Rating: 
Summary: This book is a missed opportunity to help women
Review: I would like to review this rather puzzling human tragedy, if there was one, with your kind permission. Thank you.Like many of your reviewers who HAVE EXPERIENCED THE JORDANIAN WAY OF LIFE, I too am confused and bewildered by some crucial aspects of this story, especially its manifest lack of hard evidence from the author to support her story. After all, we are talking about an innocent woman who allegedly was killed for loving a man called Michael. It ought to be NO trivial or fictional matter. And this is where this book weakness lies: The author has offered NO hard evidence about Michael's existence or about his supposed love for Dalia. SINCE MICHAEL IS ALIVE, THEN THE CONVINCING EVIDENCE IS WITHIN THE AUTHOR'S REACH. SO WHY IS IT STILL MISSING? A possibility is that the author could have created Michael, as a fiction character, for the sake of this story. In this case, there are three possibilities about Dalia: · Either, the author never knew someone who was a victim of honour killing; i.e. to write this book, she 'borrowed' the story from somewhere else about a REAL woman who lost her life for illicitly loving a man. · Or, the author knew Dalia and ran with her a salon BUT sadly she died of natural causes or an accident (dying is not the prerogative of old age!) rather than as a victim of an honour killing. · Or, Dalia was a victim of honour killing BUT for a reason, not related to someone called Michael, that the author is reluctant to divulge; hence the creation of Michael as a convenient reason and cover. Violence against women is a serious crime and topic. So the author ought to have taken every precaution to stick to the FACTS surrounding this murder. Her fictional departure from the facts, documented by your reviewers, has NOT ONLY destroyed the credibility of this book BUT ALSO is a setback for the men and women who are fighting the honour killing tradition that is worldwide not just Jordanian, as the author implies in this book. By fictionalising her account about Dalia, the author has ALSO fictionalised honour killing in some people's minds. AND THAT IS THE REAL TRAGEDY ABOUT THIS BOOK! What a shame for such a lost opportunity to help women. Indeed, this book has been conceived by the author not with 'avenging' Dalia in mind but with leaving Jordan for a new life in Australia. I cannot recommend this book to anyone for a serious and thoughtful study of honour killing. However, I recommend a search through the internet-what a harvest of FACTUAL information one gets! Whoever was Dalia, may she rest in peace. Amen!
Rating: 
Summary: Deeply Touched
Review: I found this book to be a compelling and touching story of love.The auther did a wonderful job in paying tribute to a friend, a sister, who dared to dream and follow it through knowing that it would cost her life.I was deeply saddened by the death that Dalia suffered at the hands of her own family.
I believe that Norma has conveyed the story as it happens in "Modern Day" Jordan.And I congratulate her on accomplishing this work of literary art.This is a great way for her to speak out and make people aware of Honor Killings against woman in Jordan, especially since the woman in Jordan don't have the opportunity to stand up and defend themselves.
Rating:
Summary: Is this book a work of fiction or faction?
Review: I am a Western reviewer from Amman, a far more pleasant place than the author was willing to admit in her book! Style-wise, any Creative Writing course student is taught that a CREDIBLE book MUST obey two cardinal rules: Being consistent with itself AND with its surrounding setting(s). This book has broken both. The average Western reader is forgiven for believing this 'love story' outright, as he/she knows little or nothing about this story setting: Amman in Jordan AND its people! But to any reader who lives in or knows Jordan, the author has UNJUSTLY AND DRAMATICALLY vilified her OWN birthplace and country, presumably to justify her decision to emigrate to Australia. In fact, in 2002 (the year this book was published), Amman was nominated the Culture Capital of the Arab World! Indeed, how can this book be taken seriously when its Jordanian author does NOT know the states neighbouring her OWN country?! This consistency principle has been violated so often -whilst describing her OWN birthplace- that the WHOLE BOOK can be dismissed as a work of fiction. As for this book being consistent with