Rating: 
Summary: A deeply moving and rewarding account.
Review: The strength of this book is the sheer honesty that eminates from the hearts of Ken Wilber and his wife Treya. Here is the remarkable and heart-wrenching tale of two souls traversing the perilous landscape of "cancer", with all its fear, uncertainty, and vulnerability. Yes, as the sub-title suggests, Treya does ultimately die from the cancer. Yet the story is ultimately uplifting and inspirational. For from the ordeal, both husband and wife grow profoundly, both within the relationship, and as individuals on the spiritual path. The book is also highly recommended to anyone who is dealing with cancer - either as the "victim" or the caregiver. The book alternates between journal entries from Treya, and written commentries from Ken. His contribution also includes brief summaries of his own philosophy and understanding of the spiritual journey. Lastly, I would like to say that the book provides an intimate view of the process of facing a terminal illness and death itself - and we all have to face death some day.
Rating:
Summary: The Human Condition, Financial Independence and Love as Fate
Review: This autobiographical account of five years in the life of a living reclusive genius is a precious, rare and courageous, extremely personal gift to the world -- and as such it is a comforting testament to the gap that can exist between knowledge and action, between intellectual, emotional, spiritual and physical intelligences, especially in our thirties. Just as film at its best can take you into worlds you might otherwise never have understood, biography at its best can teach you things about human frailty and yourself no academic or scholarly work can ever teach. One glaring omission in this account of a startling five year descent into borderline pathology and back -- only to face an all too common and inevitable form of death with hard won Buddhist equanimity, grace and ecstasy -- is the lack of any mention of gratitude by either Ken or Treya for the rare financial independence that afforded them not one financial obstacle in their search for healing and wholeness both separately and together, though they had to have acknowledged that rare blessing to each other at some point in their trials. That financial independence is rarely afforded others in equally difficult journeys . . . . every last one of us is similarly tested to the limits of our particular ability to endure and grow ever more authentic unto death at any age, very few of us with that kind of financial independence. If you keep that in mind as you read a gift published by a now quite elite and privileged living genius -- a status that is likely quite confounding and distasteful to Ken Wilber himself -- it is one of two books by positive puer Ken Wilber that can change your life. The other, an extraordinary summary of twenty-five years of his thought written for the intelligent seeker, is A Brief History of Everything.
Rating:
Summary: TREYA LIVED A COMPLETE LIFE AND DIED A BEAUTIFUL DEATH
Review: This book is a "supermarket" on love story, comedy,
psychology, spirituality, growth, enlightenment, alternative
medicines, life, death and healing. A real page turner that allows
you waste no time to finish it straight away. I read it during my
vacation two weeks ago. I took it with me during bath and each trip to
the loo. Every person, especially women,with or without cancer must
read this book. This is also a perfect gift for those with cancer
(the only downfall is of course the sensitive death issue so openly
talked about in this book the reality of which so many people in such
a predicament, both the patients and support people, find it difficult
to face and prepare for. This is most unfortunate since this could
perhaps be the only truly significant help and hope for both patients
and support people to make the remaining time left, say if miracle
doesn't come, worth living.)It is a course on living (also death)
and how to be human and to accept all the human conditions that go
with it, written by both Ken and Treya Wilber. Ken Wilber has
skillfully increased my admiration and faith in the practicality and
superiority, both spiritual and intellectual, of (eastern)mysticism,
especially Buddhism, over mythical religions such as mainstream
Christianity and Islam (since there are also mystic branches in both
religions), although he wouldn't call himself a Buddhist for his deep
affinity for Christian mysticism and Vedanta Hinduism (despite his
rigorous Buddhist practice).As he noted in the book jocularly:
"All religions are the same, especially Buddhism". His
