Rating: 
Summary: "My life twisted suddenly, unexpectedly."
Review: "Because I can no longer ignore death, I pay more attention to life," Treya Wilber observes in the face of cancer (p. 407). Shambhala recently published the Second Edition of this book, twelve years after the death of Ken Wilber's wife. Heart wrenching and profound, this book lives up to its title by taking its reader through all the grace and grit of his wife's five year struggle with cancer. "Grace and grit" summarizes Treya's entire life, Wilber writes. "Being and doing. Equanimity and passion. Surrender and will. Total acceptance and fierce determination. Those two sides of her soul, the two sides she wrestled with all her life, the two sides that she had finally brought together into one harmonious whole" (pp. 390-91). Derived in part directly from Treya's journals, Wilber's book is as much about Treya's "nightmarish tour through medical hell" (p. 23), as it is about the couple's ability to "stay open to life and grow in compassion" (p. 341) through "profound inner change" (p. 164)."GRACE AND GRIT is her story; and our story," Wilber writes (p. x). It is a real love story that unfolds against a Buddhist backdrop that tells us: "Life is a bubble, a dream, a reflection, a mirage" (p. 363). At age 36, Treya met the man of her dreams, in 1983. They married four months later. Ten days after the wedding, Treya discovered she had breast cancer, and then underwent surgery and radiation. Eight months later, she suffered a recurrence, followed by more surgery and eight months of soul-poisoning chemotherapy (p. 279) and baldness. Eight months later, Treya was diagnosed with diabetes, followed by years of recurrent tumors throughout her lungs and brain (pp. 240; 268). Her cancer teaches Treya many things, including real suffering: "There is suffering in this world, no way around that one" (p. 280). However, through tonglen meditation, Treya finds compassion for it (p. 315). She learns "to be human. To be truly human. That is most important" (p. 170). Treya learns to "live in the present, not in the future, giving her allegiance to what is, not what might be" (p. 312). She discovers "passionate equanimity--to be fully passionate about all aspects of life, about one's relationship with spirit, to care to the depths of one's being but with no trace of clinging or holding" (pp. 335-6). Of the five Wilber books I've read, this one comes closest to a memoir, offering its reader a revealing look at Ken Wilber, the man and "support person." "I'm a ... " he says (p. 361), as he silently performs his "daily chores" for Treya, including cleaning, laundry, cooking, dishes, groceries, and vegetable juicing (pp. 336, 362). He writes, "learning to make friends with cancer; learning to make friends with the possibility of an early and perhaps painful death, has taught me a great deal about making friends with myself, as I am, and a great deal about making friends with life, as it is" (p. 356). He also learns to "practice the wound of love:" "Real love hurts; real love makes you totally vulnerable and open; real love will take you far beyond yourself; and therefore real love will devastate you. I kept thinking, if love does not shatter you, you do not know love" (p. 396). "Treya's story is everyperson's story," Wilber writes in his Introduction to the the Second Edition of his book. As such, it has much to offer any reader interested in personal growth, spirituality, relationships, illness, or caretaking, and it deserves a large audience. It also offers an easy introduction to Ken Wilber's vision. This is both a five-star book, and a five-pointed cosmic star book, "luminous and radiant." G. Merritt
Rating:
Summary: "My life twisted suddenly, unexpectedly."