itself (self-consistency), what is said in one page can be contradicted in another. For example, the author writes about her father: 'It had taken months of constant pleading just to get his permission to walk the few blocks to the salon'. But, somehow, the VERY SAME father had to deal with a cab driver who had just brought his daughter (the author) home after an evening out. So it seems, IN A REVERSE CASE OF JEKYLL AND HYDE, during the day, her father is her cruel jail keeper but, comes the evening, he becomes her loving and caring father! This book is littered with such contradictions. With both cardinal principles of consistency and self-consistency in tatters, it is ONLY safe to conclude the WHOLE 'love story' is a fictional tale written with unlocking Australia's gates, in mind. One FATAL CONTRADICTION -to be added to the ones documented by your previous reviewers- lies within this book ITSELF. IT IS BASED ON WHAT REAL LOVERS DO, ALL OVER THE WORLD: THEY EXCHANGE LOVE LETTERS, GIFTS AND TAKE PICTURES OF THEMSELVES TOGETHER. IN THIS BOOK, strangely enough, the author has FAILED to produce A SINGLE love note exchanged between Dalia and Michael OR A SINGLE photo of BOTH of them TOGETHER, from Michael's collection AND/OR Dalia's, to support her OWN BOOK claims about this FOURTEEN MONTH long 'passionate affair'. The ONLY photos published, BY THE AUTHOR, are of her and Dalia (ASSUMING it was indeed Dalia) but NONE of Michael, NOT EVEN ON HIS OWN! ACCORDING TO THIS BOOK, keeping such love memorabilia -IN MICHAEL'S HOME- would have been NATURAL as his family (SO MUCH PRAISED BY THE AUTHOR) KNEW about Dalia and the author ANYWAY! So, this TOTAL absence of any sentimental souvenirs is TRULLY bizarre UNLESS, OF COURSE, LOVE WAS NEVER IN THE AIR! Or indeed, UNLESS MICHAEL DOESN'T EXIST! Is Michael just a character created by the vivid and fertile imagination of the author? This would provide the logical explanation as to why the author has failed to publish ANY of Michael's photos to support her claims. INDEED, THIS BOOK HAS ONE ACHILLES' HEEL: IN IT, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO CORROBORATIVE MATERIAL EVIDENCE BACKING SUCH A 'LOVE STORY' CLAIM -NO EVIDENCE OF MICHAEL'S EXISTENCE AND NO LOVE LETTERS OR PHOTOS THAT CAN BE EXAMINED INDEPENDENTLY! NOTHING!! In the same spirit, one can therefore claim a 'love story' between Dalia and a Martian, with no proof provided or needed! Also, it has been claimed the author accepted her share of the blame regarding Dalia's death. Not so, as the following extract -FROM THE BOOK- shows: 'I've often wondered, if I had known that the decision to open the door to male customers would bring us such heartbreak down the road, would we have done it? I think, yes, we would have.' In the light of Dalia's murder, the above statement is not only shockingly unrepentant -from the author- but it suggests that Dalia would have WILLINGLY AND KNOWINGLY died for the 'love of Michael'! IT IS BEYOND BELIEF. So, is this book the best way to remember Dalia? I fear not. In 1977, the author Alex Haley devised the term 'FACTION' -to define a writing that is part FACT and part FICTION- when he was asked to describe the nature of his book 'Roots'. The ensuing question is then: Is this book, with its content and characters, a work of fiction or faction? As a penultimate point, the author describes Jordanian women as if they have only two choices: Stay in Jordan and be enslaved or move to the West and be free. Nothing could be further from REAL Jordanian life! Following the footsteps of other reviewers, may I suggest two alternative books to this one, for a serious and informative study about women in Jordan? They are both written by women and are both available in Amazon: * 'The Veil and the Male Elite' by Fatima Mernissi. * 'Women and Gender in Islam' by Leila Ahmed. As a conclusion, the literary world is full of biographies, about deceased people who naturally cannot exercise their right to reply, where fiction was presented as reality to great acclaim and commercial success initially. This book is so full of misinformation and contradictions -with itself and its Jordanian settings and people- that IT WOULD NOT STAND the meticulous scrutiny of an enterprising and dedicated journalist or writer willing to check, independently and objectively, all the facts surrounding this 'forbidden love' story, HERE IN AMMAN IN JORDAN, the hometown, birthplace and burial place of the poor Dalia. Bless her soul! Regards.
