French or Foe?: Getting the Most Out of Visiting, Living and Working in France

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Summary: CAUTION: Book is very misleading!
Review: If I could select zero stars then I would have. This book is not true. It is easy come to the same conclusions that this author has but you will be wrong. It seems that the author has been spending more time with Americans than French in France. I bet this book is more about the author's personality and personal problems than the French culture (Ouch!). If you want to understand the French culture, or any culture, just pick up a history book and you will soon find the cultural answers you desire. The author gets somethings right, but for the most part, I believe that you will have a misunderstanding of the French culture after reading this book. If you are a dumb hick living in the boonies then you may find this simple book of use (There, I said it!). Otherwise you can do yourself a favor and get to those history books and French movies/literature. Sorry no shortcuts on this one (Darn!). I am American and since this review is not about the French culture then I have no opinion of the French culture that I would like to express. Go Lance Armstrong!

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Summary: Finally, I understand why they are that way.
Review: This book is a must for anyone planning to live or work in France, especially if they have school age children. after twelve visits to France, I can say with confidence that Polly Platt understands the French and explains the differences and the basis for those differences. She covers everything from business conversations to schooling, history, food, family matters and social interaction. It is not so much a How To book as much as a Why book. If going to France, read it, you'll need it.

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Summary: You must read this book if you plan to go to France.
Review: I work for a French company. Some French neighbors told me to read this book before going to train in France for 5 weeks. I was really surprized at how accurately the French way of life was portrayed. If you follow the instructions in this book you will likely make lifelong freinds when you are in France. It has helped me in my everyday dealings with French people at work. In fact I will marry a French girl this spring. This is definitely a must read if you want to enjoy the French experience.

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Summary: Hands-on, first-hand look at French mores and more...
Review: Polly Platt gives an irreverent but fresh hands-on, first-hand look at Parisian life and all the pitfalls for the naive visitor with light-hearted humor and panache. "Excusez-moi de vous deranger..." was one phrase I found extremely helpful on my recent trip to the City of Lights and romance as well as deciphering The Look, and how not to make too many faux pas. Indispensable for francophiles and executives thinking of visiting and living in France

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Summary: Fascinating insights, good humor and a new perspective.
Review: This book was recommended to me by my French teacher, who teaches a class for parents learning French at the French-American bilingual school which my daughter attends (la maitresse also recommended "Cultural Misunderstandings," written by a French anthropologist, more cultural hisory, fewer jokes. more thoughtful). I enjoyed the book, and found many interesting little "oh, that's why they do that" insights that truly delineate what cutlural dufferences are all about. Obviously the author really loves the French people, and she does poke now and then at both French and English-speaking people. I felt enlightened by some of the hints, things like how the French and Americans treat a closed door differently, the "smiling American" issue, the deflection of blame, the French school system. French parents at our child's school were divided on the book; some loved it, feeling that it explained things that to them are natural but are puzzling to American parents, others felt it was a bit condescending and didn't really understand the French. The whole part about French men and women flirting all the time was good. It wasn't until I saw a late 40s French friend flirting with an early 20s German-French young man and him flirting back that I realized this wasn't a special event for them or expected to lead to anything later on, it was simply an amusement, a fun thing to do, and it was really lovely to watch the choreography of their interaction, quite exactly as described in the book. My only big complaint: the author's descriptions of the formal dinner party seemd a bit out-of-date and stilted, not relevant for the under-60 crowd; none of the people I know in France said they ever go to parties like the one she described, and the "you are a chair" thing was a bit much. Overall, I'd certainly recommend it to someone going to France on a vacation or wanting to get to know French people.

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Summary: Expats and even French people love Polly's take
Review: I just returned from a delightful lunch with Polly Platt and her husband in the southwest of France, and I must say that she is a remarkable lady. She is outspoken, forthright, intelligent, idiosyncratic, and all the other things that lend such charm to her book. Even the French like it--at least everyone I have loaned it to. Oh, she also has a web site now, so search it out. Gossip has it that Polly may in the not-too-distanct future complete a second book. She asked my opinion of her working title, C'est Normale! and I said I liked it. (What is normal in France may be bizarre elsewhere, but they think it is.) What do you think? Let's take a vote... if everything works out right, we may also do some hilarious videos about the experiences of americains, rosbifs, canadiens [anglais] et australiens en france. Cheers. If you haven't read French or Foe? , click the order button now. It's a hoot and it's true.

