Rating: 
Summary: ...but that was another story
Review: In "Conan the Destroyer", the brooding Cimmerian barbarian is enlisted to help the regent of the city of Shadizar recover a powerful artifact - a horn, that will awaken Shadizar's sleeping god. To complete his quest, the barbarian must protect Jenna, a lovely princess (Olivia D'Abo) and her escort, Bombataa (Wilt Chamberlin - in an inspired bit of miscasting, his character's essential role is protect the princess's virtue - she won't be able to reclaim the artifact unless she keeps her virginity as well). He'll also have the help of the Malak, a bumbling and cowardly cutthroat and thief, the Mystic Sage, and Zula, an outcast warrior played by the androgenous Grace Jones (in the Marvel Comics original, Zula's character was decidedly male). To get the horn, Conan will first have to find its crystal key - both of which are kept in their own foreboding temple-to-the-evil-demigod, and each of which comes with its own evil wizard. (Only the princess can touch the crystal.) Conan isn't sure if he should be along with this quest, but Shadizar's regent baits him with his heart's desire - to reunite him with Valeria (Sandahl Bergman - who died in the last film). As with all quests, this one comes with some dangers, not the least of which is the crooked paths the quest will take, and the question of whether the sleeper should even awaken. The story is based on an extended story appearing in one of the Conan Comics series. Suffice it to say that, based on his experiences there, Conan came to know Shadizar as the "city of lies". Otherwise, this story misses the heart of the Conan saga so aptly matched in the first movie - which was complex and deep where this flick is shallow and uninspired. The flick, in touching on characters who were originated in Marvel Comics' various Conan titles sets itself up for comparison to comic books, and loses badly. Zula, a warrior who gave up the freebooters life for the twisted ways of sorcery, is only another crazy rogue here. Thoth Amon, who bedevils Conan from the start, is only a common sorceror here, no different from the lesser mages Conan would face. Even the twist, where Conan learns that he's been working for evil the whole time, is no twist (a surprise given away early by the casting of the lovely but evil Sarah Douglas as Jenna's aunt). The movie completely misses the heart of the Conan legend - how a mercenary rogue and barbarian somehow matured and became the uncontested ruler of a modern and civilized (for Hyborian days) kingdom. The biggest problem with the story is that, it's not a particularly memorable Conan story - untrustworthy wizrds, beautiful women, fearless warriors - having the ingredients of countless lesser Conan tales. As with the first movie, this one ends with a vision of Conan as a future ruler of Aquilonia, seeing him grayed as he sits on the throne, worried over the typical problems of running a kingdom. "...but that was another story", the flick tells us. The only difference is that, when the first flcik was over, we were sure that we had nevertheless had a story we enjoyed, whereas at the end of this one, I couldn't stop wondering, "well, why didn't they show that story instead?"
Rating: 
Summary: Come on people
Review: This movie is no Conan The Barbarian. It's not even one fifth as good. So really the 1 star is too much.
Rating: 
Summary: Great Depiction Of Conan's Character
Review: Following the phenomenal success of both the original "Conan The Barbarian" movie as the following record-breaking smash with "The Terminator', Schwarzenegger found himself reluctantly under contract to film the first of three originally planned sequels to the Conan movie, "Conan the Destroyer". Yet this time it would be quite a different movie, more of a comic book approach to the pulp-fiction hero, with the emphasis on special effects and attempting to appeal to younger viewers. Indeed, the director of the original movie, John Milius, was not brought back to reprise his oversight, and the new director had very different ideas about how to interpret the character and the storyline. Arnold had come in a little lean yet muscular, and the director was less than thrilled. He insisted Schwarzenegger bulk up to more huge bodybuilding proportions, and delayed filming while Arnie quickly bulked up more than 30 pounds by training like a madman for three months or so. The result is a movie in which Conan is reduced to a comic book type figure, and all of the dark and brooding nuances of the character as depicted in the original film are absent. That much said, Arnold looks absolutely terrific, very big and quite muscular, and some of the action scenes, especially in the beginning and toward the end, are quite reminiscent of the first film. The special effects are quite good in spots, although some of the sets and dialogue are a bit wooden and unrealistic. There is a lot of good humor in the film, and the supporting cast has luminaries like Grace Jones, Wilt Chamberlain, and Olivia D'Abo cast well for some interesting hijinks along the way. The plot seems silly and contrived, and the only saving grace seems to be the final confrontation with the creature summoned up from Hell by the sorceress to conquer the world. The ensuing struggle between a mere mortal like Conan and the supernatural creature seems right out of the Robert Howard novels, and serves to redeem the movie in the lat moments. This is not something I would recommend for children, as it is quite frightening at points, and it also has a lot of dialogue referring to "D'Abo's "virtue" or chastity, which gets to be a bit much as it is repeated again and again. But any chance to see Conan seemingly come to life as only he can through the magic of movies is worth all these quibbles, and I have turned this on for some rather mindless action entertainment perhaps more often than I want to discuss publicly. It isn't a particularly well-made film, and it has a few plot holes that even an idiot could think his way through. Yet it also has the saving grace of giving us Arnold playing the part of Conan as only he could, after all. And as the character says in one of Howard's most famous stories about him, "Who dies first?" Enjoy!