Rating:
Summary: MICHAEL DID NOT REALLY LOVE DALIA
Review: Being a man originally from the Middle East, I know how hard it is for a Moslem woman to marry a Christian man in Jordan. However, I find it unbelievable that a man like Michael who traveled abroad and had a military career wimpped out and could not face his father with his love Dalia. He could not prove his true love for her by accepting to convert to Islam and marry her, knowing that this would be the only way for them to stay together and most of all save her life. Instead, Michael preferred to continue dating the poor woman and take advantage of her until she died for his love. I know many Christian friends, Arabs and Westerners who converted to different religions to be with the one they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with. Bottom line, Michael preferred to stay a Christian even if that meant Dalia's life. Michael could not fight his father and family to be together with the love of his life, yet he expected Dalia to fight her family and ultimately die for his love. I say this with pain and sorrow in my heart for Dalia's tragic death. I believe that she did find true love and died for it. May she rest in peace. Norma was correct to write the story to bring more attention to the tragic honor killing practice in Jordan. I can see where she did not want to see her friend death go in vein. However, as I said before she really was not critical of Micheal and his contradictory behavior. Dalia's father is guilyt for killing his daughter, but Micheal is also guilty not to protect his true love in a society he should know very well.
Rating:
Summary: Does Michael belong to the world of fiction or faction?
Review: I am a Western reviewer from Amman, a place far more pleasant than the author was willing to admit in her book! About its style: any Creative Writing course student is taught that a CREDIBLE book MUST obey two cardinal rules: Being consistent with itself AND with its surrounding setting(s). This book has broken both, as we'll see. The Western reader is forgiven for believing this 'love story' outright, as he/she knows little or nothing about this story setting: Amman in Jordan AND its people! But to a reader who lives in or knows Jordan, the author has UNJUSTLY AND DRAMATICALLY vilified her OWN birthplace and country, presumably to justify her decision to emigrate to Australia. Indeed, how can one take seriously her 'Jordanian writer' credentials when she does NOT even know the states neighbouring Jordan? This consistency principle has been violated so often -whilst describing her OWN birthplace- that the WHOLE BOOK can be dismissed as a work of fiction. Ironically, in 2002 (the year this book was published), Amman was nominated the Culture Capital of the Arab World! As for this book being consistent with itself (self-consistency), what is said in one page can be contradicted in another. For example, the author writes about her father: 'It had taken months of constant pleading just to get his permission to walk the few blocks to the salon'. But, somehow, the VERY SAME father had to deal with a cab driver who had just brought his daughter (the author) home after an evening out. So it seems, during the day, her father is her cruel jail keeper but, comes the evening, he becomes her dotting 'softy' daddy! This book is littered with such contradictions. With both cardinal principles of consistency and self-consistency in tatters, it is ONLY safe to conclude the WHOLE 'love story' is a fairy tale written with unlocking Australia's gates, in mind. One further FATAL CONTRADICTION -to be added to the ones documented by your critical reviewers- lies in the book itself. IT IS BASED ON WHAT REAL LOVERS DO, ALL OVER THE WORLD: THEY EXCHANGE LOVE LETTERS, GIFTS AND TAKE PICTURES OF THEMSELVES TOGETHER. Strangely enough, in this book, the author has FAILED to produce A SINGLE love note exchanged between Dalia and Michael OR A SINGLE photo of BOTH of them TOGETHER, from Michael's collection AND/OR Dalia's, to support her OWN BOOK claims about this FOURTEEN MONTH long 'passionate affair'. The ONLY photos published are of the author and Dalia (ASSUMING it was indeed Dalia) but NONE of Michael, NOT EVEN ON HIS OWN! Keeping such love memorabilia -IN MICHAEL'S HOME- would have been EASY as his family (SO MUCH PRAISED BY THE AUTHOR) KNEW about Dalia and the author ANYWAY! So, this TOTAL absence of any sentimental souvenirs is TRULLY bizarre UNLESS, OF COURSE, LOVE WAS NEVER IN THE AIR! Or worse than that, UNLESS MICHAEL DOES NOT EVEN EXIST! Could Michael be just a character created by the vivid and fertile imagination of the author? This would explain why -JUST LIKE HIS PHOTOS- there has been NO PUBLIC evidence of him since the publication of this book, last November. INDEED, THIS BOOK HAS ONE ACHILLES' HEEL: THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO CORROBORATIVE MATERIAL EVIDENCE BACKING SUCH A 'LOVE STORY' CLAIM -NO EVIDENCE OF MICHAEL'S EXISTENCE