Review: "Because I can no longer ignore death, I pay more attention to life," Treya Wilber observes in the face of cancer (p. 407). Shambhala recently published the Second Edition of this book, twelve years after the death of Ken Wilber's wife. Heart wrenching and profound, this book lives up to its title by taking its reader through all the grace and grit of his wife's five year struggle with cancer. "Grace and grit" summarizes Treya's entire life, Wilber writes. "Being and doing. Equanimity and passion. Surrender and will. Total acceptance and fierce determination. Those two sides of her soul, the two sides she wrestled with all her life, the two sides that she had finally brought together into one harmonious whole" (pp. 390-91). Derived in part directly from Treya's journals, Wilber's book is as much about Treya's "nightmarish tour through medical hell" (p. 23), as it is about the couple's ability to "stay open to life and grow in compassion" (p. 341) through "profound inner change" (p. 164). "GRACE AND GRIT is her story; and our story," Wilber writes (p. x). It is a real love story that unfolds against a Buddhist backdrop that tells us: "Life is a bubble, a dream, a reflection, a mirage" (p. 363). At age 36, Treya met the man of her dreams, in 1983. They married four months later. Ten days after the wedding, Treya discovered she had breast cancer, and then underwent surgery and radiation. Eight months later, she suffered a recurrence, followed by more surgery and eight months of soul-poisoning chemotherapy (p. 279) and baldness. Eight months later, Treya was diagnosed with diabetes, followed by years of recurrent tumors throughout her lungs and brain (pp. 240; 268). Her cancer teaches Treya many things, including real suffering: "There is suffering in this world, no way around that one" (p. 280). However, through tonglen meditation, Treya finds compassion for it (p. 315). She learns "to be human. To be truly human. That is most important" (p. 170). Treya learns to "live in the present, not in the future, giving her allegiance to what is, not what might be" (p. 312). She discovers "passionate equanimity--to be fully passionate about all aspects of life, about one's relationship with spirit, to care to the depths of one's being but with no trace of clinging or holding" (pp. 335-6). Of the five Wilber books I've read, this one comes closest to a memoir, offering its reader a revealing look at Ken Wilber, the man and "support person." "I'm a ... " he says (p. 361), as he silently performs his "daily chores" for Treya, including cleaning, laundry, cooking, dishes, groceries, and vegetable juicing (pp. 336, 362). He writes, "learning to make friends with cancer; learning to make friends with the possibility of an early and perhaps painful death, has taught me a great deal about making friends with myself, as I am, and a great deal about making friends with life, as it is" (p. 356). He also learns to "practice the wound of love:" "Real love hurts; real love makes you totally vulnerable and open; real love will take you far beyond yourself; and therefore real love will devastate you. I kept thinking, if love does not shatter you, you do not know love" (p. 396). "Treya's story is everyperson's story," Wilber writes in his Introduction to the the Second Edition of his book. As such, it has much to offer any reader interested in personal growth, spirituality, relationships, illness, or caretaking, and it deserves a large audience. It also offers an easy introduction to Ken Wilber's vision. This is both a five-star book, and a five-pointed cosmic star book, "luminous and radiant." G. Merritt
Rating:
Summary: A moving, make-you-think, life-affecting work
Review: 'Grace and Grit' is the single most moving book I've ever read. If you read through all the other comments, they cover exactly what I felt, but I still had to add my own opinion. This is my first journey into the transpersonal philosophy of Ken Wilber, and I found the spirituality and philosophical aspects of the book not just fascinating, but necessary. The whole work, from Treya's letters, to her journal, to Wilber's additions, fit into one seamless whole that packed a hell of a punch. It was not just the poignant love story, but the amazing way that Treya lived through that part of her life, and the honest way the Wilber approached it in the book. It is a work that I will always carry with me, its message too important to ignore. And I will urge every single person I know to read it, if just to be exposed to the impact of it all.