Rating:
Summary: Thank You For Warning Me
Review: I enjoyed this book very much. It's informative, funny, well-organized and clear throughout, and also very honest. In fact, that's the only reason why I'm docking one star; it's because the author (Polly Platt) is too honest for her own intentions. She wants to defend the French and get us foreigners to see them in a more sympathetic light. But Ms. Platt actually reveals them to be exactly the creeps that most people have suspected (or stereotyped) them to be. For example, on pg. 128 she says, "One of the first and most important things French children have hammered into them is not to speak to strange children in the park, and above all, not to share their toys with them." What a wonderful thing to teach your children! To be arrogant and selfish from the get go. She also in other parts of the book describes French fathers as domineering, French mothers as highly critical of their children, and the French educational system as "harrowing" and "like a prison sentence". And the reason why I'm enclined to believe all this is that she insists throughout the book that she loves the French and wants to convince us how great (and misunderstood) they really are. In other words, she can't be accused of being biased against them. Read her final thoughts on pg. 271-272. In reality she unwittingly shows that the Francophobes have been right all along (Yes! They really ARE that bad!) and that one should only visit France briefly as a tourist to enjoy the museums and so forth. Anyone contemplating living or working there would have to be out of their friggin' mind. At one time I considered moving there with my wife and daughter for a few years so we could study French, but I certainly won't do that now. Anyway, thanks for warning me, Ms. Platt!

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Summary: A good start, but there's more to France
Review: Polly Platt's book starts out on the right foot, but then she tries to describe her version of a French family and its dynamics, and there I have to say, the whole thing goes bad. ***I was an exchange student in Toulouse, France on a couple of occasions and I must say that my experience, even in bourgeoise circles, was nothing like what Mme. Platt describes. And I must also say that I was part of all family activities, and thus one need not marry into the family, as she put it, in order to become a part of it. American families are made to look equally bad. Nor is much justice done to American parenting stylesor American youngsters. Growing up in the US, I do not recall being allowed to run wild in restaurants or interrupt my parents,as Mme. Platt says American youngsters are allowed to do. Nor was I ever so bold to meander around someone's home uninvited. So not only are French families made to look cold and closed, US families look like rude, forward, obnoxious types. Sorry, that is not my reality.*** I was aslo distressed to read Mme. Platt's version of family dynamics, especially the horrible story about the French family who came to the US and then returned to France only have one daughter try and kill herself and the other marry a non-Frenchman. Of course the whole fault was to lie with the horrible American influence! Please, Mme. Platt, that was a bit heavy handed, don't you think? Re-entry Shock is a well known cross-cultural challenge. The more one assimulates into the foreign culture, ther harder it is to re-assumilate back into the national culture, all experts in Cross-cultural communications know this. *** I think Mme. Platt needs to leave Paris and it's bourgeoise cicles to visit average Frenchpeople in average French cities. Paris is a culture all its own, as are most large US cities.***I like the PPO and some of the other things that Platt mentions. But, like many Cross-cultural studies, Platt's containes generalizations and sterotypes as well as a touch of snobbery. Like many Cross-cultural experiences, there is a lot to discuss and argue about. So read the book, but keep an open mind in the knowledge that this is one person's long, but limited experience.

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Summary: Extremely useful and entertaining
Review: I read the book prior to a trip to France to visit a dear friend and his parents who live near Grenoble. I'm not sure he or his family fit the descriptions in the book, but many of the chapters helped considerably in my encounters with other people. Incidentally, unlike the author's experience, all of my French friends were able to identify the smiling photo of Mitterrand immediately!

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Summary: Decidely bias in favor of the French but still very useful
Review: Decidely bias in favor of the French but still very useful and amusing. It is an easy book to pick up and read for five minutes at a time. Many short stories that the author projects into broad generalizations about the culture. This is definitely not a scientific study of the differences in cultures but written from the prospective of one who obviously loves living in France and whose children spouses married French natives. I get the feeling that it was written so that if one of her children's French spouses read the book that they would feel their culture was being defended and not offened.