AND NO LOVE LETTERS OR PHOTOS THAT CAN BE EXAMINED INDEPENDENTLY! NOTHING!! All what we have, in this book, are unsubstantiated and contradictory claims. In the same spirit, one can therefore claim a 'love story' between Dalia and a Martian, with no proof provided or needed! Also, it has been claimed the author accepted her share of the blame regarding Dalia's death. Not true, as the following extract -FROM THE BOOK- shows: 'I've often wondered, if I had known that the decision to open the door to male customers would bring us such heartbreak down the road, would we have done it? I think, yes, we would have.' In the light of Dalia's murder, the above statement is not only shockingly unrepentant -from the author- but it suggests that Dalia would have WILLINGLY AND KNOWINGLY died for the 'love of Michael'! IT IS BEYOND BELIEF. As a penultimate point, for the benefit of your Western readers, I'd like to point out how this book has had a negative impact on Jordanian readers: Some see this book as written by a Christian author blaming mainly the Muslims and Islam, over her unwitting role (as the matchmaker) in the death of her Muslim friend Dalia. Many see it as a part of a new literary crusade against Islam. Others, more to the extreme, refer now to Dalia's fate to point out that if she befriended Muslims, she would be alive today. Such is the counterproductive legacy of this book amongst those who have read it in Jordan when it was supposed to rally its readers against honour killing, according to the author and the book publicity campaign! So, is this book the best way to remember Dalia? I fear not. As a conclusion, the literary world is full of biographies (ESPECIALLY ABOUT DEAD PEOPLE WHO ARE UNABLE TO REPLY) where fiction was presented as reality to great acclaim and commercial success INITIALLY and to the embarrassment of so many EVENTUALLY. A typical example is 'Roots' (1977) by Alex Haley who coined the term 'FACTION' (i.e. part FACT and part FICTION) to describe his book, when historians challenged successfully its authenticity. Indeed, as for 'Hitler's Diaries' (1983) when scrutinised, this book WILL COLLAPSE under the meticulous scrutiny of an enterprising and dedicated journalist, researcher or writer willing to check, independently and objectively, all the facts surrounding this 'forbidden love' story, HERE IN AMMAN IN JORDAN, the hometown, birthplace and burial place of the poor Dalia. Bless her soul! With warmest regards to you all, from Amman!!
Rating:
Summary: Missing the ¿Big Picture¿ and Michael¿s support.
Review: As a [type of religion] woman involved in helping abused women, I've found this book utterly disappointing. What a let down! The author has reduced the WORLDWIDE occurrence of violence against women into an unconvincing 'forbidden love' tale between TWO people ONLY. I've found the 'teenage romance' style of this book uneven and too dramatic, whilst emphasising the superficial and skipping over providing the hard evidence to support the claims contained therein, as shall be seen. The author, by concentrating SOLELY on Dalia's tragedy, has failed to put honour killing in its proper worldwide perspective: Dalia's[end of life] is no different from that of a Western woman stabbed to [end of life] by her husband/boyfriend on the basis that 'if he cannot have her, then no other man can'. The point missed by the author in this book is that the difference between Dalia's [end of life] and that of a Western woman resides ONLY in the label used: In Jordan, it is given the emotive label of 'Honour Killing' whereas in the West it is 'simply' labelled 'Domestic Violence' not always punishable, just as in the case of Dalia's father. In this book, the author's portrayal of the West as the 'land of free love' is unfounded, as any Western reader, aware of violence against women, will attest. By reinforcing the 'holier than thou' attitude prevailing in the West at the expense of her OWN country, chapter after chapter, the author -out of revenge- misleads the unsuspecting Western reader into believing the dangerous fallacy that women are killed only in Jordan. So the Western reader ought to bear in mind that, in the Middle East, the content of this book is dismissed not just by well-meaning men but also by Christian, [type of religion] and [type of religion] feminists. Therefore, the author's following statement: 'I hope, by building on the work of activists in Jordan, who are constantly frustrated and suppressed, to bring closer to abolishing these crimes' is sadly a mere wishful and grandiose gesture, to impress the Western readership, because -as she has burnt ALL bridges between her and her country- her standing in Jordan is inexistent. In a short-sighted move, she has managed, WITH THIS BOOK, to antagonise 96% of the Jordanian population, with her sweeping statements about [type of religion], when actually enlisting EVERY man's support is VITAL to fight violence against women. The lasting impression, from