Rating:
Summary: the best book I have ever read
Review: Although I am a voracious reader, usually at least one book a day, I was so overwhelmed by this book that I did not read another for over two months. It works on every level, as a love story, as a tutorial in philosophy and religion, as a guide through the maze of spiritual offerings in today's world and as a primer for how to be helpful to people with terminal illnesses. It is a great introduction to Ken Wilber's works, and gives the reader a look at his heart as well as his mind. Treya's life and death are my inspiration for the way I want to live, and when the time comes, the way I want to die. Reading this book was the turning point of my life, and I am grateful to Ken Wilber for having the courage to bear his and Treya's souls for his readers' benefit
Rating:
Summary: Masterful
Review: An extraordinary story which makes such a welcome and necessary change from the superficial and happy-clappy stories about illness that all have such happy endings. This has a sad, powerful, truthful, enlightening ending. Treya dies, just like nearly all cancer patients and yet her dying IS meaningful, but not in the New Age way of "its all just your karma, or a life lesson you have brought upon yourself" - puke! The philosophy is outstanding. Highly intelligent and compassionate. No-one I have ever read about worked at hard as getting her spirit well (in case that might cure her cancer) as Treya and yet she dies. A definitive repost indeed to all the Caroline Myss and Louise Hay's of the world. I have grown deeply angry with the "you can heal your life/ you create your own reality" approaches as I struggle with (I hope) grace and grit through my own, possibly terminal, illness. This book is a rare shining example of truth - bright, brilliant, loving truth - in amongst the heap of self-righteous publications out there. Read it to be moved. To be enlightened. To grow in wisdom and courage.
Rating: 
Summary: A balanced look at alternative medicine
Review: As a cancer survivor, I liked the book's wise and balanced view of conventional and alternative medical approaches. I'm tired of books that blithely advise treating a life-threatening illness like with wheatgrass juice and happy thoughts. Those treatments sound a lot more appealing than chemotherapy, granted, but the fact is that few of them are backed by anything but anecdoctal evidence. It requires a level of courage and independent thinking to choose "the best of both worlds" and that is exactly what Ken and Treya Wilber managed to do. This book wanders a bit -- it's really a blend of the couple's personal story as well as the author's spiritual philosophy as it was informed by their experience. But I found it compassionate and heartening, even despite the sad outcome.
Rating:
Summary: Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
Review: As you can see from previous reviews, there is a general consensus that this is simply a wonderful book, and I'm inclined to agree. Wiber masterfully combines a running dialogue on the nature of reality, soul and spirit with an utterly heartbreaking account of pain,love and loss. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll become enlightened. Buy it. Read it. Buy it for all your friends.
Rating:
Summary: One of the best books you'll ever read!
Review: Buy this book for everyone who matters to you. Treya's story is one that speaks to the deepest truths of human existance. No doubt, as you turn the pages of this incredible journey, you will be transformed.
Rating:
Summary: ich weine und lache und lebe
Review: Das berührendste, das bewegendste, das belebenste Buch, das ich je gelesen habe. Ich fühle Wunsch nach Leben und meine Sorgen verabschieden sich lächelnd von mir, denn durch Treya lerne ich, zu akzeptieren. Ich will meine Liebe entfalten, ich will sie leben und ich danke Treya und Ken, daß sie mir die Augen öffneten. Es ist ein Buch, das Dich tief im Inneren trifft, ein Buch, das Dich verändert. UNBEDINGT LESEN! UNBEDINGT!
Rating:
Summary: Equanimity? Equanimity!
Review: Friend gave me to read this book, after my former wife passed away due to metastatic breast cancer (I wished I read it years ago!). When I found a strength to read it, I was touched how similar experiences Ken and I had. Hopelessness. The toughest one. His openess about dropping meditation, having few beers for lunch, booze for breakfast, contemplating shotgun purchase, hitting Treya during an argument...all by a (perhaps) most important philosopher/psychologist of our era. That takes courage, to write abou it. Equanimity, a simple word with so much challenge built-in. I supported then_my_wife with her choices of not going for chemo, radiation and sticking to Gerson diet, yoga, meditation, and enzymes, mega vitamins etc (treatments Treya did at the end of her life). She lived great 6 years (without pouring poisons into her body). The book is intertwined with diary style, philosophy, letters, dreams, narration of their lifes. I wish he had included his coping mechanism, after Treya's death, for its very difficult to find the balance after "the pull" of events ends . Also, there is no word about how they managed financially. Living is expensive, so is dying. Then, in my opinion, the story would be complete. Regardless, I highly recommend this book.
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