Rating: 
Summary: Zula was NOT androgenous!! Come on!
Review: I must ask this: WHY the HECK is Grace Jones described as "androgynous" in the review for this film? Oh because 1. She can defend herself. 2. She's a dark skinned black woman with an African name. 3. She enjoys beating people's...uh behinds. I personally thought she was very feminine. And some people need to check themselves and think long and hard about what it is to be "feminine." Oh how I love this country. Anyway, I love Conan in this film. Granted he's not so brooding and serious in this one but I like seeing another side of him. And I still think he's hardcore. Arnold was awesome in this role. This movie was great when I was small and still is.
Rating:
Summary: Starts with a c ends with a p, 2 guesses and it isn't 'carp'
Review: I am so sorry I wasted time watching this. Dumb characters, bad acting....and if the girl doesn't stop screaming, I am going to hurl.
Rating:
Summary: great escapism fun
Review: back when i was like 12, this was my favorite film. i would watch it over and over and over again. it helped my imagination soar. ofcourse now, looking back, i see how much of a B-movie it really is. but it was still fun escapism when i was younger.
Rating:
Summary: Conan, the Immortal God
Review: The continuation of "Conan the Barbarian" was exactly what I had hoped for. Conan must escort the evil Queen Taramis' princess to find a treasure. If he returns the girl in one peace, then his beloved Valeria will be brought back to life. That plotline is adorable and Conan shows how much he loves the girl of his dreams. Accompanying Conan to the glass castle, is the forever intimidating Grace Jones and Wilt Chamberlain. Considering this epic picture is PG, the violence level is extremely high. I was flabbergasted with the decapitation and ugliness of the monsters. The fight in the mirrors reminded me of Bruce Lee vs. The Claw Man from "Enter the Dragon". It was that immaculate! By the way, Mako returned as the funny little wizard and he is commendable! The best sword-and-sorcery film ever made and I'm still praying to the gods for Hollywood to make another Conan masterpiece.
Rating: 
Summary: Good sequel
Review: After the succesful Conan The Barbarian the inevitable sequel took part 2 years after the first. This time Conan the Cimmerian(Schwarzenegger) must find with the help of a virgin princess a jewel that leads to the horn of a god Dagoth which a evil queen(Douglas) needs to give to their kingdom all the power of the world. Followed by the sorcerer of the first film(Mako) by a cure thief(Lester) and a agile warrior(Jones) they must face all the dangers of such a risky mission. With dign special and visual effects and the final monster made by the creator of ET the film has a whole dign production better than italian imitations(Ator) or cheesy and camp productions(Red Sonja,Barbarian Queen) and at least is entertaining and pleased to watch.
Rating:
Summary: omg
Review: I'd give this movie lots'o stars. I like it. It's not long and boring like the first. There's some good swordfights. There's some magic. There's Arnold. BUT! There is also some major butchering of the gore scenes. I cringed when I watched my dvd, as I realised there were at least 3-4 scenes that had been cut. Because of this I'm takin' a bunch of stars back. One star for Arnold, and one for the swords/whole conan-setting.
Don't buy until there's an uncut version.
Rating:
Summary: c'mon this movie is classic
Review: Everybody hating on this film is retarted..this is a classic film...thats all there is to it.
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