reading this book, is that Michael did NOT love Dalia. Stringing her along, for 14 months till she died, with -ACCORDING TO THE AUTHOR- a promise of 'marrying her abroad sometimes in the future' tells a lot about his intention: HE WAS JUST FLIRTING. Presumably, he knew that ULTIMATELY he'd have to marry a fellow Catholic and Dalia a fellow [type of religion]! This explains why, AS STATED IN THIS BOOK, he asked his sister to accompany him - whenever he met Dalia and the author - to reassure his family that NOTHING was going on between him and Dalia. The fact it took Michael FIVE WHOLE YEARS to help the author leave Jordan in 2000, as she admits HERSELF, means his 'marriage abroad' was impossible (as already pointed out by a critical reviewer) AND mere talk. It ALSO means the author's following claim cannot be true: 'Michael still lives in Jordan and has been actively helping women who are at risk'. How many women has he 'helped' since 2000 then? From the author's account: NONE, TILL 2005! Moreover, since the author claims that Michael is helping women, then he must be a PUBLIC AND WELL KNOWN FIGURE in the Jordanian movement against honour killing. Yet, this fact, embedded in the author's claim, is NOT confirmed by reality, as the author has failed to mention -NOT EVEN ONCE- whether Michael PUBLICLY supports her version of the 'forbidden love story' AND her MUCH PUBLICIZED campaign against honour killings. In this book, the author's omission of ANY public support from Michael is the best proof, so far, that THE 'LOVE STORY' BETWEEN DALIA AND MICHAEL IS JUST A WORK OF FICTION! His lack of support and silence suggest that transforming his flirtatious relationship with Dalia into a 'passionate forbidden love story', by the author to the attention of the West, is A STEP TOO FAR AWAY FROM REALITY. The reason why the author concocted such a 'forbidden love' story was provided by one of your reviewers: Which Australian immigration officer would stop, from entering the country, a Middle Eastern woman with such a tragic story that no officer can verify on the ground, in Jordan?! In conclusion, Dalia, in her unmarked grave, deserves a far more fitting memorial, to celebrate her short life as an unfortunate victim of domestic violence, than this disappointing book. May she rest in peace! With Kind Regards!
Rating:
Summary: Dismal work of fiction - A Jordanian woman's view
Review: Honour killing is no laughing matter, but I found I was laughing at the vivid imagination with which Khouri paints a picture of a Jordan that's completely unreal! The story is good but therein lays the problem; it is just a story, FICTION! The book has obviously been written with the western reader in mind, hopefully a very dumb one, who believes anything they read. First & foremost the circumstances of Dalia & Michael meeting are unreal. THERE ARE NO UNISEX SALONS IN AMMAN, it wouldn't be feasible to get male customers who pay £1-6 per haorcut while women pay from £10-50 or even more! Hence it falls under "suspicious" how they met. The credibility of the writer ceases to exist. Another point. Christians. Just a small statistic, Christians comprise 5% of the population in Jordan. Yet they hold 12% of the seats in parliament. Contradicts all that talk about them being second-class. One of the first things noticed by tourists is how lovely churches & mosques stand side by side everywhere in Amman. And every sunday bells are rung for mass. Now to a more interesting point. The writer's relationship with Michael. We are made to believe her parents are as backward as Dalia's so she was in as much danger for associating with him. Then all of a sudden (following the murder) she can go to a cafe & meet him. She stays in Jordan for five years, FIVE WHOLE YEARS, always in contact with him (where only yesterday she wasn't allowed?!). And she is forced to flee for her life, after all that time! Last & not least is the chapter about Islam, oh how I laughed at this poor attempt to portray this religion, a truly hatchet job (a good tool for writers is thorough research, just a thought). What must've really happened is that she was involved with that man; Dalia's parents found out & murdered her. She felt guilty & needed to clear her conscious, by writing a fictional story & stuffing it with lies. The thing is though that the article in the law has been changed, no thanks to Khouri (to the murderers who believe in the legitimacy of honour crimes she justifies their actions by lying her way through the story). This book is a sad & unsuccessful attempt to become famous exploiting anti-Islam & anti-Arab feelings. It could have come at no better time. But the truth will be known & Khouri's real story will unravel eventually. I still can't believe this book is taking up so much reviewing space, it really shouldn't be taken any more seriously than someone claiming all arabs are oil sheikhs! A dismally obvious work of fiction!
Rating: 
Summary: Please read this book very carefully...
