Rating: 
Summary: French or Foe
Review: 28 years of teaching French, French culture, French history; 32 trips to France for business and pleasure; dear friends in Metz, Rueil-Malmaison, and Rennes; acquaintances in Toulouse and I STILL learned lots from Polly Pratt's delightful little book "French or Foe". Highly recommend to anyone travelling to France, especially for the first time, either for tourism or for business. Very important to read, re-read, then commit to memory the sections on everyday protocol. Polly's advice is right on the money. The French aren't just like Americans, but simply speak another language. There are some chasms between our values, based upon history-driven life experiences, and it is well to have an appreciation for those differences before leaving the USA. A lire! Amusez-vous, et bon voyage!
Rating: 
Summary: Essential reading for Americans moving to Paris
Review: I have lived in Paris for thirteen years, and "French or Foe" is the ONE book I recommend to all the new arrivals I meet. Yes, even those who already speak good French, which makes a lot less difference than you might think to the culture shock. That is because this book is the most directly helpful. The advice in "French or Foe" can make a real difference to your everyday happiness if you live or travel here, especially if you are having a hard time. There are few people, indeed, who could extract no useful information from this book; even they will at least have some good laughs, since the book is full of funny and usually enlightening anecdotes. My French friends who have read the French translation say they all learned something about themselves!The fact is, some things about France will always be difficult for us "Anglo-Saxons" (as the French call all native English-speakers), no matter how assimilated. Human nature may be the same everywhere, but the basic assumptions of our two cultures are very different. I'm sure things are hard for the French in America too. But Polly Platt's book makes the hardest things easier. She gives you practical advice and clear reasons why the French behave in puzzling ways. For example, in America if you complain to a store manager about a store employee, the employee is very likely to get into trouble, and you will certainly get an apology. In France, the store manager will try to put you in the wrong. That is because in France, it is almost impossible to fire someone, so the manager will have to live with the employee for a long time to come, and is better off antagonizing a single (foreign) customer. Therefore, if you have a complaint, you have to try to save the employee's and the manager's face, while presenting your problem as something that their expertise can help you with. This really works! And the MAGIC phrase, "Excuse me for bothering you, but I have a problem" is one of the great keys for how to get along in France. There are many of these tips in the book. Just this week, I forgot one of "French or Foe"'s lessons and left a meeting without shaking everyone's hand. They were all visibly shocked. To the French, this is terribly bad manners. Yet of course it is not in America. I only recently discovered that it was Just Not Done to wish people here "Happy New Year" before the New Year had actually arrived! "Common sense" doesn't necessarily help when you are in a different culture. This is where "French or Foe" steps in. Yes, the formal dinner party information may seem a bit out of date, and is perhaps irrelevant to most readers; but believe it or not, this kind of dinner party is still thriving in certain parts of Paris, and since it is exactly the kind of thing that makes Americans feel most uncomfortable, I don't think it is amiss to have a few tips on how to handle one. If nothing else, knowing the formal routine could make dinner with the boss or the friend's grandparents, or a birthday meal in a fancy restaurant, less intimidating. The main gap in the book is probably the relative lack of information for younger people meeting the French in more casual settings. That is not the author's background. However, it's also true Americans don't tend to have as much trouble with that environment, which is more similar to their own. And those "casual" young French people often have surprisingly different ideas from the "casual" young Americans-- this book helps explain why. I have to admit that this book is not for everyone.
It's not necessarily for young students: they are likely to meet French kids their own age who speak English and have a more international outlook, and they tend to have protective arrangements made for them before they arrive. It's not necessarily for people who live in the provinces: "French or Foe" is Paris-centered (as is France itself!). Some French people announce angrily that the France in this book is not THEIR France. Of course not! THEIR France has their own loving friends and relatives; their own native language; their own personal past; their own habits and manners learned implicitly in childhood. All advantages a foreigner does not have. The claim that their own foreign acquaintances do not have problems in France can be taken with a grain of salt: how many foreigners complain about a country to its natives, rather than to their own compatriots? No, this book is about France as experienced by Americans. (Although at least two British people whom I have met here were given "French or Foe" by the British embassy and told to read it before moving.) And it does a great job explaining things that are hard for us to understand about this wonderful country. Vive la France!
Rating:
Summary: Excellent book with a few minor flaws
Review: I thoroughly enjoyed Mme Platt's book and recommend it often to anyone going to France or any other predominately French speaking place. Having spent a good deal of time in Francophone countries (France, Belgium) I found that some of her examples, however, must be taken with a grain of salt as hyperbolic illustrations. Her descriptions of cultural interactions are often rather myopically focused on professional academics and more often on the very affluent. As long as one keeps in mind this lens through which Mme. Platt seems to view the world, this is an extremely useful and often entertaining book.