love and dedication for Treya was so deeply touching. Treya's
remarkable endurance and psychological/spiritual health despite
extreme agony, pain and suffering she went through was unequaled. Her
enormous love of life and calm acceptance of her imminent death was a
true epitome of the "passionate equanimity" she coined (she
still read her favorite phrases from her favorite spiritual books Ken
wrote on cards in bold after she was almost totally blind due to her
malignant brain tumor). The title of this book was taken from the
last entry she put on her journal two days before she died that also
signified this harmonious paradox and her victory of her lifetime
balance seeking between doing and being. A both are
"gifted" with advanced intelligence (Ken Wilber is a
intellectual, material and spiritual. They were lucky to have each
other because they beautified each other in every way, though under
extreme duress the strength of their love and commitment to each other
wasn't without challenge which once almost tore them apart. This
book has "quietly" changed me (perhaps also my life, I can't
tell yet). I didn't feel it straight away but later I realised how
this book and Treya's incessant and "joyful" (she was a joy,
in spite of everything)struggle has always been on the back of my mind
ever since. In so many ways I can see my reflection in Treya. She
was single for a long time before she met Ken in her 36 years of age
(and sentenced with breast cancer 10 days after their wedding). She
was attractive and highly intelligent. I am in my early thirties and
unmarried and many think I am attractive and highly intelligent. She
was a writer, so am I. She had a deep interest in meditation,
spirituality, philosophy and mysticism, so do I. She had been
struggling all along searching for her daemon (one's inner deity or
guiding spirit, vocation, "life's work"), so have I. Her life
was a balancing act between yin and yang, the feminine and masculine
aspects of herself, between the intellectual and artistic sides of her
psyche, between taking control and assuming responsibility on one side
(masculine, yang, doing) and letting go, surrender and going with the
flow on the other (feminine, yin,being/accepting). Doing is
"obsessed" with producing something, making something, achieving
something; it is aggressive, competitive, oriented toward the future
and depended on rules and judgement. Being, otoh, is embracing the
present, accepting a person for what he is, not for he can do; it
values relationship, inclusion, acceptance, compassion and care. I am
struggling in that area too. Treya felt she had too much yang, had
always valued doing over being; the reason why she changed her name
from Terry, which she thought to be a man's name, to a more feminine
Treya (from estrella, Spanish word for "star"). I feel myself
too much prone to my masculine side too. She was the oldest in her
family, so am I, hence this relentless sense of responsibility of
being "the oldest son" in both of us. Now, I can be more
accepting things as they really are. I'm still uptight, passionate
and obsessed about doing, producing, achieving and perfection, but
more relaxed and calm (passionate equanimity) and more fair and
generous to myself. My mind is more controlled and tamed, also due to
Zen meditation I'm beginning to take. I'm slowly deserting the
obsession for meaning (the meaning of life is there is no meaning in
life, life just is). Less ruminating on a perceived bargaining on
that. The part when she was dying was the most beautiful. It was a
lucid death, commonly practiced by the Tibetans. She was in complete
control (she more or less decided the timing of her own death), very
ecstatic about "going" and completely conscious (she refused
pain killer because she wanted to remain alert) until the very end,
maintaining a meditative posture prescribed by Tibetan Buddhism,
guided by her ever present beloved and loving husband who kept reading
her the instruction even after her clinical death (the accompanying
"Tibetan Book of the Dead", translated by Robert Thurman, the
most profound, sophisticated and complete account on the science of
death and the art of dying, is also recommended). By the time she
opened her eyes for the last time and gazed to everyone present in the
room and exhaled her last breath at the age of 41, much tear has been
profusely shed from my eyes. What even more remarkable was the fact
that she closed her gaping mouth, due to rigor mortis, by HERSELF 1
hour 45 minutes after her death and, then, smiled! (A sign of
advanced level of enlightenment in Tibetan Buddhism)! If death could
be that beautiful, I'm looking forward to my own death.