Review: I read this book with interest, since i am American, female, nominally Christian, and married to a Jordanian Muslim man. While Khouri's discussion of the law is insightful (remeniscent of Deleuze's essay Coldness & Cruelty), her account on the whole is emotionally manipulative and contradictory. She claims that ALL men in Arab society use physical violence to control women - except the men in her family. The impossibility of a strict Muslim woman working in a unisex salon has been taken up by another reviewer here. She quotes a Jordanian law which outlines the female dress code, but gives no citation for it, preventing the reader from verifying the facts herself. Photographs are forbidden in Islam? Clothes must not be brightly colored? Rubbish. I have seen hundreds of pictures of my husband's family. The women's dress runs the gamut from Western to traditional, and no one shies away from the camera. Perhaps life in her immediate family was as restrictive as she claims. I do not believe her sweeping generalizations would bear close scrutiny. Crimes against women are horrible and far too prevalent - men often literally get away with murder, and this should be stopped. However, this account is rife with inconsistencies and exaggerations. It is the angry, emotional account of a woman who wants revenge, and is willing to impugn an entire culture to achieve it. Yes, there is an interesting story here, but one that should be read carefully and critically and NOT taken as gospel.
Rating:
Summary: A loving couple or a ménage a trois?
Review: Perplexed by my Muslim friends' reaction, I read the book. I found myself reaching MOST UNEXPECTED conclusions I'd like to share with you, if I may. Thank you very much! My contribution has five sections. After Section One, I'll examine yet undiscovered aspects of this book that are central to its credibility. /SECTION ONE/ I liked the style. It is quick, captivating but can be uneven and DEPRESSING at times, because of its topic. Unaware of Jordanian culture, I had to read some parts repeatedly to grasp their meanings, so patience is REQUIRED!! /SECTION TWO/ ANY attentive reader can notice the author was TRULY IMPRESSIVE in her CONTINUOUS DRIVE to match Dalia with Michael, for the WHOLE period of 14 months till her murder. Ironically, it is THIS FACT that sowed the first seeds of doubt in my mind about any 'love story' between Michael and Dalia. For a start, THERE IS AN ASPECT NOT APPRECIATED ENOUGH IN OUR SECULAR WEST: They belonged to two DIFFERENT faiths that MATTER VERY MUCH in THEIR daily MIDDLE EASTERN lives; AT LEAST in Dalia's life: SHE OBVIOUSLY WAS A MUSLIM FAITHFUL. Also, RATHER IMPORTANTLY, the fact the author WAS INTERVENING in this relationship, DAY IN - DAY OUT, to 'MAKE OF IT A REALITY' (as she wrote), suggests that, without the author's relentless matchmaking, Dalia would NOT EVEN have noticed Michael. A PRACTICING MUSLIM WOMAN SENDING 'SIGNALS' TO A CHRISTIAN MAN? FICTIONAL AND UNBELIEVABLE! AS A PROOF, from the book, one notices the author becoming increasingly THE SOUL AND THE ENGINE of this 'relationship'. Quite often, one reads 'WE' and/or 'OUR' instead of 'Dalia' and/or 'Michael' as, for instance, in her following statement: "...the power of OUR successes pushed it (the threat on Dalia's life) back. WE'd started to feel invincible" This is why this 'relationship' looks more like a MÉNAGE A TROIS between Michael, the author and a reluctant Dalia, FROM BEGINNING TO END!! /SECTION THREE/ MOREOVER, as stated in the book, Michael and Dalia met ONLY 'a handful of times' during those 14 months (up to 15 times). Even then, they were NOT on their own, the author and Michael's sister accompanied them. So, even by a long stretch of imagination, it is VERY hard to believe anything close to 'love' could have developed between both of them, under those conditions, especially in Jordan, a country depicted as CONSERVATIVE AND BACKWARD in this book. UNDER THE DRACONIAN SOCIAL CONDITIONS DESCRIBED BY THE AUTHOR, TO FOSTER TRUE LOVE BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE, EVEN FROM THE SAME FAITH, 14 YEARS SEEM NEEDED RATHER THAN JUST 14 MONTHS! The above-mentioned facts made me realise there was NO LOVE between Michael and Dalia when she died. IMPOSSIBLE! A true love -between two people- does NOT need DAILY encouragement from outsiders (like the author in this case) to