Rating:
Summary: A Must for Travel to France
Review: Having just returned from France two weeks ago, "French or Foe?" in hand, I'm happy to have found a forum to share my delight that I'd bought and read this book. Having lived in France, briefly, 20 years ago, I'm happy to say that with the help of this book and perhaps some increased tolerance on the part of the French, my experience was a wonderful one, and I can't wait to return. In particular, her suggested :"Excusez-moi de vous deranger, mais..." got me through several difficulties and turned them into productive and enjoyable encounters. In particular, when driving through a town in southern France, I had difficulty in finding the correct road out of town...I consistently returned to the same place and was getting quite embarrassed that my lack of progress was witnessed by a local woman sitting on her stoop, stoney-faced. When I used those magic words, she leaped to the side of my car with a huge smile on her face, told me what I needed to know, and made me feel as though I'd made not only my day, but hers! I used this phrase several other times, and along with many other tips and word of encouragement from Polly Platt, I made friends in France, cooked for them, and may even send my daughter to stay with some of them next summer. I recommend this book to everyone planning a visit to France.
Rating:
Summary: A real eye-opener
Review: Tons of good info in this book. Really hits you in the face the major differences between French and American culture. In many areas, we are polar opposites - i.e., the closed office door in France is meaningless, but if you open one here without knocking, you're in big trouble! And as someone with a small bladder, I think I'd lose my mind if I were invited to a Parisian friend's place for dinner, plied with wine all night, and then considered mal elevee if I used their W.C.! This book definitely made me rethink living in France. I would definitely recommend that anyone considering living there read it to know what you're in for and whether the differences will affect whether you'd be happy. It's ironic that the French can be very helpful, but that people in civil positions where they're supposed to be helpful go out of their way not to be. Definitely not the American way! My only two complaints about the book: 1) it seems to be entirely Paris-focused, and I was interested in living in Provence. The city and the country can be vastly different, but she makes no mention of that. How much of her observations carry over to the country way of life? And 2) while she talks about French culture in the workplace, there's no discussion at ALL about how to get a job in France if you're not French. Is the American way of networking and submitting a resume with a strong "I'll call you next week" approach acceptable there? I get the feeling it's not, but she provides no insights. A chapter on job seeking would have been very, very helpful.
Rating:
Summary: Read Polly Platt's books to enrich your French experience
Review: I just got back from Paris, and I am so glad I read "Savoir Flair!" and "French or Foe." These two books prepared me for my trip and helped to make it even more pleasurable. I loved Paris! In fact, I loved it so much, I'm going back in August, so two trips in a matter of three months! The people of France were nothing but welcoming. Everyone was so nice. The French people went out of their way to be kind to me. I know for a fact that because of reading these books, I knew what to expect and how to handle myself in their environment. Everyone should read Polly Platt's books and take a few French lessons before they go to France, if they want to get the most out of their time there. I am now going to reread these books before I go again. I have purchased many books about France, but these were by far the most helpful.
Teresa in California
Rating:
Summary: Essential reading for Americans moving to Paris
Review: I have lived in Paris for thirteen years, and "French or Foe" is the ONE book I recommend to all the new arrivals I meet. Yes, even those who already speak good French, which makes a lot less difference than you might think to the culture shock. That is because this book is the most directly helpful. The advice in "French or Foe" can make a real difference to your everyday happiness if you live or travel here, especially if you are having a hard time. There are few people, indeed, who could extract no useful information from this book; even they will at least have some good laughs, since the book is full of funny and usually enlightening anecdotes. My French friends who have read the French translation say they all learned something about themselves! The fact is, some things about France will always be difficult for us "Anglo-Saxons" (as the French call all native English-speakers), no matter how assimilated. Human nature may be the same everywhere, but the basic assumptions of our two cultures are very different. I'm sure things are hard for the French in America too. But Polly Platt's book makes the hardest things easier. She gives you practical advice and clear reasons why the French behave in puzzling ways. For example, in America if you complain to a store manager about a store employee, the employee is very likely to get into trouble, and you will certainly get an apology. In France, the store manager will try to put you in the wrong. That is because in France, it is almost impossible to fire someone, so the manager will have to live with the employee for a long time to come, and is better off antagonizing a single (foreign) customer. Therefore, if you have a complaint, you have to try to save the employee's and the manager's face, while presenting your problem as something that their expertise can help you with. This really works! And the MAGIC phrase, "Excuse me for bothering you, but I have a problem" is one of the great keys for how to get along in France. There are many of these tips in the book. Just this week, I forgot one of "French or Foe"'s lessons and left a meeting without shaking everyone's hand. They were all visibly shocked. To the French, this is terribly bad manners. Yet of course it is not in America. I only recently discovered that it was Just Not Done to wish people here "Happy New Year" before the New Year had actually arrived! "Common sense" doesn't necessarily help when you are in a different culture. This is where "French or Foe" steps in. Yes, the formal dinner party information may seem a bit out of date, and is perhaps irrelevant to most readers; but believe it or not, this kind of dinner party is still thriving in certain parts of Paris, and since it is exactly the kind of thing that makes Americans feel most uncomfortable, I don't think it is amiss to have a few tips on how to handle one. If nothing else, knowing the formal routine could make dinner with the boss or the friend's grandparents, or a birthday meal in a fancy restaurant, less intimidating. The main gap in the book is probably the relative lack of information for younger people meeting the French in more casual settings. That is not the author's background. However, it's also true Americans don't tend to have as much trouble with that environment, which is more similar to their own. And those "casual" young French people often have surprisingly different ideas from the "casual" young Americans-- this book helps explain why. I have to admit that this book is not for everyone.