Rating:
Summary: TREYA LIVED A COMPLETE LIFE AND DIED A BEAUTIFUL DEATH
Review: This book is a "supermarket" on love story, comedy,psychology, spirituality, growth, enlightenment, alternativemedicines, life, death and healing. A real page turner that allowsyou waste no time to finish it straight away. I read it during myvacation two weeks ago. I took it with me during bath and each trip tothe loo. Every person, especially women,with or without cancer mustread this book. This is also a perfect gift for those with cancer(the only downfall is of course the sensitive death issue so openlytalked about in this book the reality of which so many people in sucha predicament, both the patients and support people, find it difficultto face and prepare for. This is most unfortunate since this couldperhaps be the only truly significant help and hope for both patientsand support people to make the remaining time left, say if miracledoesn't come, worth living.)It is a course on living (also death)and how to be human and to accept all the human conditions that gowith it, written by both Ken and Treya Wilber. Ken Wilber hasskillfully increased my admiration and faith in the practicality andsuperiority, both spiritual and intellectual, of (eastern)mysticism,especially Buddhism, over mythical religions such as mainstreamChristianity and Islam (since there are also mystic branches in bothreligions), although he wouldn't call himself a Buddhist for his deepaffinity for Christian mysticism and Vedanta Hinduism (despite hisrigorous Buddhist practice).As he noted in the book jocularly:"All religions are the same, especially Buddhism". Hislove and dedication for Treya was so deeply touching. Treya'sremarkable endurance and psychological/spiritual health despiteextreme agony, pain and suffering she went through was unequaled. Herenormous love of life and calm acceptance of her imminent death was atrue epitome of the "passionate equanimity" she coined (shestill read her favorite phrases from her favorite spiritual books Kenwrote on cards in bold after she was almost totally blind due to hermalignant brain tumor). The title of this book was taken from thelast entry she put on her journal two days before she died that alsosignified this harmonious paradox and her victory of her lifetimebalance seeking between doing and being.A both are"gifted" with advanced intelligence (Ken Wilber is aintellectual, material and spiritual. They were lucky to have eachother because they beautified each other in every way, though underextreme duress the strength of their love and commitment to each otherwasn't without challenge which once almost tore them apart.Thisbook has "quietly" changed me (perhaps also my life, I can'ttell yet). I didn't feel it straight away but later I realised howthis book and Treya's incessant and "joyful" (she was a joy,in spite of everything)struggle has always been on the back of my mindever since. In so many ways I can see my reflection in Treya. Shewas single for a long time before she met Ken in her 36 years of age(and sentenced with breast cancer 10 days after their wedding). Shewas attractive and highly intelligent. I am in my early thirties andunmarried and many think I am attractive and highly intelligent. Shewas a writer, so am I. She had a deep interest in meditation,spirituality, philosophy and mysticism, so do I. She had beenstruggling all along searching for her daemon (one's inner deity orguiding spirit, vocation, "life's work"), so have I. Her lifewas a balancing act between yin and yang, the feminine and masculineaspects of herself, between the intellectual and artistic sides of herpsyche, between taking control and assuming responsibility on one side(masculine, yang, doing) and letting go, surrender and going with theflow on the other (feminine, yin,being/accepting). Doing is"obsessed" with producing something, making something, achievingsomething; it is aggressive, competitive, oriented toward the futureand depended on rules and judgement. Being, otoh, is embracing thepresent, accepting a person for what he is, not for he can do; itvalues relationship, inclusion, acceptance, compassion and care. I amstruggling in that area too. Treya felt she had too much yang, hadalways valued doing over being; the reason why she changed her namefrom Terry, which she thought to be a man's name, to a more feminineTreya (from estrella, Spanish word for "star"). I feel myselftoo much prone to my masculine side too. She was the oldest in herfamily, so am I, hence this relentless sense of responsibility ofbeing "the oldest son" in both of us.Now, I can be moreaccepting things as they really are. I'm still uptight, passionateand obsessed about doing, producing, achieving and perfection, butmore relaxed and