blossom -IT ACQUIRES A LIFE OF ITS OWN. HOWEVER, it needs DAILY MUTUAL nurturing, NOT just up to 15 TIMES IN 14 MONTHS! Passionate love does NOT thrive on exchanging OCCASIONAL phone calls, between DISTANT meetings, as mentioned in the book. THE LACK OF URGENCY AND PASSION BETWEEN THEM IS SO PALPABLE!! SO, AT BEST, THERE WAS JUST A 'SPECIAL FRIENDSHIP' BETWEEN THEM BUT NO LOVE AT ALL!! This explains why Dalia didn't inform her close Muslim relatives/friends about Michael: She had NO exciting news about love or romance to share. In fact, NOT EVEN mentioning, to them, the existence of Michael as A FRIEND means he was NOT as VITAL to her EMOTIONAL LIFE as we are led to believe. THE DEPICTION, IN THIS BOOK, OF THEIR 'LOVE STORY' IS TERMINALLY FLAWED, NO MATTER HOW ONE LOOKS AT IT. /SECTION FOUR/ Throughout the book, the very same message appears constantly: Dalia died because of Jordanian traditions and Islam. Even though I am an atheist, I beg to differ. It is too simplistic for a complete answer. Dalia's tragedy occurred at the end of a 14 months-long process, during which AND out of which her family was EXCLUDED, which explains -BUT, OF COURSE, DOES NOT CONDONE- the ferocity of their reaction when she was discovered. So it is not candid to gloss over the role of each participant in this tragedy (that engulfed FIVE people in all: Dalia, her father, the author, Michael and his sister) with the exception of that of Dalia's father who, in reality, was a LAST-MINUTE UNINVITED NEWCOMER to these events. Sooner or later, FOR OBJECTIVITY'S SAKE, the role, motive and responsibility of EACH PARTICIPANT -in this tragedy- have to be assessed and addressed FAIRLY AND OPENLY, if this book will ever have a relevance in the honour killings debate. Blaming Dalia's family ONLY may be tempting but is NOT the complete verdict. /SECTION FIVE/ Finally, this book is clearly written to win the applause of the Western audience, when it should be addressed to the people of the Middle East: Dalia died there NOT in the West. But, with blanket and over-the-top statements like 'Islam is a totalitarian regime operating under the guise of a religion' (why JUST Islam?), the author has made sure her book has ALREADY FAILED IN ITS MISSION because it will NEVER reach the Middle Eastern bookshops. I now appreciate the Muslim negative reaction to this book. Vilifying 25% of mankind, at a stroke, is unfair and irresponsible to fight violence against women. However, there is a faction for whom this book is a heavenly gift -The Muslim extremists for whom mixing with Christians is ALREADY an anathema. To them, this book confirms their long-held suspicions about Dalia: They will feel justified and vindicated in standing by her father, all these past seven years. In this respect, this book has done a great disservice to Dalia's memory. It is an own goal. Thank you Amazon for this platform to share our views.
Rating:
Summary: What is the connection between the author and Michael?
Review: As a Jordanian psychologist, I'd like to submit my review to you, with my all thanks for this opportunity. My review, as a set of essential points, starts with the study of the author's style and ends with a sad and unexpected irony, for a conclusion. Two of my points are questions that haven't, oddly enough, caught your reviewers' attention till now. They are the CONNECTION between the author and Michael AND the TRUE meaning and implication of the statement 'Dalia died for loving Michael'. /*/ The poor and 'sugary' teenage romance style isn't appropriate to narrate Dalia's TRAGIC life and convey the UNIVERSALITY of honour killings. Instead, the reader is sucked into the CONFINES of the PERSONAL life of the author. Therefore, this book acts like the author's PERSONAL DIARY that reflects her highs and lows whenever she 'took the pen', with 'consequently- NO structure OR 'global picture' in this book. For this reason, professionally speaking, it made an interesting reading into the author's character and motives. But, I must confess, reading it was a test of endurance, concentration and patience. /*/ She clearly spared Christianity the treatment she gave to Islam. Yet, AS SHE PUT IT HERSELF: ' YOU CAN HARDLY DISTINGUISH CHRISTIANS FROM MUSLIMS', in Jordan, from their daily behaviour. A case of double standard DETRIMENTAL to the believability of her book!! This is why it will never be