder against them is through going to jail; because they belong to the female gender they are not allowed to leave the country legally. But they can check in to jail for protection but could not check out from jail when they want. But at least the jail protects them from being killed by father/brother.

Norma, although a woman, was able to write a book and defy a culture that has been in existence for decades!! She wrote a book that might make many male Arabs read and get outraged for talking about stopping honor crimes!! But she loved Dalia dearly and for the 1st time she was able to formally express what's important to her: HER LOVE to DALIA and FREEDOM. The trick is to move to a western environment, which empowers women.