calm (passionate equanimity) and more fair andgenerous to myself. My mind is more controlled and tamed, also due toZen meditation I'm beginning to take. I'm slowly deserting theobsession for meaning (the meaning of life is there is no meaning inlife, life just is). Less ruminating on a perceived bargaining onthat.The part when she was dying was the most beautiful. It was alucid death, commonly practiced by the Tibetans. She was in completecontrol (she more or less decided the timing of her own death), veryecstatic about "going" and completely conscious (she refusedpain killer because she wanted to remain alert) until the very end,maintaining a meditative posture prescribed by Tibetan Buddhism,guided by her ever present beloved and loving husband who kept readingher the instruction even after her clinical death (the accompanying"Tibetan Book of the Dead", translated by Robert Thurman, themost profound, sophisticated and complete account on the science ofdeath and the art of dying, is also recommended). By the time sheopened her eyes for the last time and gazed to everyone present in theroom and exhaled her last breath at the age of 41, much tear has beenprofusely shed from my eyes. What even more remarkable was the factthat she closed her gaping mouth, due to rigor mortis, by HERSELF 1hour 45 minutes after her death and, then, smiled! (A sign ofadvanced level of enlightenment in Tibetan Buddhism)! If death couldbe that beautiful, I'm looking forward to my own death.
Rating:
Summary: lover of grace
Review: This is simply THE most wonderful book I have ever read , Ken is amazing and so real, And she just IS.
Rating:
Summary: Hard Won Wisdom
Review: To be perfectly honest, some of the other Ken Wilbur books that I have read have tended to have been excessively cerebral and potentially offputting to the general reader - they are like academic textbooks which assume prior knowledge of psychology, philosophy and the sciences, which one has to labor through in order to "get it" in the end. There is also a certain smugness in the elegant systems that he builds that always seemed so far removed from the messiness of daily life, and I have always believed that spirituality, has to be lived to be understood.This book is exact opposite of the above, it is an inspiration about how to live life - in all its pain and imperfections and finally the redemptive power of love. I can only say that I one of the few times I have felt truly in awe of a person was throughout the reading of this book. It touches on all the important questions life, death, love, destiny, purpose, spirituality, the relationship between the soul and the body - and most of all it has the potential to heal and transform. My friend Hiromi - to whom I lent this book when her mother was dying of cancer told me she could only read a few pages at a time without putting it down because the shock of recognition and empathy was too great, yet she could not help but read it from cover to cover. Instead of abstract platitudes she received wisdom that was won at a high price. She belies that it helped her come to terms and lent her support through the whole experience and is helping her to heal. And perhaps there is really not much more I can add to an endorsement like that.
Rating:
Summary: Lessons in living
Review: Treya Killam Wilber shares her love of life and determination to live that life fully, even as she enters the "valley of the shadow." She eats healthfully, she exercises, she makes love, she laughs, she cries, and when her time approaches, she reaches out in joy, peace and love to envelop her mortal end and start anew. But there's no sugar-coating going on in this book -- Ken Wilber shares all the resentments he feels as the heavy burden of caretaker falls to him and as he must cope with the physical changes of his beloved Treya. We hear from Treya too as her anger at her illness overtakes her from time to time. There are no saints here -- just two very intelligent and brave people in love with one another, unafraid to show their less heroic sides as they grapple with and triumph over Treya's illness. And triumph they do, as you will by reading this story.
Rating:
Summary: Heartbreakingly Beautiful...
Review: Upon reaching the end of this text, I literally had to hold the book vertically in front of me so that the steady flow of tears (of overwhelming joy and sadness) would not drench it.
This book is a guide to being a support person.
This book is a guide to living and dying.
This book is biographical and autobiographical.
This book is one of the most vulnerable and skillfully conveyed pieces of practice I have ever encountered.
Please read this book AT LEAST once.
Namaste!
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