accepted as a UNIVERSAL declaration of war against honour killings, despite the claim that it is dedicated to Dalia's life and memory. /*/ May I please clarify an important point glossed over by the author, about courtship in Jordan? A man EITHER declares his marriage intention to the woman 'if he REALLY loves her- within FEW MONTHS of meeting her OR he must be gallant enough to WITHDRAW to free her in her pursuit of love and marriage. MICHAEL DID NEITHER during the FOURTEEN MONTHS he knew Dalia. This lack of commitment speaks volume. YES, he was in awe before her beauty and so he wanted to see (and be seen with) her. BUT, NO, HE WAS NOT IN LOVE WITH HER. Also, from her published photographs, DALIA'S BEAUTY was SO STRIKING that it would be UNBELIEVABLE to assume that ONLY Michael was attracted to her beauty out of the WHOLE faithful male clientele of the salon! So, apart from sharing his Catholic faith, why has the author chosen only Michael for matchmaking, out of ALL the other (Muslim?) hopefuls? THE CONNECTION BETWEEN THE AUTHOR AND MICHAEL HAS NOT, THEREFORE, BEEN FULLY EXPLAINED IN THIS BOOK. /*/ In fact, the claim they were 'dating' is misleading because FOUR people were going out together: Dalia, the author, Michael AND his sister. That is NOT dating! /*/ Concerning Christianity & Islam, in a nutshell, Jesus is LOVED AND REVERED by MUSLIMS as GOD'S SPECIAL PROPHET 'it is an essential part of the Islamic faith. SO THE AUTHOR'S CLAIM, THAT CHRISTIANITY AND ISLAM ARE PERPETUALLY AT LOGGERHEADS AND HAVE TO BE ANTAGONISTIC, IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE. ACTUALLY, cases like Dalia&Michael are NOT as unique as this book suggests, for commercial reasons. JORDANIAN PEOPLE IN REAL LOVE SITUATION CROSS THE CHRISTIAN/MUSLIM BOUNDARY ALL THE TIME, WITHOUT MAKING THE FRONT PAGE NEWS OR THE SUBJECT OF A BOOK. /*/ As a psychologist, this book is fascinating: It is a classical example of how people give comforting meanings to events suggesting otherwise. After Dalia's murder, the other three people involved with her had to come to terms with her death. To accept she died needlessly, because of ILL-FOUNDED SUSPICIONS is UNDERSTANDABLY unbearable. That would mean her WHOLE life was meaningless. THIS IS WHY, FOR EXAMPLE, THE AUTHOR STATES: 'I UNDERSTOOD THAT DALIA WAS DEAD, THAT HE'D KILLED HER, BUT I COULDN'T ACCEPT IT'! So it was undeniably human to seek a comforting reason to ACCEPT her death: 'Dalia died for Michael' became the BEST justification of her death. Such a reason provided an ACCEPTANCE and a MEANING to her life ALSO: 'Dalia lived for Michael'! COINCIDENTLY, TODAY, IT ALSO PROVIDES THE CRUCIAL INGREDIENT TO MARKET THE BOOK SUCCESSFULLY IN THE WEST!!! /*/ A typical case of exaggerating facts for the benefit of the West is the portrayal of Dalia's family as strict Muslims. It is WRONG because her family SUPPORTED her in running a UNISEX hairdresser's with the CHRISTIAN author. STRICT Muslim parents will NEVER EVER allow their children 'DAUGHTER OR SON- to go into partnership with a Christian for a start. Also, STRICT Muslims 'MEN AND WOMEN- will NOT EVEN shake hands with the opposite sex, let alone massage their hair. I have myself witnessed such embarrassing situations where handshakes were spurned. Paradoxically, one wishes Dalia's family was as strict as the author claims. For if they were, not working in that salon would have saved her life! /*/ The HEART-BREAKING irony stemming from this book is the following: Dalia died because she and Michael were NOT in love. Indeed, IF THEY WERE, she would be ALIVE as Michael -OUT OF LOVE- would have done ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING (including converting to Islam) to marry her. Actually, from this book, Michael's behaviour towards Dalia -as a Jordanian man supposedly 'in love' with her- is so baffling that one wonders whether he has ever entered Dalia's life, the way and for the reason we are told he did! THEREFORE, THE ONLY CERTAINTY IN THIS BOOK IS THAT DALIA IS DEAD. As such, sadly, she can NEITHER voice her opinion about what has been said about her in this book NOR can she herself put to us her own version of the events. This book is so full of loose ends, unanswered questions and biased statements that it cannot be the definitive biography of Dalia. May you rest in peace, dear Dalia! With kind regards to you all in Amazon.
| 