It's not necessarily for young students: they are likely to meet French kids their own age who speak English and have a more international outlook, and they tend to have protective arrangements made for them before they arrive. It's not necessarily for people who live in the provinces: "French or Foe" is Paris-centered (as is France itself!). Some French people announce angrily that the France in this book is not THEIR France. Of course not! THEIR France has their own loving friends and relatives; their own native language; their own personal past; their own habits and manners learned implicitly in childhood. All advantages a foreigner does not have. The claim that their own foreign acquaintances do not have problems in France can be taken with a grain of salt: how many foreigners complain about a country to its natives, rather than to their own compatriots? No, this book is about France as experienced by Americans. (Although at least two British people whom I have met here were given "French or Foe" by the British embassy and told to read it before moving.) And it does a great job explaining things that are hard for us to understand about this wonderful country. Vive la France!
Rating:
Summary: Avoid the "Ugly American" Tag
Review: Polly Platt can save your vacation! I am a huge fan of both of her books on getting along with the French. They have had a huge impact on my travels and my comfort level abroad--and not just in France. They start you thinking about the different mindset of the Europeans in a way that makes it easy (with minor adjustments for each country) to get along practically everywhere. I've lived in Geneva, Florence, London and Rome since reading French or Foe and Savoir Flair, as well as traveled to Paris and other parts of France, and cannot tell you the number of times her tips have gotten me out of sticky situations or helped me understand the undercurrent of a conversation in a way that others who have not read them do not. With respect for Americans at an all time low world-wide, Platt's books clue you into a way of behaving that not only will make you look "in the know," but will also reflect well on your country. A great present for anyone traveling to France, especially exchange students interested in an exclusive picture of French life and culture.
Rating:
Summary: Outstanding cultural immersion in the safety of a paperback
Review: French or Foe was not only an entertaining read, but it was also highly enlightening. Polly Platt provides countless examples of Americans who just couldn't grok the French, suggests how the French perceive the world and recommends ways of approaching the situation better. She covers the gamut of common situations from business meetings (e.g., the importance of shaking hands), the systeme'D, and the delicate etiquette expected during the highly coveted dinner (assume you won't see a toilet during the evening, never ask the host for the recipe, and keep quiet). THere's a wealth of French history filling out some of the more curious angles, as well as copious emphasis on core values such as education in mathematics and science. After reading this I began to understand them more and appreciated their uniqueness.
Rating: 
Summary: Oui, Je comprends maintenant...
Review: As an anglo saxon with a French boyfriend, living and working in Paris, I often found myself thinking, "Oh. NOW I understand!" while reading this book. Several friends have complained about the unorganized, rambling nature of "French or Foe" but if you are like me and merely reading it to learn rather than to hunt for specific information, that shouldn't be a problem.
My biggest complaint? Platt's clear desire to impress upon all her readers the fact that she is of a certain social milieu. The name-dropping throughout begins as annoying but quickly becomes embarrassing. Yes, Polly, we are very very impressed that you know endless numbers of top-ranking foreign service people, CEOs, and all other sorts of rich and famous folk. But I, for one, would be more interested in hearing their tales mixed with some about the experiences of more 'common folk'. Also, Platt seems to assume that her readers all share her social aspirations and often wastes pages which could be used for more practical information, I was quite taken aback when she described the "Rally," which is a sort of French Cotillion where teens of the french upper crust meet other rich teens. Platt claimed that American mothers in Paris are dying to get their daughters into a good Rally, then explains the difficulty of doing so, all the while broadly hinting that her children were, of course, accepted into them. I couldn't believe it! No anglo saxon parent I've met here would give a hoot about having his or her child in a Rally. Again, I think Platt often writes for an audience who makes up a very small percentage of her readers.
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